Aldrin Klordane quotes from Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers

Aldrin Klordane

Idiots are, if nothing else, dependable.

Aldrin Klordane

[gives Fat Cat an envelope with airline tickets inside it to frame Donald Drake] All right, my lovely Fat Cat. Now it's time for you to make Drake's life extremely uncomfortable.

Call for you, Drake. Someone named, uh, Ruby. She sounds gorgeous.

Donald Drake

I don't know any Ruby. [picks up the phone] Drake here.

Klordane

[speaking in a female tone] Why, this is your dear old Ruby. [switches to his normal voice] You know, the one I've stolen and you've taken the rap for. [laughs] I'm calling to say thanks and so long, sucker!

Donald Drake

You slimebag! You won't get away with this!

Klordane

I have schedules to meet, Professor. Isn't it ready yet?

Professor Nimnul

Really, Mr. Klordane! You must be patient. True genius cannot be rushed. [Gets a snowball in the face] Hurried, hastened and sped up: yes. Anyway, it's ready for the ruby.

Klordane

At last, I can complete my devious creation: The Klordane Cannon-Laser 13.

Professor Nimnul

Yours? I, Professor Norton Nimnul, am the devious genius around here, and I have great plans for the Nimnul Cannon-Laser 13.

Klordane

[grabs Nimnul] I remind you, professor, that without my ruby your precious laser is just a big, overgrown flashlight.

Professor Nimnul

Big and overgrown? Yes, that's just what it is.

Professor Nimnul

How's that for an overgrown flashlight?

Klordane

Excellent, professor! But will it fly?

Professor Nimnul

Will it fly?! You just watch!

Monty

Fly? Now what's he talking about?

Dale

[shudders as everything is shaking] What's going on?!

Klordane

Yes! YES!

Professor Nimnul

Mwa-ha-ha-ha! They'll never laugh at Norton Nimnul again!

Donald Drake

Klordane! You rotten, low-down, scheming...

Klordane

Come, come, Drake. That's no way to treat an old friend. I just got into town from up north and brought you a little present. See? [takes out a bottle with gas and drops it] Oh, I dropped it.

Donald Drake

Hey, what's that? Somebody get in here! It's... [coughs] It's gas! [faints]

Klordane

Oh my, he fainted. I better get him some fresh air.

Professor Nimnul

The ruby appears to be in a... er... transitive state of location.

Klordane

Meaning?

Professor Nimnul

It's missing.

Klordane

Missing? [grabs Nimnul] MISSING?!

Professor Nimnul

Well, you see, there were these small Rodentia... uh... chipmunks, to be precise, and...

Klordane

Chipmunks? CHIPMUNKS?!

Donald Drake

[chuckles] You know, as a policeman I could file a missing ruby report for you.

Klordane

That won't be necessary. Professor Nimnul is going to either bring me that ruby, or I'll get an elephant gun!

Klordane

[grabs the mallet] Let the earthquake begin!

Professor Nimnul

Now you just wait a minute! You can't hog all the credit for this! I'm the one who built the laser! I'm the one who brought the ice! I'm the one who invented the soon-to-be-world-famous Nimnul Fruitquake!

Klordane

Nimnul Fruitquake?

Professor Nimnul

Uh, whatever. Anyway, I did all those things! Therefore, I should be the one who gets to start the earthquake!

Klordane

You know, I believe you're correct, Nimnul. You deserve the honor of triggering the earthquake.

Professor Nimnul

What? [Klordane grabs him and smashes against the mountain of gelatin] NOOOOO!

Professor Nimnul

Wait for me! I've got the ruby!

Aldrin Klordane

Oh, Professor, I wouldn't dream of leaving without you. Give me your hand. [Nimnul reaches out his hand and Klordane takes the ruby from him and shoves him away] Bye.