“The Puppet Show” quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Giles

He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberate attempt to minimize said contact, but he would have none of it.

Principal Snyder

My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for all that touchy-feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You're in my world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time.

[about his present condition] Lets just say there was me, there was a really mean demon, there was a curse, and the next thing I know, I'm not me any more. I'm sitting on some guy's knee, with his hand up my shirt.

Giles

Shouldn't it be aimed at my neck?

No, no this way your scalp gets sliced off and your brains just come pouring out.

Giles

What exactly is the trick?

What trick?

Buffy

What about the whole "it's a demon" theory?

Giles

I'm looking into that, but my investigation is somewhat... hampered by our life in the theater.

Buffy

Uh, priority check, Giles? (holding up her hands) Talent show, murder.

Xander

Yeah, we can't do the talent show, it's unthinkable. I'm not able to think it!

Giles

Principal Snyder is watching us all very closely. Now, if he chooses, he can make all our lives extremely difficult. A Slayer cannot afford that! We will find this murderer, but in the meantime... the show must go on.

Buffy

This is so unfair.

Willow

O ruler of my country, Oedipus, you see our company around the altar, and I, the Priest of Zeus.

Xander

Ha, ha! They prophesize that I should kill my father, but he is dead and hidden deep in the soil. But surely I must fear my mother's bed.

Buffy

O Oedipus, Oedipus, unhappy Oedipus. That is all I can call you and all that I ever shall call you.

Xander

Darkness, and horror of darkness, unfolding, restless visistant sped by an ill wind in haste. Madness and... madness a-and stabbing pain and-and, uh, oh, oh... Memory of, uh, ill deeds I have done.