Monty quotes from Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers

Monty

Oh, cheer up, Gadget. There's one good thing about a landing like this. You can only do it once.

Gadget

No. I'm sorry, Monterey, but I think you should know that I'm extraordinary depressed. Can't you see? No matter what I do, I'll never be good as my father was. You need Geegaw Hackwrench, not Gadget.

Monty

Oh, gee, Gadget, buck up. It's not the end of the world, just, uh, the end of the plane.

Gadget

Dad never would have crushed it.

Chip

But that's the point, Gadget. Your father was a flyer, you're an inventor. And that's what we need now — an inventor.

Professor Nimnul

How's that for an overgrown flashlight?

Klordane

Excellent, professor! But will it fly?

Professor Nimnul

Will it fly?! You just watch!

Monty

Fly? Now what's he talking about?

Dale

[shudders as everything is shaking] What's going on?!

Klordane

Yes! YES!

Professor Nimnul

Mwa-ha-ha-ha! They'll never laugh at Norton Nimnul again!

Chip

Klordane may have mechanical marvels.

Gadget

He does?

Chip

He may have fiendish thingies.

Dale

He does! He does!

Chip

He may even have hundreds of cutthroat bloodthirsty thugs.

Monty

Yup! Them too.

Chip

But we've got something he doesn't have.

Gadget

Enough sense to get out of here?

Chip

Courage and our friendship binding us together! So follow me! We've got a date with a ruby!

Monty

He's bonkers in the conkers, ya know.

Dale

Yeah? But he is my friend.

Monty

Oh, well. You only live twice.

Monty

You mustachioed hairball! I've got a score to settle with you!

Fat Cat

Settle a score?

Monty

Yeah, you curtain-clawing clown! You sunk my house!

Fat Cat

Oh, dear! I can't tell you how sorry I am. I assure you, if I had to do it over again, I'd SET FIRE to it!

Monty

Right, Gadget, we're almost there! Hit the brakes!

Gadget

Golly! No one said anything about stopping.

Monty

He's right, mates!

Gadget

Congratulations, guys!

Chip

Gosh, thanks.

Monty

And now I know what I want. I want CHEESE!

It shall be done.

Monty

No wait-wait-wait-wait! I mean, LOTS of CHEESE!

Well, of course.

Monty

I mean, a GREAT HEAPING BONDER PILE of CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!

Is that all? Granted.

Gadget

Golly! It's gonna take a lot of crackers to get through this.

Monty

You know, I always thought I could never get enough of cheese. And I HAVEN'T!

Monty

Now, pally, I said not to touch me lamp until I'M done with it.

Gadget

Have it your way, Mr. Monterey Jack! Maybe your next wish oughta be for some new friends!

Fat Cat

[When he finds out Monty is a genie] NO! It can't be! A Rescue Ranger! I've been tricked! Thwarted! Bamboozled! I wish I had something to flatten you!

Monty

Granted. [Anvil beans Fat Cat on the head]

Fat Cat

Slave! I wish the Rescue Rangers... were turned to dust!

Monty

No! I can't help myself... I... granted. I can't look!

Dale

...Are we dust yet?

Fat Cat

WHAT?! WHAT WENT WRONG?!

Monty

[laughs] Sorry, Fat Cat! You're out of wishes! Only three to a customer! [disappears into the lamp]

Fat Cat

[shaking the lamp] COME OUT OF THERE SO I CAN THROTTLE YOU!

Dale

[Between gasps] How come I always get the tough jobs?

Monty

Just be thankful "Appliances" are at the front of the book, mate.

Monty

How do you think old Cosgrove got that contraption to work so fast?

Gadget

Just lucky, I guess.

Chip

You've gotta stop all this snacking, Monterey!

Dale

Yeah! We could all have been caught on account of you!

Monty

[shaking salt over his snacks] Ah, you're exaggerating. I'm as fit as I ever was.

Chip

Uh-huh.

Monty

You mates are mistaking me muscularity for fat.

Uh-huh.

Chip

What is it, Zipper? What did you see? [Zipper inflates himself]

Dale

A beach ball? [Zipper flails angrily around]

Monty

A baseball with claws. [Zipper meows]

Gadget

Fat Cat!

Did those Ranger guys catch the crooks?

Captain Kernel

Hardly. The Rescue guys are the crooks!

What?!

You're kidding.

I knew you couldn't trust 'em! Where'd they stash the goods?

Yeah! I mean, they couldn't have eat them all.

I don't know. [points to Monty] This one looks like he put away a few.

Monty

[pushes Jeebie's finger away] Keep your hairy meathooks off of me!