Phoebe Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Paige

Do you think we should put some snacks in the cage?

Phoebe

Like what, a wildebeast?

Piper

Please don't say beast.

Paige

No, I'm just saying we don't know how long we're gonna be in here. What if I get hungry?

Piper

Well, then we'll have Leo throw us Whitelighter. Don't worry about it.

Paige

Oh, what happened?

You attacked us.

Phoebe

Oh, really? Then how come I'm the one with the headache?

We were forced to defend ourselves.

Phoebe

What are we doing here?

Paige

Well, he said for us to meet him here. He needed to talk to us about something important.

Phoebe

Yeah, but Paige it's a fire.

Paige

So?

Phoebe

So we don't do fires. Firemen do fires. We do fireballs

Phoebe

Wait. Are you saying that you've been living in our house as an Avatar, and you haven't told us?

Leo

Look, I'm the same old Leo.

Piper

Only not. Is this how you went from psycho crazy guy to happy-happy guy? Because you became an Avatar?

Paige

I guess so.

Leo

What about Zankou?

Piper

I think I know how to find him.

Phoebe

Will you give me a lift? I wanna make sure I get my last column in.

Paige

Last column?

Phoebe

Well yeah. How much advice can a world with no conflict need? I may be out of the job.

Paige

You okay with that?

Phoebe

I've got better things to look forward to.

Elise

Are you leaving us?

Phoebe

I'm sorry?

Elise

The grass is greener. Kind of a goodbye column, isn't it?

Phoebe

No. Not necessarily.

Elise

Phoebe, I've been doing this a long time, I know how to read between the lines. Come on, talk to me.

Phoebe

Okay, um... It's just that... Things change. You know what I mean? Life changes.

Elise

Don't you like a job anymore?

Phoebe

Of course I do, Elise. I love my job, you know that.

Elise

But?

Phoebe

But... Like I said, things change. For the better thou. You'll see.

Elise

No, I don't understand.

Phoebe

Um, okay. Have you ever gone through a period in your life, where all you can think about, all you wanna do, is just get away from it?

Elise

When I was married to my ex. James L. Connors. What a smug.

Phoebe

Okay, and you were able to move on from him, right? Rebuild your life? Even through at the time you probably felt you couldn't?

Elise

Yeah.

Phoebe

Well, it's the same thing. That's what I'm talking about. One door closes and another one opens. Sometimes you just have to take that faith.

Elise

Phoebe, I don't...

Phoebe

I promise you Elise. This is gonna be great, for everyone. Otherwise, I won't be doing it.

Elise

Do what?

Phoebe

I gotta go.

Elise

No. Wait. But you...

Phoebe

Thank you, Elise. Thank you for everything you've done for me. Goodbye, all of my dear beautiful friends! I will see you tomorrow when a bright new sunshining day begins. Michelle, you are the best. Donald! Donald, I gotta tell you... you... you are the man! Greg, I... you know, we never liked each other, didn't we? Oh... that will all change! Until tomorrow, everyone!

Listen, odds are, the Count, he's possessed my body right? And until he's evicted, I got no where to go. Only you can get out... into your body. Even though I'm into your body, I still can't get out.

Phoebe

I'll come back for you.

And listen, if he puts up to big of a fight, all right, you just vanquish my sorry ass! I don't care.

Phoebe

Okay!

But only as a last resort.

Phoebe

Okay!

Phoebe

I'm feeling a little...

Piper

Bummed? Yeah, I know. Nina, or Katya I'm assuming, said that it was the first wave of sorrow from the box.

Hey, this is Chris? My gosh, he's so small... Hey little brother. Is this before or after he swallowed the marble?

Piper

Marble? What marble?

Phoebe

Easy on the future information.

Of course, you're right.

Piper

No, but really...what marble?

Piper

I'm very sorry you went back to college.

Phoebe

I know, but it's really helping me with my column. And that has absolutely nothing to do with why Wyatt is creating demons.

Piper

He's not creating demons!

Phoebe

Let's see, maybe it's a reaction to preschool... Some kind of Freudian transference or something?

Piper

Mumbo-Jumbo!

Leo

I'm his father. He is not gonna hurt me.

Phoebe

No? Ever read Hamlet?

Leo

Hamlet kills his stepfather.

Phoebe

Close enough. Freud says that acording to..

Piper

(exasperated with psychology-Phoebe) Woman, canned it!!

Phoebe

Those demons do have a way of keeping you warm at night.

Piper

Yeah, but that's only because they have fireballs.

Piper

Wasn't there a confidence spell in the Book of Shadows?

Phoebe

Yeah. Remember, we cast it on that waiter at Quake?

Piper

Wow. Quake. That was a long time ago.

Piper

Last year you had a premonition that you would have a daughter which means that this year you have to have a little sex and get pregnant. And since Dex, which coincidentally rhymes with sex, could be the father!

Phoebe

GOD!

Piper

They think I'm somebody else.

Phoebe

Well, you are somebody else.

Piper

I know, but I'm not a fugitive. That's not the alias that I picked, at least not intentionally.