Paige Matthews quotes from Charmed

Paige

That's actually the most fun I've seen Phoebe have since Cole died.

Leo

Which time?

Who are you people?

Paige

Witch.

Leo

Angel.

Phoebe

Mermaid.

Paige

Don't you mean Witch?

Leo

Will you slow down on this magic kick. Look at your hair, it's still red from the potion you blew up last night.

Paige

Do you have any idea how much this would cost in the salon?

Cole

Wait, before you say anything.

Paige

Not to say, do, because I'm about to orb your family jewels far, far away.

Cole

Yeah, that would hurt.

Phoebe

You are holding me hostage!

Paige

Yep looks like it.

Phoebe

Look I am not a common goldfish. I cannot ignore the call of the sea!

Paige

Well the call of the common bathtub is just gonna have to do.

Piper

Shh! Pheobe's doing a news report in there!

Paige

In the bathroom?

Paige

Oh, my goodness, don't tell me you're already interviewing nannies.

Grams

Paige. You're even more beautiful than I imagined.

Paige

And you are?

Grams

Why, I'm your Grams of course. Come here.

Paige

No offense, but, uh, aren't you supposed to be dead?

Grams

Oh, I'm over that.

Paige

Can someone please tell me how I got in a coffin?

Grams

You were dead, dear. But, on the bright side, at least now we have something in common.

Piper

Maybe the baby thought that fireworks were prettier than demon guts.

Paige

Abracadabra!

Phoebe

Nice job!

Piper

You did all that with abracadabra?

Paige

Nah, I used a spell. I just always wanted to say that

Paige

Having sex.

Piper

Oh!

Paige

See this is why I don't want to talk to you about this, it's weird talking to a pregnant lady about sex anyway.

Piper

Well, Paige, how do you think I got pregnant.

Paige

Urgh, I don't want to know that either.

Paige

I think I'm so busy protecting this big ol' secret of ours I guess I can't really let my guard down. How'd you do it?

Piper

Marry an angel.

Paige

Well, maybe try a different yoga instructor.

Piper

It wasn't the instructor, it was all those women showing off their sonogram pictures. And it was just working on my last nerve. Like 'look it's Jasper's first photo and it's gonna go on the fridge in a magnetic frame that says Jasper's first photo!'

Leo

Okay, I thought prenatal yoga was supposed to help you relax.

Paige

I'm just a big, dumb, fat unemployed loser.

Piper

No, Paige, you're a big, fat, dumb, unemployed loser who saves the world.

Paige

Uh gross, what are you guys watching? Is that some horror movie?

Piper

The Joys of Home Birthing. Strangely I'm not feeling the joy.