Fat Cat quotes from Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers

Monty

You mustachioed hairball! I've got a score to settle with you!

Fat Cat

Settle a score?

Monty

Yeah, you curtain-clawing clown! You sunk my house!

Fat Cat

Oh, dear! I can't tell you how sorry I am. I assure you, if I had to do it over again, I'd SET FIRE to it!

Fat Cat

Do you see him? Do you see him?

[Keeping watch in the wrong direction] Nuh-uh! This fog is as thick as a drink.

Fat Cat

Unfortunately, Mole, so are you. This way, you feeble-sighted dolt!

Just think. A magic lamp could give you gold, silver...

...diamonds, rubies! The possibilities are endless! What would you wish for, Mole, if you could have anything in the whole world?

A candy bar?

Fat Cat

Thank goodness I'm here to rescue it from you pea-brained small-timed thinkers and your puny little wishes.

But it was going to be an extra-large candy bar.

Fat Cat

[Sigh] I bet mind readers only charge you half-price.

Fat Cat

[When he finds out Monty is a genie] NO! It can't be! A Rescue Ranger! I've been tricked! Thwarted! Bamboozled! I wish I had something to flatten you!

Monty

Granted. [Anvil beans Fat Cat on the head]

Fat Cat

Slave! I wish the Rescue Rangers... were turned to dust!

Monty

No! I can't help myself... I... granted. I can't look!

Dale

...Are we dust yet?

Fat Cat

WHAT?! WHAT WENT WRONG?!

Monty

[laughs] Sorry, Fat Cat! You're out of wishes! Only three to a customer! [disappears into the lamp]

Fat Cat

[shaking the lamp] COME OUT OF THERE SO I CAN THROTTLE YOU!

Fat Cat

Now, which way to the Crown Jewels?

But, boss, why don't we just go to the museum like everyone else?

Yeah! Why do we need a secret map to find the Crown Jewels?

Fat Cat

We're using a secret map because I know a little secret about the jewels.

A secret? Oh, goody! What is it?

Fat Cat

If I told you, it WOULDN'T BE A SECRET, NOW WOULD IT?!

Nobody here but us animals.

Fat Cat

Silence, you cowering canines! I've endured your constant yapping while we laid the tracks and excavated the walls, and now I WANT SOME QUIET!

Fat Cat

In order to give you your very own coat of fur, I'm going to have to shut you down for a moment. You don't mind, do you? [flips the switch]

Ehh? [shuts down]

Fat Cat

Now to find out what makes this clockwork cat tick! [pushes the cartridge out] A video game cartridge! Of course! With a different cartridge he could be very useful to me. [to his henchmen] Mepps! Wart! All of you! Go to the nearest toy store and get me another cartridge! A really violent one!

Oh, goodie! I like video games.

Fat Cat

And no playing in the store!

[Reading a cookbook] I don't get it. It says: "Separate two eggs" but it doesn't say how far apart to separate them.

Fat Cat

Let me see that, you pinheads! "Take one cup flour, two cups milk, one pinch salt-" Don't tell me you pinched the salt!

Of course not! Mepps pinched it.

Fat Cat

My million-dollar dinner gone down the drain!

Are you gonna eat that cherry?

Fat Cat

The Rescue Rangers! But.. But how did you learn about my brilliant plan?

Chip

It was easy. One: The world's largest pearl is your kind of target.

Gadget

Two: Our friends at the pier told us you bought some diving equipment just yesterday.

Monty

Three: We found your gang's footprints outside of here earlier. They must have been casing the joint.

Dale

And four:...Well... You haven't done anything crummy in a while so we figured that you were due.

Dale

Hey, put me down! Don't make me use my mental powers against you!

Ah, boss, be careful. He does have weird powers.

Yeah, he even read my mind!

Fat Cat

That proves he's a fake! You don't have a mind.

Fat Cat

I'll take care of the shark, YOU take care of the pearl.

Dale

But who will take care of me?

Chip

I will!

Fat Cat

Will you hurry up!

But I suffer from a fear of heights and bites.

But boss you said only idiots can do that stuff.

Fat Cat

Shut up!

Wow, boss! Did you know that if you put your ear to a seashell, you can hear the ocean inside?

Fat Cat

Of course I knew, you idiot! That's the whole point to my brilliant criminal master plan.

Wow! Where did they put the batteries?

Fat Cat

Shells don't use batteries. The ocean's sound they make is a mystery of nature like how you manage to operate without any brains.