[Giles is singing and playing "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who at an espresso bar. Anya, Willow, Xander and Tara watch from the door, amazed. All three girls are riveted; Willow's and Anya's mouths are hanging open.]
Um, could we go back to the haunted house? Cause, this is creeping me out.
[sarcastic.] Sure. Every day the earth rotates backward and the skies turn orange.
Now I remember why I used to have such a crush on him.
His voice is... pleasant.
Oh, come on, he is kinda sexy.
I'm fighting total mental breakdown here, Will. No more fueling the fire, please.
So with Buffy and Riley having... you know, acts of nakedness 'round the clock lately maybe they set something free, like a big, bursting poltergasm.
When you called to Buffy and Riley didn't cry out or respond in any way.
No, they're probably dead.
Unless they're too busy doing it to answer.
You know, for a god of acoustic rock you're... kind of naive.
I didn't think you meant... In the midst of all that? Do you really think they were keeping it up?
[long awkward pause]
Oh, for different phrasing.
I believe we're dealing with a kind of poltergeist. A whole cluster of them, in fact, born out of intense adolescent emotion and sexual energy.
Both of which were totally pent up during Mrs. Holt's reign of repression.
So with Buffy and Riley having... you know, acts of nakedness 'round the clock lately, maybe they set something free. Like a big, bursting poltergasm.
I can't believe it really happened.
I just had no idea. It's so creepy. He was really singing?
I'd say it was more like crooning. If we grow old together, remind me to skip the midlife crisis.
Come on, you have to admit, it was kind of sexy.
Please stop saying that. I'm willing to offer cash incentives.
We're just lucky no one got injured. No thanks to us.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
He's right, Will. If Riley and I hadn't, gotten so wrapped up in each other, none of this would have happened.
My girlfriend, mistress of the learning plateau.
Really, it wasn't your fault. You were under the influence of powerful magicks.
We were like zombies. I had no control over myself at all.
It must have been horrible.
Zippo. Patrol has been totally uneventful. My kill count's way down.
[to Tara] She means that there's been less bad guy activity.
And we know what that often indicates.
Buffy doesn't make her quota. Bad Slayer!
Oz isn't a Demon. Something happened to him that wasn't his fault. I never knew you were such a bigot!
I'm not. I'm just saying it's a little strange to date someone who tries to eat you once a month!
[Speaking of Oz's return] It's complicated...because of Tara.
You mean Tara has a crush on Oz? No... [suddenly realizes Willow is in love with Tara] Oh!!
...
[almost babbling with the shock of Willow's revelation] Well, there you go! I mean, you know, you have to... follow your heart, Will. And that's what's important, Will.
Why do you keep saying my name like that?
[overly insistent] What? No, Will! [pauses, then gathers her emotions] No. No, absolutely no to that question. I'm glad you told me.
...
I don't want to hurt anyone, Buffy.
No matter what, somebody's going to get hurt. And the important thing is, you just have to be honest or it's going to be a lot worse.
The thing about the Slayer is she is a whiny little thing, but when it comes to fighting she does have a slight tendency to win.
No candles? I brought one. It's... extra flamey. [beat] Tara, I have to tell you...
No, I-I understand. You have to be with the person you l-love. [beat]
[looks a bit hurt, then smiles] I am.
I feel horrible about everything I put you through. A-and I'm gonna make it up to you. [smiles] Starting right now.
[Willow nods and smiles]
[Tara blows the candle out]
I hope everybody else is okay. It was better to split up, right? I mean, we're just too findable in a big clump.
It was better. Besides, I think it's mostly me the Initiative wants now. [sighs]
Probably. So what should we do?
Oh, we'll be safe for tonight at least. The campus is still blacked out, so... that ought to slow the Initiative down. I'll figure out my next move tomorrow.
Quite a day, huh? You woke up to a big bowl of Wheaties. Now you're a fugitive.
I don't know. I'm sorry it ended that way, but I am glad it's done. I'm glad I know where I stand. Finally. I was wrong about Oz. I was wrong a bigot.
No, you weren't. You were thrown. You found out that Willow was in... kind of an unconventional relationship, and it gave you a momentary wiggins. It happens.
Still... I was in a totally black and white space, people versus monsters, and it ain't like that. Especially when it comes to love.
I have to tell you some stuff. About my past. And it's not all stuff that you're gonna like.
You can tell me anything.
I think so. I think I can.
This thing looks pretty good, considering you drove it overseas.
Well, it broke down outside of Mexico, and I traded my bass to have it fixed and garaged. I shouldn't have come back now. I just thought I'd changed.
You have changed. You stopped the wolf from coming out. I saw it.
But I couldn't look at you. I mean, it turns out... the one thing that brings it out of me is you. Which falls under the heading of ironic in my book.
It was my fault. I upset you.
Well, so we're safe then, 'cause you'll never do that again. But you're happy?
I am. I can't explain it.
It may be safer for both of us if you don't.
I missed you, Oz. I wrote you so many letters. But I didn't have any place to send them, you know? I couldn't live like that.
It was stupid to think that you'd just be... waiting.
I was waiting. I feel like some part of me will always be waiting for you. Like, if I'm old and blue-haired and I turn the corner in Istanbul, and there you are, I won't be surprised. Because... you're with me, you know?
I know. But now is not that time, I guess.
No. What are you gonna do?
I think I better take off.
[singing] If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
Well I must be traveling on now
There's too many places I've got to see
And if I stay here with you, girl
Things just couldn't be the same
'Cause I'm as free as bird now--
[Giles suddenly shrieks as he realizes Spike is standing in the room.]
You know, for someone who's got "Watcher" on his resume', you might want to cast an eye to the front door every now and again.
Crack a government encrypted code on my laptop? Easy as really difficult pie.
You're not exactly the wiz these days either. God, I'm never going to get paid.
[happily] Now that was fun!
[scoffs] Easier than I'd thought it'd be, too.
[scoffs] Feel it in my bones. I call it...the Yoko Factor. [off Adam's look] Don't tell me you've never heard of The Beatles?
I have. [stands] I like Helter Skelter
What a surprise. The point is, they were once a real powerful group. It's not a stretch to say they ruled the world. And when they broke up everyone blamed Yoko, but the fact is the group split itself apart, she just happened to be there. You know how it is with kids. They go off to college, they grow apart. Way of the world.
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