Nick Stokes quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Greg

So, what's the pot up to?

Nick

We don't bet on cases.

Greg

Ah, of course you don't...So who's winning?

I am.

Greg

Fiends.

Grissom

Well, in this case we're going to recreate the flight from ... 1630 hours on. [points to Brass] You are in 4B.

Brass

Lou.

Catherine

Lou -- the angry businessman. How about that?

Brass

[Sarcastic] Ha ha.

Sara

I want to be Shannon.

Grissom

Good.

Warrick

The stewardess.

Sara

Excuse me, it's "Flight Attendant".

Grissom

Catherine, the doctor, 3E.

Catherine

Single mom. What an imagination you have.

Grissom

[points to Nick and Warrick] Max and Marlene, 2E and F. You two are married. Who wants to wear the pants?

Nick

CSI-3 seniority, "sweetie".

Warrick

Yeah, whatever. You're henpecked anyway.

Sara

[To Grissom] Let me guess; you're the computer geek.

Grissom

In the interest of clarity, yes. Nate in 2C.

Grissom

Now Lou said that he was the peacemaker.

Brass

Peacemaker, my ass. [Shows three empty mini-bottles of whiskey] He's got three empties in the pouch, the seat reeks of whiskey; the guy probably spilled Lou's drink.

Catherine

Very good.

Brass

I was boss at CSI once, for a reason. So, Lou gets up and takes a swing at the guy. Well, after knocking three back at 30,000 feet, you know, he probably misses, so what does he get for his troubles?

Warrick

A CD swipe across the chops.

Brass

So, then he falls back–oh, maybe that's when he fell back and spilled his own drink.

Grissom

Now, by this time, Candelewell's got to be out of his seat, right?

Nick

You know, if I'm Max, I want no part of this. Plus, I don't have an aisle seat.

Brass

Yeah, but you're lucky: your wife's going to make sure you get into the playing field.

Warrick

Yeah, go ahead, honey. Save my life.

Nick

So Max gets up, goes across Marlene,[to Warrick] Excuse me, buttercup...

Sara

I don't care what you say. I could never take a life.

Warrick

It was between him or me, I could. What about you, Nick?

Nick

I don't know.

Catherine

[walks in with Grissom] Wow, looks deathly serious in here.

Sara

[smiling sweetly] Oh, we were just talking about murder and whether or not we would commit it. I couldn't, Warrick could, and Nick's on the ropes. We're taking an exit poll.

Nick

Catherine, you're a mother. You and Lindsey are on that plane. How far do you go?

Catherine

All the way.

Sara

(surprised) You didn't even hesitate.

Catherine

That's right. If it involves the protection of my child I fight to the death.

Warrick

See? We have four people here, all with different opinions. Think of how the passengers must have felt.

Sara

What do you think, Grissom?

Grissom

(beat) I can't answer that question.

Catherine

That's a cop-out. It's a simple question. What would you have done if you had been one of those passengers?

Grissom

It's not about that. You all have different opinions but you've taken the same point of view. You've put yourself in the shoes of the passengers, but nobody's put themselves in the shoes of the victim. That's the point.

Sara

I'm sorry. What are you saying?

Grissom

Nobody stopped to ask Candlewell if he was all right. They just assumed, because he was kicking the back of Nate's seat, that he was a jerk. Because he was pushing his call button, that he was bothering the Flight Attendant. Because he was trying to get into the lavatory, he was making a scene. Because he was going back and forth up and down the aisles, he was posing a threat.

Catherine

He was a threat.

Grissom

No. He turned into a threat. It didn't have to be that way. People make assumptions. That's the problem. You just did. And I think these passengers made the wrong assumption and now this guy's dead.

Warrick

Well, if that's your stance how could it have been prevented?

Grissom

If just one person had stopped and taken the time to look at the guy to listen to him, to figure out what was wrong with him, it might not have happened. It took five people to kill him. It would have only taken one person to save his life.

Grissom

No, Sara's gonna work with me. You've got a missing person, Sheryl Applegate. Her husband notified the police that she took the car and headed to LA, but she never showed up. A few hours ago, the PD found her car at the bus station. They requested a CSI.

Nick

She took the bus instead, case solved. [grins]

Grissom

Well, right now, treat her car like a crime scene. [tilts his head to the side] Go.

Catherine

Hey, how's the body with the bugs?

Grissom

How do you know about that already? (he turns around and looks at Sara)

Sara

Hey, don't look at me.

Nick

We, uh, played a hunch; checked with homicide. You were late.

Nick

Hey.

Warrick

Hey.

Catherine

Nicky, how's it going?

Warrick

What's up?

Nick

Good, good. (he looks at the painting) Are you putting one of Lindsey's drawings into evidence? (Cath and Warrick laugh)

Catherine

If only her artwork brought in this kind of dough I wouldn't need to worry about her college tuition.

