Hey JJ. That's your girl name.
Of course.
S2 E5Keeping Me Alive
SSmith
Wow! That was like riding a mechanic bull.
We should break up more often.
Some of us over did it at the pre no more alimony party party, so I made these margaritas with crushed up aspirin.
They should market this to drunks! Or us.
S2 E6You Don't Know How It Feels
Hi Barb, what are you a shredded wheat?
BBarb
Hah. No. I'm a haystack. Hey fellas, who wants to roll around in the hay!?
CChick
Ding a ling a ling...
That's my cue since I was four. I had to use both my hands.
Awe how cute.
Ellie Torres, I'm fixing to get mad at you.
Really, are you fixing?
Damn it.
S2 E7Fooled Again: I Don't Like It
You ever looked death in the eye, Trav?
Well, now that that jar of gasoline has a flaming can of Sterno next to it, I'd have to say yes.
So you poured this whole pitcher directly into your lungs? I mean, at some point you must have known you were drowning. Why didn't you stop?
Bobby Cobb never quits!
Not even at killing himself?
Not even. That stupid college death pot!
Still not a college thing.
Whatever, man. It's still the most dangerous thing on my boat.
Really? I'm going to spin around and say the first thing I see. A loaded flare gun on a jar full of gasoline!"
Well that's for when the rats come!
You told me before it started that Kevin Spacey was Keyser Söze and I was still surprised! Wait, was he Keyser Söze?
Yes!
Alright, so the crippled guy was his evil twin?
No, same guy.
Well let's just agree to disagree.
Hey College! I'm calling you College now because you go to college.
Yeah, I pieced that together.
S2 E8Little Blue Girls
Being good at sex isn't something you can learn, Travis. It's something you're born with. Luckily, I've got the gift.
TTom
He really does. (Andy stares at him) My window faces your window.
Go home, Tom.
Travis has hit that age where all girlfriends could be potential future daughters-in-law. And one will convince him to yank your feeding tube out.
What are you trying to do to me?
I'm winding you up like a toy robot and letting you go!
(About Travis's new girlfriend) So gang, what do we think of her?
Do you think she wears a schoche too much makeup?
Impossible. There's no such thing.
You look like you poured your makeup on the floor, then rolled around in it.
Poppy, the transsexual at the makeup counter I frequent, would beg to differ.
KKirsten
Plus, Travis scared me. He said you always embarrass him when he brings a girl home.
Travis, I said I would never do that again.
(Popping up from behind a chair) Hi Kristen!
KKirsten
What was that?
What was what?
It's starting again.
(Popping out from behind the cabinet) Hi, Kristen!
(Popping out from behind the couch) Hi, Kristen!
(Popping out from inside a chair) Hi, Kristen!
Hey, Kristen.
Okay everybody, big finish.
EEverybody
Hi, Kristen!
KKirsten
(Singing) It's Kirsten, but you can call me whatever... I hate that I'm singing
She's like a nervous little bird!
S2 E9When the Time Comes
You guys can understand what I say, right?
It should be me. I probably should've brought this up to you in our first through sixth year of marriage, but sometimes when you talk too quickly or too quietly, or when you talk at all-
Get to it! Bobby, we can't understand one word you say! Or as you would put it, we can't urbadurn your frazzle dazzle! (Everyone but Bobby laughs)
Ya'll think you're funnier than a barrel full of Foxworthys. But you're not. (Leaves)
Does anyone know what he just said?
Nope.
Not a clue.
Frazzle dazzle.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Cougar Town pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.