Buffy the Vampire Slayer · Season 5
I need to know a little bit more about the Slayer, and about the both of you. Your relationship, whatever you can tell me.
O-o-our relationship?
We're friends.
Good friends.
Girlfriends, actually.
Yes, we're girlfriends.
We're in love. We're... lovers. [puts hand on Tara's knee] We're lesbian, gay-type lovers.
I meant your relationship with the Slayer.
[hastily] Um, just good friends. [Willow takes her hand off Tara's knee.]
Remember,-
Yeah, yeah. "Hurt them and I'll stake you good and proper". Sing me a new one sometime. That one's getting old.
I've had a lot of people talking at me the last few days. Everyone just lining up to tell me how unimportant I am. And I've finally figured out why. Power. I have it. They don't. This bothers them. Glory ... came to my home today.
[alarmed] Buffy, are you-
Just to talk. She told me I'm a bug, I'm a flea, she could squash me in a second. Only she didn't. She came into my home, and we talked. We had what in her warped brain probably passes for a civilized conversation. Why? Because she needs something from me. Because I have power over her. You guys didn't come all the way from England to determine whether or not I was good enough to be let back in. You came to beg me to let you back in. To give your jobs, your lives some semblance of meaning.
...
You're Watchers. Without a Slayer, you're pretty much just watchin' Masterpiece Theater. You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have except maybe publish it in the Everyone Thinks We're Insane-O's Home Journal. So here's how it's gonna work. You're gonna tell me everything you know. Then you're gonna go away. You'll contact me if and when you have any further information about Glory. The magic shop will remain open. Mr. Giles will stay here as my official Watcher, reinstated at full salary...
[coughing] Retroactive.
Just tell me what kind of demon I'm fighting.
Well, that's the thing, you see. Glory isn't a demon.
What is she?
She's a god.
Oh.
Well, you know what they say, the bigger they are-
The faster they stomp you into nothing.
I just think you're freakin' out 'cause you have to fight someone prettier than you. That is the case, right?
Glory is evil. And powerful. And in no way prettier than me.
[Spike is sitting on a coffin, painting his nails when Buffy comes in]
Morning sunshine, if you've come round for eggs and sausages, afraid I'm fresh out.
[Buffy pulls the top of the coffin from under him]
Careful, these are wet.
Are you okay? Did she hurt you?
Why do you care?
Because I love you, you're my sister.
No I'm not.
Yes you are. [holds Dawn's hand] It's blood, Summers blood, it's just like mine. It doesn't matter where you came from, or how you got here, you are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't.
...
I have to get you back home though, Mom's freaking out.
Oh, is she mad about the whole fire thing?
I think you sort of have a "Get out of jail free" card on account of big love and trauma.
Really? Okay, good. Do you think she'd raise my allowance?
Don't push it.
How was school today?
The usual, big square building filled with boredom and despair.
Just how I remember it.
The point is, I work hard for that money.
And you're saying I didn't?
You stole it.
And you're making it into very hard work!
Spike, finish the story you were telling my little sister.
Right, so I knew the little girl was in the coal bin so I ripped it open very violently... and gave her to a nice family where they were never ever mean to her and didn't lock her in a coal bin.
What... is this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask? Is this a date?
A d-Please! A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean... do you want it to be?
Spike, the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious
Who is-? Oh wait, I get it. Our little sex game was just the beginning, now you've gone and picked up some cheap queen of the damned to dress up like your precious Drudzilla.
Harm-
You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking, because my answer is the same as always. No threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl, or Charlize Theron.
Harm, you moron, this is Drusilla.
You have got some nerve coming back here after breaking my Boo-Boo's heart.
[Mouths to Spike] Boo-Boo?
Oh, what...Ohh! Gaaah! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why... do you bitches torture me?
Which question do you want me to answer first?
You can't be responsible for what Spike thinks or feels.
Well, aren't I responsible? I mean, something about me had to make him feel that, right? Something that made him say, "Woof! That's the one for me!"
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