Nick

Yeah, I heard your missing person was a "painting".

Warrick

(scoffs) At least we solved our case.

Nick

Oh! (Nick puts a hand to his chest as if wounded)

Catherine

Keep walking. (Nick laughs and leaves the room)

Grissom

Sara Sidle. 419. [Grissom hands the assignment sheet to Sara]

Sara

Dead body -- bonus.

Catherine

Whoa, somebody likes their job.

Grissom

Nick Stokes. 416, fight at the Bellagio. She says she's a friend of yours.

Catherine

Ex-girlfriend, Nick?

Nick

Well, that depends. Was she the assaulter of the assaultee?

Sara

You tell us, you like leather or lace?

Nick

[chuckles] No, I'm not even going there. [turns to leave, but turns back] Lace! [Sara smiles]

Nick

I need your shirt.

Why is it every time we meet you're wanting me to take my clothes off?

Nick

Because every time we meet you put yourself in a position where you have to take them off.

Grissom

That's my Big Mouth Billy Bass. It's better than a watch dog. I got some valuable stuff in here.

Nick

Yeah, I'm sure lots of people would want to steal your two headed scorpion and Miss Piggy.

Greg

'[about Kristy's shirt] Now, I've done this procedure on jeans and leather jackets but never on something like this. It's very see through. Very Jennifer Lopez.

Nick

Down boy.

Greg

It's going to be a tough one to prove. This is only step one. You see, when a person talks saliva naturally comes out of their mouth. Let's say that we're tossing the hog back and forth, right? [as he talks the camera makes note of the saliva that comes out of his mouth naturally in illustration of what he just said] What can you tell me about the hottie that goes inside this blouse, huh? Is it true she's a friend of yours?

Nick

What, is it on the internet?

Greg

Might as well be. Just remember that. My saliva is getting on you, your saliva is getting on me.

Nick

Gross. [Greg grabs a spray pump and sprays it on the paper] What's that stuff?

Greg

Starch and iodine. If this is saliva, we're going to get the old dalmatian effect. So, Nick, uh, if I wanted to meet this friend of yours...?

Nick

No.

Greg

Figured. [Greg sprays the paper] That's a pretty big spot. That's more than just a spray. In fact, looks like a distinct glob of spit.

Nick

Then Kristy was telling the truth. But it doesn't mean it was the security guard's spit.

Greg

Step three.

Nick

I'm going to need a sample.

Greg

Well, the guy knows he did it. He's not going to cough it up.

Nick

If you saw the girl that went with this blouse...you'd try.

Grissom

I was supposed to pass out some supervisor evaluation forms. Where are they?

Catherine

(grabs the papers and beings to hand them out) Here they are.

Nick

(smiles) Mmm. Get to rate the boss. I dig this.

Catherine

Give him a perfect ten or your ass is out of here.

Grissom

No, it's not. (Sara laughs)

Catherine

Hey, Nick ... I'm sorry to hear about your friend.

Nick

Who told you?

Nick

So people know I was with Kristy last night?

Catherine

(looks at Grissom with a questioning look) Not yet.

Nick

Maybe I should just go to Ecklie and tell him I was there.

Grissom

When you're a suspect and you're innocent, keep your mouth shut. I'll talk to Ecklie.

Catherine

Bad idea. You and Ecklie ... oil and water. Just let me get into it.

Grissom

You told me you weren't dating her.

Nick

I wasn't till last night after I broke up her fight with this guy, uh... Jack.

Grissom

And Ecklie's at her house now.

Nick

Yeah, and I can tell you what he's going to find. My fingerprints; my DNA.

Grissom

What were you thinking, Nicky?

Nick

I wasn't.

I need a DNA sample from you, Nick.

Nick

I assume you're trying to prove Kristy Hopkins and I were sexually active last night.

We found a condom, used.

Nick

And my DNA will match, no warrant necessary. And I have something else for you. (Nick hands Ecklie a piece of paper with writing on it) I got this off a valet surveillance tape.

A license plate number?

Nick

Vehicle belongs to Jack Willman. Had a fight with Kristy Hopkins outside the Orpheus last night around midnight.

Well, I'll look into it but come on-- your fingerprints, your DNA, that's what's going into evidence.

Nick

You just love that, don't you?

You think I want to believe a CSI could commit murder? Hell I don't even want to believe that a CSI could sleep with a hooker.

Catherine

You know what? Nick's private life...

Is no longer private. (beat) Catherine, I'm sorry if you guys don't like where the evidence is pointing. But show me otherwise-- tell me I'm wrong. In the meantime, my hands are tied. I have protocol to follow. (leaves)

Nick

(to Cath) I hate that guy.