Principal Flutie and Buffy in “Teacher's Pet”

You were there. You saw Dr. Gregory, didn't you?

Buffy

Um, you mean yesterday in the cafeteria when we found him--

Don't say dead or decapitated or decomposing. I'd stay away from "d" words altogether, but you witnessed the event, so this way, please.

Buffy

Oh, no. I'm gonna be late for biology.

Extremely late. You have to see a counselor. Everyone who saw the body has to see a crisis counselor.

Buffy

But I really don't--

We all need help with our feelings, otherwise we bottle them up, and before you know it, powerful laxatives are involved. I really believe if we all reach out to one another, we can beat this thing. I'm always here if you need a hug, but not a real hug, because there's no touching in this school. We're sensitive to wrong touching.

Buffy

But I really, really--

No. You have to talk to a counselor and start to healing. You have to heal.

Buffy

But, Mr. Flutie, I d--

Heal.