You're the Slayer, and we're, like, the Slayerettes!
S1Witch
I laugh in the face of danger! Then I... hide until it goes away.
Look what I found. It's my yearbook from junior year. [finds her picture] Oh, look! There I am.
Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair.
This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history?
This is madness. What could you have been thinking? You are the Slayer. Lives depend upon you. I make allowances for your youth, but I expect a certain amount of responsibility, instead of which you enslave yourself to this-this... cult.
[we see Buffy is wearing a cheerleading outfit]
You don't like the color?
This is madness. What could you have been thinking? You are the Slayer. Lives depend upon you. I make allowances for your youth, but I expect a certain amount of responsibility, instead of which you enslave yourself to this-this... cult?
[Buffy is wearing a cheerleading outfit]
You don’t like the color?
I don't... Do you, um... do you ignore everything I say, as-as a rule?
No. I believe that's your trick. I told you, I'm trying out for the cheerleading squad.
You have a sacred birthright, Buffy. You were chosen to destroy vampires, not to... wave pom poms at people. And as the Watcher, I forbid it.
And you'll be stopping me how?
Well, I... By appealing to your common sense, if such a creature exists.
I will still have time to fight the forces of evil, okay? I just... want to have a life. I want to do something normal. Something safe.
Look what I found. It's my yearbook from junior year. [finds her picture] Oh, look. There I am.
Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair.
This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history?
Well, it's really cool, but I gotta book.
Well, I was thinking. I know the cheerleading thing didn't work out. Maybe you should think about joining the yearbook staff. I did it. It was a lot of fun.
Not really my tip, Mom.
I was photo editor. I got to be on every page. Made me look much more popular than I was.
And have you seen the kids that do yearbook? Nerds pick on them.
Some of the best times I had in school were working on the yearbook.
Well, this just in: I'm not you. I'm into my own thing.
Your own thing, whatever it is, got you kicked out of school, and he had to move here to find a decent school that would take you. Honey... Oh, great parenting form. A little shaky on the dismount.
S1Teacher's Pet
God, every day here is the same.
Bright, sunny, beautiful. However can we escape this torment?
It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.
This computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office... One assumes it is entirely legal?
[in unison] Of course.
[in unison] Entirely.
Right. Wasn't here. Didn't see it. Couldn't have stopped you.
PFPrincipal Flutie
We all need help with our feelings. Otherwise we bottle them up, and before you know it, powerful laxatives are involved. I really believe if we all reach out to one another we can beat this thing. I'm always here if you need a hug, [jumps back] but not a real hug! Because there's no touching, this school is sensitive to wrong touching.
I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Like how even used Mercedes still have leather seats.
PFPrincipal Flutie
You were there. You saw Dr. Gregory, didn't you?
Um, you mean yesterday in the cafeteria when we found him--
PFPrincipal Flutie
Don't say dead or decapitated or decomposing. I'd stay away from "d" words altogether, but you witnessed the event, so this way, please.
Oh, no. I'm gonna be late for biology.
PFPrincipal Flutie
Extremely late. You have to see a counselor. Everyone who saw the body has to see a crisis counselor.
But I really don't--
PFPrincipal Flutie
We all need help with our feelings, otherwise we bottle them up, and before you know it, powerful laxatives are involved. I really believe if we all reach out to one another, we can beat this thing. I'm always here if you need a hug, but not a real hug, because there's no touching in this school. We're sensitive to wrong touching.
But I really, really--
PFPrincipal Flutie
No. You have to talk to a counselor and start to healing. You have to heal.
But, Mr. Flutie, I d--
PFPrincipal Flutie
Heal.
I don't know what to say. It was really, I mean, one minute you're in your normal life, and then who's in the fridge? It really gets to you, a thing like that. It was... Let's just say I haven't been able to eat a thing since yesterday. I think I lost, like, 7.5 ounces, way swifter than that so-called diet that quack put me on. Oh, I'm not saying that we should kill a teacher every day, just so I can lose weight, I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side, you know? Like, how even used Mercedes still have leather seats.
S1Never Kill a Boy on the First Date
[reading from the writing of Aurelius] "There will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance. And in this time shall come the Anointed, the Master's great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him. And he will lead her into Hell." As it is written, so shall it be. "Five will die, and from their ashes the Anointed shall rise. The Brethren of Aurelius shall greet him, and usher him to his immortal destiny." As it is written, so shall it be. "And one of the Brethren shall go out hunting the night before and get himself killed, because he couldn't wait to finish his job before he ate." Oh, wait...
[He grabs one of the Brethren by the throat]
That's not written anywhere. The Anointed will be my greatest weapon against the Slayer. If you fail to bring him to me... If you allow that girl to stop you...
[He throws the vampire into a coffin]
Here endeth the lesson.
[about Owen's book selection] Oh, Emily Dickinson.
We're both fans.
Yes, she's quite a good poet. I mean for a...
[defensively] A girl?
For an American.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.