Officer Sloppy Joe quotes from Chowder

[noticing the Marzipan Police outside] Radda? Radda. Radda radda radda radda!

Hey, look, a civilian!

[gasps; takes out a megaphone] We've got a hostage situation! Everybody stay calm!

A hostage situation?! [faints]

Radda?

Don't let his size fool you. Your captor is extremely dangerous.

And crafty.

And crafty.

And vicious.

And vicious.

And dangerous.

I said, "And dangerous."

I'm just trying to help! Don't yell at me!

Technically, you said, "extremely dangerous."

Sarge, Sarge, say he's stinky.

And a meanie.

And a bad boy.

Really?

Yeah.

Wow. [to Shnitzel; through megaphone] Well, he's all that stuff. We've been trying to stop his trail of destruction for years. [next scene shows the city buildings crashing down and the citizens screaming] Don't worry. One of us will save you, in just a minute.

[humming and clap rhythming "Pop Goes the Weasel"] And stop!

No, no, no, do it again.

[puts on a knight's helmet] PLEASE, DON'T KILL ME, PANINI!

Panini

I...I... [breaks down, crying] I JUST WANTED TO BE CLOSE TO YOU, CHOWDER! I just wanted to pass laws that would legally make you my property! And instead, you listened to Gorgonzola and ruin EVERYTHING! [sobbing] WHY?! [slams her head on the podium] WHY?! WHY?!

Oh, my gosh, Panini! Are you okay?!

Panini

[angrily through her teeth] Yes, Ceviche, I'm fine. Now go away so I can finish my moment. [Ceviche leaves; resumes sobbing] WHY?!

Don't cry. I wasn't listening to Gorgonzola. I was just hanging around with him because he was giving me food. He's my friend.

Panini

He's not your friend. He's like a villain or something.

Gorgonzola

[dressed as the Phantom of the Opera] Heeey, Mr. President.

[screams] A VILLAIN!!!

[appears] A villain, you say?!

Gorgonzola

You'll never take me alive, copper! [runs off, leaving Officer Sloppy Joe to follow pursuit]

[holding up two pairs of pants while in his underwear] Quick! I need everybody's attention. Stop whatever you're doing! I need to know which pair of pants go with this shirt I'm wearing. Seriously, you guys! I need help. I got a blind date in a few hours, and I want to look hot!

Hot date! [chanting] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Make sure you pat her on the back and burp her. I love it when my mommy does that.

Both pants look really nice. They both look really expensive. I wish I had nice things, but instead I have two cats, two expensive cats.

Well, if you ask me, a flat-front pant never goes out of style.

Look, Sarge, a woman doesn't care about how a guy is dressed on her first date, only that he pays attention to her.

And how would you know that?

Hello?! I'm a woman.

You are?

[close up on her face] Yes!

Just remember, girls love it when you're a real jerk to 'em. Works for me every time. [sulking] That's a lie. I'm so lonely.

Beaver Cop says, you should arrest her and force her to go out with you. I'm Beaver Cop.

Look, this is getting me nowhere. I haven't had a date in twelve years, okay? Twelve! That's a long time! That's 84 in dog years!

Hello? Marzipan Police Department.

[interrogating Shnitzel] All right, tough guy. You better come clean right now, 'cause your little friend over there just spilled the beans.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!