Frasier Crane quotes from Cheers

Sam

Hey, Cliffy. How ya doin'?

Cliff

Not well, Sam. Boy am I mad. I've never been this upset! Three words, fellas. Three words... "Dames is grief"!

Norm

Fighting with ma, huh?

Cliff

Oh and how. Seems like that's all we do anymore. You know, you'd think it'd be a perfect set-up: a mother and a grown son living in a one-bedroom apartment. But, no. Reality check, gentlemen! Life is not like the movies, I guess, huh.

Sam

I'm sure it'll all blow over, Cliffy.

Cliff

Oh, no way, Sammy; not this time. I tell you that broad's pushed me too hard - too hard, I tell ya! And it's about time I started pushin' back. She's just gone and created a monster, that's all. But this monster is not gonna lie in some tomb of ice, no siree. My anger will melt that ice so that I might rise up and... and crush the Tokyo of the buildings there beneath the talons of my animosity...

Frasier

[interrupts] Cliff. Cliff. We all appreciate how hard you're working on this metaphor, but we get the idea.

Sam

The woman I choose is gonna feel very special. You know, like when a great chef picks the perfect pork chop.

Frasier

[sarcastically] That's beautiful, Sam.

Frasier

Hello, Diane.

Diane

Hello Frasier, you're looking well!

Frasier

I'm feeling well! I'm happily married with a bright young son and a successful practice. But, you know, what's most important, and I just realized it this moment, is that, I'm over you.

Diane

I'm glad.

Frasier

There is absolutely nothing here anymore. I'm over you. You could be a total stranger for all I'm feeling. You could be ugly and gnarled and toothless, without that shining hair, those dancing eyes and these graceful, subtle limbs. Thank God I'm free.

Diane

Frasier, you're hurting me!

Frasier

Well, you never hurt me, did you?!

Sam

I keep askin' myself: what is the point to life?

Woody

Whew. That's a tough question.

Cliff

Ehh. Well, I got the answer.

Frasier

Somehow I knew you would.

Cliff

Comfortable shoes.

Frasier

Shoes?

Cliff

Yeah. If you're not wearin' comfortable shoes, life is just chaos. I mean the greatest accomplishments in history have been made by men wearin' accommodating shoes. Uh, Frasier, tell me, who do you think is the greatest thinker in all mankind?

Frasier

I don't know, uh... Aristotle.

Cliff

There you go: sandals. Perhaps the most comfortable shoe there is. You hardly even know you have them on. I mean Confucius: thongs. Einstein: loose loafers.