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4 QUOTES

A character in Chowder

Sgt. Hoagie quotes from Chowder

4 quotes

Sgt. Hoagie

Chowder · 151 quotes

Tied for 10th most-quoted character in Chowder: in 4 of its 151 quotes
Most scenes with: Officer Grinder (3), Officer Sloppy Joe (2)

Scenes with Sgt. Hoagie 4

[noticing the Marzipan Police outside] Radda? Radda. Radda radda radda radda!

Hey, look, a civilian!

SHSgt. Hoagie

[gasps; takes out a megaphone] We've got a hostage situation! Everybody stay calm!

LMOfficer Loose Meat

A hostage situation?! [faints]

Radda?

SHSgt. Hoagie

Don't let his size fool you. Your captor is extremely dangerous.

OOfficer

And crafty.

SHSgt. Hoagie

And crafty.

OOfficer

And vicious.

SHSgt. Hoagie

And vicious.

MCOfficer Monte Cristo

And dangerous.

SHSgt. Hoagie

I said, "And dangerous."

MCOfficer Monte Cristo

I'm just trying to help! Don't yell at me!

LMOfficer Loose Meat

Technically, you said, "extremely dangerous."

Sarge, Sarge, say he's stinky.

PJOfficer PB&J

And a meanie.

SLOfficer Snow Leopard

And a bad boy.

SHSgt. Hoagie

Really?

SLOfficer Snow Leopard

Yeah.

SHSgt. Hoagie

Wow. [to Shnitzel; through megaphone] Well, he's all that stuff. We've been trying to stop his trail of destruction for years. [next scene shows the city buildings crashing down and the citizens screaming] Don't worry. One of us will save you, in just a minute.

[The officers walk around in a circle with chairs in the middle]

[humming and clap rhythming "Pop Goes the Weasel"] And stop!

[The officers sit in chairs leaving the sarge standing]

SHSgt. Hoagie

No, no, no, do it again.

[Fivesday, 3:45 P.M.; Marzipan City Police Department]

SHSgt. Hoagie

[holding up two pairs of pants while in his underwear] Quick! I need everybody's attention. Stop whatever you're doing! I need to know which pair of pants go with this shirt I'm wearing. Seriously, you guys! I need help. I got a blind date in a few hours, and I want to look hot!

Hot date! [chanting] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

PJOfficer PB&J

Make sure you pat her on the back and burp her. I love it when my mommy does that.

COfficer Cheesesteak

Both pants look really nice. They both look really expensive. I wish I had nice things, but instead I have two cats, two expensive cats.

SLOfficer Snow Leopard

Well, if you ask me, a flat-front pant never goes out of style.

LMOfficer Loose Meat

Look, Sarge, a woman doesn't care about how a guy is dressed on her first date, only that he pays attention to her.

SHSgt. Hoagie

And how would you know that?

LMOfficer Loose Meat

Hello?! I'm a woman.

SHSgt. Hoagie

You are?

LMOfficer Loose Meat

[close up on her face] Yes!

PBOfficer Po-boy

Just remember, girls love it when you're a real jerk to 'em. Works for me every time. [sulking] That's a lie. I'm so lonely.

BCBeaver Cop

Beaver Cop says, you should arrest her and force her to go out with you. I'm Beaver Cop.

SHSgt. Hoagie

Look, this is getting me nowhere. I haven't had a date in twelve years, okay? Twelve! That's a long time! That's 84 in dog years!

[The telephone rings and Officer Sloppy Joe answers it]

Hello? Marzipan Police Department.

[covered in chocolate pudding] Can't you see I'm completely covered in pudding?!

Pudding! [chanting] Pudding! Pudding! Pudding! [picks up Endive and eats the pudding off her]

SHSgt. Hoagie

Officer Grinder, no! Put that citizen down! That's in order. [Officer Grinder sets Endive down] Sorry about that.

It's okay. I think he worked out the knot in my back. [falls flat on the ground with a clang]

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Chowder pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.