Buffy the Vampire Slayer quotes

Buffy

Weapons are by the TV. I'll grab the stuff upstairs.

Spike

Buffy... If you wanna just hand them over the threshold...

Buffy

Come in, Spike.

Spike

Presto. No barrier. I won't bother with the small stuff. Couple of good axes should hold off Glory's mates while you take on the lady herself.

Buffy

We're not all gonna make it. You know that?

Spike

Yeah. Always knew I'd go down fightin'.

Buffy

I'm counting on you to protect her.

Spike

Till the end of the world. Even if that happens to be tonight.

Buffy

I'll be a minute.

Spike

I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man. And that's...Get your stuff. I'll be here

Hey, kid, wanna see a trick?

Buffy

We on schedule?

Giles

Yes, it's time.

Buffy

Will?

Willow

Tara, baby? Is there somewhere you should be?

Tara

They held me down.

Willow

No one's holding you. It's the big day, right? Do you wanna go?

Tara

[pauses on the way to the door, points at Giles] You're a killer. [Quieter] This is all set down. [continues towards the door]

Buffy

[to Willow] Stay close but don't crowd her. We'll follow in a minute. [to the rest of the gang] Hey, everybody knows their jobs. Remember, the ritual starts - we all die. And I'll kill anyone who comes near Dawn. [leaves]

Spike

Well, not exactly the St Crispin's Day speech, was it?

Giles

We few. We happy few.

Spike

We band of buggered.

Spike

Come on, I'm not going to get anything killed with you lot holding me back.

Tara

I thought the big ones were supposed to tire more easily.

Spike

No, that's over the hill shopkeepers.

Giles

[Out of breath] I'm fine. I just need to die for a minute.

Spike

It was that powder you blew at him that made him rabbit off.

Tara

It was supposed to confuse him but it just made him peppy. Its not supposed to mix with anything. You think he's taking prescription medication?

Giles

Well let's hope he doesn't handle any heavy machinery.

Willow

I got her head back on, didn't I? And I got her off those knock-knock jokes.

Oh, who's there?

Xander

If you want her to be exactly...

Spike

She'll never be exactly.

Xander

I know.

Tara

The only really real Buffy is really Buffy.

Giles

And she's gone.

If you want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone who?

Tara

You found the last known Urn of Osiris on eBay?

Yeah, from this desert gnome in Cairo. He drove a really hard bargain, but I finally got him to throw in a limited-edition Backstreet Boys lunch box for -

- a friend.

Xander

Scenario: We raise Buffy from the grave. She tries to eat our brains. Do we: a) congratulate ourselves on a job well done-

Willow

Xander, this isn't zombies.

And zombies don't eat brains anyway, unless instructed to by their zombie master. A lot of people get that wrong.

Giles

[sadly] I just can't help but wonder if... she would have been better off without me. Buffy.

I don't think that's true. You were very helpful to her.

Giles

[laughs bitterly] Right. Yes, I was a perfect Watcher. I did what any good Watcher would do - got my Slayer killed in the line of duty.

Oh, that wasn't your fault.

Giles

Of course not. That's how all Slayer-Watcher relationships end, isn't it? She's gone. I did my job.

[innocently] Then why are you still here?

Tara

I know how to help Willow and Xander.

[looking at Tara quizzically] Yoga?

Xander

I know we've been going straight because I've been following the North Star.

Willow

Xander, that's not the North Star, it's an airplane.

Xander

Demons, ah. There's something you don't see every day. Unless you're us.

Not looking too good.

Xander

I don't see you winning any beauty pageants. Not unless the "Miss my face fell off" contest gets going.

Big axe you got there.

Xander

Better to cut you down to size, grandma.