Shawn Hunter quotes from Boy Meets World

Jack

[about Shawn's room] So when people throw garbage down the chute, this is where it winds up, huh?

Shawn

Are you calling me a pig?

Jack

A pig would never live in here.

Shawn

Oh, yeah?

Shawn

I got four can't-miss ways on how to get Superbowl tickets.

Cory

Okay, give me the best one.

Shawn

I go back in time to the first Superbowl when tickets weren't that hard to get.

Cory

Good. Good. Very good. I don't need to hear the other three.

Cory

If you could change your mate into one animal, what would it be and why? Please, nothing fuzzy-wuzzy.

Topanga

A falcon.

Cory

Yes, a falcon. The hunter of all that is fuzzy-wuzzy.

Topanga

No, a falcon because I want you to be free to soar majestically as long as I know that you'll always come back to me.

Angela

If I ever get like that, kill me.

Shawn

I would have to.

Topanga

He lied to me. He lied to me about staying up all night with Lauren. Strike one.

Shawn

All they did was talk!

Topanga

He lied to me about kissing her! Strike two.

Shawn

All they did was talk and kiss!

Angela

Well, is any one of us safe??

Shawn

Yeah, virgins. Virgins never die.

Cory

All right! *to Topanga* Thanks for saving me.

Eric

*proud* I'm dead!

Jack

*resigned* I'm dead.

Shawn

Well, I'll get as sick as you can get without actually dying.

Angela

Feeny...he's dead.

Go Feeny! Go Feeny! I said, go, go, go Feeny!

Feeny

Nebraska, Mr. Hunter. Nebraska!

Shawn

The 75th State! Major Export: Tortillas!

Shawn

Alright lets' calmly recap

Eric

(quickly and panicked) Kenny's dead, Feeney's dead, we're trapped inside with the killer!

Shawn

Dad used to drink and then he stopped.

Jack

Do you know why he stopped drinking?

Shawn

Because he ran out of money?

Jack

Do you know why my mom left him?

Shawn

Because she went for a guy with more money?

Cory

This city is a cultural vacuum, my friend.

Shawn

That's why my people settled here.

Shawn

Cor, what I'm about to tell you is gonna make you wanna kill me.

Cory

I'm not gonna kill you, Shawn. It takes too much time to break in a new best friend.

Shawn

Tonight we leave as boys and come back men.

Cory

Are we talking about the same thing?

Shawn

[raising an eyebrow seductively] I certainly hope so.

Cory

Okay, so after the prom, romance in the air, you and Angela, you're gonna look in each other's eyes --

Shawn

Me and Angela?

Cory

Well, Shawn. I think the time has come... to sign each others' yearbooks! Shall we talk about it first?

Shawn

No, no, let's just do it.

Cory

Boy oh boy. Where to begin, huh? [cuffing Shawn affectionately] What am I gonna say to you? I mean this is gonna take me at least a week.

Shawn

[handing back the book] I'm done.

Cory

You're done? [opens to the page] "Hey"? You write "Hey"?!

Shawn

And I mean it!

Feeny

You can't tell Cory and Topanga what to do. I've been trying to do that since the first grade. I remember when I tried to separate their desks. She kicked me. He bit me. And some little punk kept saying, "Leave 'em alone! They should get married!"

Shawn

I was cute then, huh?

Feeny

[sarcastically] Precious.

Shawn

Wow.

Cory

What?

Shawn

You brought pudding to college!

Cory

Hey, I got one for you.