Sam Malone quotes from Cheers

Sam

The woman I choose is gonna feel very special. You know, like when a great chef picks the perfect pork chop.

Frasier

[sarcastically] That's beautiful, Sam.

Sam

You know I think you should go home, wake Vera, and do whatever comes naturally.

Norm

Wake her up so she can watch me eat a bucket of buffalo wings?

Sam

Well, at least I didn't fly across the country to make an ass out of myself.

Diane

Why bother when you do it so brilliantly right here?

Sam

I keep askin' myself: what is the point to life?

Woody

Whew. That's a tough question.

Cliff

Ehh. Well, I got the answer.

Frasier

Somehow I knew you would.

Cliff

Comfortable shoes.

Frasier

Shoes?

Cliff

Yeah. If you're not wearin' comfortable shoes, life is just chaos. I mean the greatest accomplishments in history have been made by men wearin' accommodating shoes. Uh, Frasier, tell me, who do you think is the greatest thinker in all mankind?

Frasier

I don't know, uh... Aristotle.

Cliff

There you go: sandals. Perhaps the most comfortable shoe there is. You hardly even know you have them on. I mean Confucius: thongs. Einstein: loose loafers.

Norm

Sammy, can I let you in on a little secret?

Sam

Sure.

Norm

I knew you'd come back.

Sam

You did?

Norm

You can never be unfaithful to your one true love. You always come back to her.

Sam

Who is that?

Norm

Think about it, Sam.

Sam

Boy, I tell ya, I'm the luckiest son of a bitch on earth. [At he walks back, he hears a man come down the steps and knock on the door.] Sorry, we're closed.