Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?
Bad hair on top of that outfit?
To love someone who used to love you.
Well, you've been around since Columbus. You are bound to pile up a few exes. You're older than him, right? Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes.
[about Angel] I made him. There was a time when we shared everything, wasn't there, Angelus? You had a chance to come home, to rule with me in the Master's court for 1,000 years. But you threw that away because of her. You love someone who hates us. You're sick, and you'll always be sick. And you'll always remember what it was like to watch her die. You don't think I came alone, do you?
[chuckles] Scary. Scarier. Oh, don't worry. Bullets can't kill vampires. They can hurt them like hell, but...
So many body parts, so few bullets. [chuckles] Let's begin with the kneecaps. No fun dancing without them. [groans] Close, but no heart. [groans]
We need to distract her... fast.
Buffy, it wasn't Angel who attacked your mom, it was Darla!
Come on, Buffy. Take it like a man. [Angel stabs and kills Darla] Angel?
Ah, the post-fumigation party.
Okay, so what's the difference between this and the pre-fumigation party?
Much hardier cockroaches.
Nah. It's weird, though. In his way, I feel like he's still watching me.
Well, in a way he sort of is. In the way of that he's right over there.
I don't need to watch, because I'm not threatened. I'm just going to look this way.
I just wanted to see if you were okay... your mother.
[chuckles] If I can go a little while without getting shot or stabbed, I'll be alright. Look, this can't...
Ever be anything. I know. For one thing, you're, like, 224 years older than I am.
I just gotta... I gotta walk away from this.
I know. Me, too. One of us has to go here.
Well, as long as they're not kissing. [chuckles]
Painful. I know. See you around?
Are we over-reacting? He's in a computer, what can he do?
You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How about mess up all the medical equipment in the world?
Randomize traffic signals.
Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles.
Destroy the world's economy.
I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing.
Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much?
Computers don't smell, Rupert.
I know. Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower, or a a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences long forgotten. Books smell musty and-and-and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer is a - it, uh, it has no no texture, no-no context. It's-it's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then-then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um, smelly.
Oh, I, uh, I haven't gone through the new arrivals. Uh, put it in-in that pile.
Oh. Thanks, Dave. Willow pile.
Uh, uh, when I've examined it, you can, uh, uh, skim it.
Scan it. Rupert, that's "scan it."
Oh, I know our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century, with three whole years to spare.
Ms. Calendar, I'm sure your computer science class is fascinating, but I happen to believe that one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the, um, idiot box.
That's TV. The idiot box is TV. This is the good box.
Well, I still prefer a good book.
FFritz
The printed page is obsolete. Information isn't bound up anymore. It's an entity. The only reality is virtual. If you're not jacked in, you're not alive.
Thank you, Fritz, for making us all sound like crazy people. Fritz-Fritz comes on a little strong, but he does have a point. You know, for the last two years, more e-mail was sent than regular mail.
More digitized information went across phone lines than conversations.
Yeah, well, that is a fact that I regard with genuine horror.
I'll bet it is. All right, guys, let's wrap it up for today.
I've just got a few more. I'll hang for a bit.
Xander, you want to stay and help me?
[chuckles] Are you kidding?
Yes. It was a joke I made up.
[chuckles] Willow, I love you, but bye.
I-I'm just going to stay and clean up a little. I'll, uh, I'll be back in the Middle Ages.
[keyboard clacking and computer beeping]
Well, look who's here. Welcome to my world. You scared?
I'm remaining calm, thank you. I just wanted to, uh, return this. I found it among the new books and naturally, I though of you.
Uh, well, I'll-I'll see you anon.
Can't get out of here fast enough, can you?
Truthfully, I'm even less anxious to be around computers than I used to be.
Well, it was your book that started all the trouble, not a computer.
Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much?
Computers don't smell, Rupert.
I know. Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower or a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences long forgotten. Books smell musty and-and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer is-is... it has no-no texture, no-no context. It's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible. It should be, um... smelly.
Well, you really are an old-fashioned boy, aren't you?
Well, I-I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear.
That's not where I dangle it.
We going to go to the Bronze tonight, we three?
Yeah. Willow, fun? Remember fun? That thing where you smile?
Oh, I'm sorry, guys. I'm just thinking about...
Malcolm, Moloch, whatever he's called. The one boy that's really liked me, and he's a demon robot. What does that say about me?
It doesn't say anything about you.
I mean, I thought I was really falling...
Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I've moved here turned out to be a vampire.
Right. And the teacher I had a crush on: giant praying mantis.
Yeah, it's life on the Hellmouth.
Let's face it. None of us are ever going to have a happy, normal relationship.
[They laugh, but it quickly stops as they look uneasy]
[Marc has tricked Giles into getting into a craftily disguised guillotine.]
Shouldn't it be aimed at my neck?
MMarc
No, no this way your scalp gets sliced off and your brains just come pouring out.
What exactly is the trick?
What about the whole "it's a demon" theory?
I'm looking into that, but my investigation is somewhat... hampered by our life in the theater.
Uh, priority check, Giles? (holding up her hands) Talent show, murder.
Yeah, we can't do the talent show, it's unthinkable. I'm not able to think it!
Principal Snyder is watching us all very closely. Now, if he chooses, he can make all our lives extremely difficult. A Slayer cannot afford that! We will find this murderer, but in the meantime... the show must go on.
