[noticing the Marzipan Police outside] Radda? Radda. Radda radda radda radda!
SHSgt. Hoagie
[gasps; takes out a megaphone] We've got a hostage situation! Everybody stay calm!
LMOfficer Loose Meat
A hostage situation?! [faints]
SHSgt. Hoagie
Don't let his size fool you. Your captor is extremely dangerous.
SHSgt. Hoagie
And crafty.
SHSgt. Hoagie
And vicious.
MCOfficer Monte Cristo
And dangerous.
SHSgt. Hoagie
I said, "And dangerous."
MCOfficer Monte Cristo
I'm just trying to help! Don't yell at me!
LMOfficer Loose Meat
Technically, you said, "extremely dangerous."
Sarge, Sarge, say he's stinky.
PJOfficer PB&J
And a meanie.
SLOfficer Snow Leopard
And a bad boy.
SLOfficer Snow Leopard
Yeah.
SHSgt. Hoagie
Wow. [to Shnitzel; through megaphone] Well, he's all that stuff. We've been trying to stop his trail of destruction for years. [next scene shows the city buildings crashing down and the citizens screaming] Don't worry. One of us will save you, in just a minute.
[The officers walk around in a circle with chairs in the middle]
[humming and clap rhythming "Pop Goes the Weasel"] And stop!
[The officers sit in chairs leaving the sarge standing]
SHSgt. Hoagie
No, no, no, do it again.
[Fivesday, 3:45 P.M.; Marzipan City Police Department]
SHSgt. Hoagie
[holding up two pairs of pants while in his underwear] Quick! I need everybody's attention. Stop whatever you're doing! I need to know which pair of pants go with this shirt I'm wearing. Seriously, you guys! I need help. I got a blind date in a few hours, and I want to look hot!
Hot date! [chanting] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
PJOfficer PB&J
Make sure you pat her on the back and burp her. I love it when my mommy does that.
COfficer Cheesesteak
Both pants look really nice. They both look really expensive. I wish I had nice things, but instead I have two cats, two expensive cats.
SLOfficer Snow Leopard
Well, if you ask me, a flat-front pant never goes out of style.
LMOfficer Loose Meat
Look, Sarge, a woman doesn't care about how a guy is dressed on her first date, only that he pays attention to her.
SHSgt. Hoagie
And how would you know that?
LMOfficer Loose Meat
Hello?! I'm a woman.
LMOfficer Loose Meat
[close up on her face] Yes!
PBOfficer Po-boy
Just remember, girls love it when you're a real jerk to 'em. Works for me every time. [sulking] That's a lie. I'm so lonely.
BCBeaver Cop
Beaver Cop says, you should arrest her and force her to go out with you. I'm Beaver Cop.
SHSgt. Hoagie
Look, this is getting me nowhere. I haven't had a date in twelve years, okay? Twelve! That's a long time! That's 84 in dog years!
[The telephone rings and Officer Sloppy Joe answers it]
Hello? Marzipan Police Department.
[covered in chocolate pudding] Can't you see I'm completely covered in pudding?!
Pudding! [chanting] Pudding! Pudding! Pudding! [picks up Endive and eats the pudding off her]
SHSgt. Hoagie
Officer Grinder, no! Put that citizen down! That's in order. [Officer Grinder sets Endive down] Sorry about that.
It's okay. I think he worked out the knot in my back. [falls flat on the ground with a clang]