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6 SEASONS

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389 quotes · page 16 of 26

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S2 E20Competitive Wine Tasting

Don't preach to me about romance, Annie. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.

S2 E21Paradigms of Human Memory

Didn't we decide at the beginning of the year that for the good of the group we wouldn't allow any intimacy between each other or ourselves?

Troy, we never said ourselves.

Okay, now I'm really mad.

[Troy and Abed are watching TV as Britta comes in the room and abruptly changes channel, to their disappointment]

What are you doing?!

There's rioting in Tunisia!

The Cape is premiering!

Humanity is premiering, you jags!

[as he and the study group emerge from a lake completely wet] You can yell at me all you want! I've seen enough movies to know that popping the back of a raft makes it go faster.

[Jeff starts delivering a speech that becomes a montage of other "Winger Speeches" that were given in varoius locations]

Look, we've known each other for almost two years now.

[In a haunted house] And yeah, in that time, I've given a lot of speeches. But they all have one thing in common:

[At a drug lord's compound] They're all different. These drug runners aren't gonna execute Pierce because he's racist!

[In a railway station] It's a locomotive that runs on us!

[On the shore of a lake] ...and the only sharks in that water...

[In a haunted house] ...are the emotional ghosts that I like to call fear,

[In the College's cafeteria] ...anchovies,

[On a camping trip] ...fear...

[In an asylum] ...and the dangers of ingesting mercury! Gahh!

[Outside of a motel] Because the real bugs aren't the ones in those beds...

[In the College's cafeteria] And there's no such things as a "free Caesar Salad"! And even if there were...

[In the study room] The Cape still might find a second life on cable, and I'll tell you why:

[At a drug lord's compound, in Spanish] El corazón del agua es verdad.

[On the shore of a lake] That water is a lie!

[In an asylum] Harrison Ford is irradiating our testicles with microwave satellite transmissions!

[In the study room] So, maybe we are caught in an endless cycle of screw-ups and hurt feelings. But I choose to believe it's just the universe's way of molding us into some kind of super-group.

S2 E22Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts

[Dean enters anthropology classroom while Duncan is drinking wine, so Duncan throws the glass on floor] And that's how Jews celebrate at weddings! Anthropology!

L'chaim!

My nephew Jim was born on the treadmill at Bally Total Fitness; 20% incline.

I never told you this, but Changs are usually born with tails. You... sort of dodged a bullet there.

Professor Duncan, you are such a great teacher when you're drinking.

Thank you, Daryl.

It's Troy.

Hey, if the man wants to give "Daryl" an A, let him do it.

S2 E23A Fistful of Paintballs

Man, Math Club has gotten a lot better since last year.

Obviously they were practicing while the rest of us went on dates!

It began with a dream, Annie. A dream and an impulse to hide in the men's room. I found that people were willing to roll bullets under the door just for the right to take a dump. By the way, for you guys, taking a dump is on the house.

S2 E24For a Few Paintballs More

We just took down a professional paintball warrior.

What? That is absurd! Why would someone who's paid to do things be at Greendale?

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