[A vampire knocks Buffy to the ground. Cut to Andrew in his "study."]
Ouch! My goodness! Things look bad for the Slayer, don't they? She didn't see that second vampire, concealed by cover of darkness, ready--
[There's a knock at the door, which Andrew ignores.]
... ready to attack and make her his own vampirical spawn.
[Cut to the bathroom, where Andrew sits on the closed toilet, trying to continue his narration.]
Let's rejoin them now to see--
[Suddenly, Anya barges in.]
For God's sakes, Andrew! You've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?
Entertaining and educating.
Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?
It's a full house. I think it's a good time to do some introductions, don't you, gentle viewers?
...
[bright fantasy shot, clear, emotional voice] You've already met Buffy. She's beautiful, with a lion's heart and the face of an angel. She's never afraid because she knows her side will always win. [Spike enters shot, somehow shirtless] Buffy and Spike have some kind of history. You can feel the heat between them although, technically as a vampire, he's room-temperature. [Anya enters shot, eating grapes] Anya. A feisty waif with a fiery temper and a vulnerable heart that she hides even from herself. [pan to unnamed Potential Slayer eating cereal] This lovely girl... [uncertain - back to normal voice] I don't remember her name.
There something you can see going on between Principal Wood and Spike ... sexual tension you could cut with a knife!
[Andrew is filming Spike smoking a cigarette. We see Spike through the camera]
Hey, I told you get that thing out of my face! Now get out of here before I tear your head off!
Spike, the light was behind you.
Oh sorry. [Takes a step forward] Hey, I told you to get that...
Maybe you're right. Maybe everything is fine.
Everything's terrible. Total catastrophe.
Have you seen the new library? There's nothing but computers. There's not a book to be seen. I - I don't know where to begin, Buffy. I mean, who do we speak to?
Uh, that would - that would be me. Hi. I'm Robin Wood.
Oh, sorry. Rupert Giles. Sorry. Buffy tells me you're something of a freelance demon fighter. [Robin closes door] Oh, yes, yes. I, um, I'm relieved. We're running dangerously low on allies.
So, we didn't stop it, then?
Uh, no, the seers at the coven are certain the First is continuing to gather its forces. I'm afraid war is inevitable. [regarding the library] So, we should go before the school board.
So, did you bring back any Potentials?
Um, rea-- no. Actually, m-my, uh, my trip is about something else. It's–it's, um, regarding Spike.
I told you my concerns when you recklessly chose to remove the chip from his head.
Well, uh, it's a... long story.
The military put a chip in Spike's head so he couldn't hurt anyone.
And that would be the abridged version.
But he wouldn't hurt anyone anymore because he has a soul now.
Unless the First triggers him again.
No, the trigger's a post-hypnotic thing. The First put it in his head. It was... made him... He was killing again.
So, he has a trigger, a soul, and a chip?
It was killing him, Giles!
No, the chip. The trigger's not active anymore.
Because the military gave him a soul?
[Giles tries to think an adequate response. Buffy glares at Robin, who gestures in surrender.]
So, Spike's trigger's been active this entire time?
How can Buffy take this for granted? I mean, he lives in our house, we train with him.
Don't waste your time down that road. Spike's got some sort of "Get Out of Jail Free" card that doesn't apply to the rest of us. I mean, he could slaughter a hundred frat boys, and... [everyone shoots a look at Anya] Forgiveness makes us human, blah-dee-blah-blah-blah.
Whatcha wanna do to her, vamp? Huh? Somthin' like this? [punches Spike]
(stands) Nice punch you got there. Lemme guess. Leather pants, nice right cross, doe eyes, holier-than-thou glower...you must be Faith.
[shrugs and grins] Oh, goodie. I'm famous.
Told you were coming. Bit of a misunderstanding here. I'm--
Spike. [nods] Yeah, we've met before.
We have? I don't think we-- [Faith kicks Spike in the torso] Bloody hell! What're you doing? I'm on your side.
Yeah? Maybe you haven't heard. I've reformed. [punches Spike]
So have I. [punches Faith] I reformed way before you did. [Faith punches Spike] Stop... [punches Faith] hitting... [punches Faith again] me! We're on the same side.
Please. You think I'm stupid?
You were attacking that girl. [punches Spike]
[Someone punches Faith in the face, knocking her down. Pan over to show it's Buffy.]
[innocently] Sorry, Faith. I didn't realize that was you.
It's all right, B. Luckily, you still punch like you used to.
[to Buffy] You're protecting vampires? Are you the bad slayer now? Am I the good slayer now?
He's with me. He has a soul.
He fights on my side. Which is more than I can say for some of us.
Angel's dull as a table lamp! And we have very different coloring.
Yeah, well if he's so good, what's he doing chasing down defenseless--
[The young woman that Spike was chasing stands up, growls, and attacks Faith, knocking her down.]
That's one of the bad guys.
You should make 'em wear a sign.
"Drink of this, for it is my blood." You know, I always loved the story of the Last Supper. The body and blood of Christ becoming rich, red wine. I recall, as a boy, though, I couldn't help but think: what would happen if you were at the Last Supper, and you ordered the white? A nice oaky Chardonnay or White Zin. I mean, would he make that out of his lymph or some-all? Never did bring it up. Suppose there was a reason why I never spent too long in one parish. Just looking for answers. Just looking for the Lord in the wrong damn places. Then you showed me the light.
I've been through more battles with Buffy than you all can ever imagine. She's stopped everything that's ever come up against her. [Buffy and Faith walk in] She's laid down her life --- literally --- to protect the people around her. This girl has died two times, and she's still standing. You're scared? That's smart. You got questions? You should. But you doubt her motives, you think Buffy's all about the kill, then you take the little bus to battle... I've seen her heart, and this time, not literally. And I'm telling you, right now, she cares more about your lives than you will ever know. You gotta trust her. She's earned it.
Damn. I never knew you were that cool.
Well, you always were a little slow.
