Max Keenan quotes from Bones

Max

Oh, he's a man of principle, and I mean that as a terrible insult.

Max

You two don't understand what happens when the system turns on you! I do!

Max

This guy, Pelant. He needs killing, Booth.

Max Keenan

Hey, I haven't committed a crime in over fifteen years. I'm straight.

Brennan

Except for killing, gutting and burning the Deputy Director of the F.B.I.

Max Keenan

He was trying to kill Russ, and then he was going after you. It is not a crime to protect your family.

Brennan

Well, some fathers do it without killing.

Brennan

Dad, what are you doing here?

Max

Well, I heard you were getting married.

Brennan

What? No! Angela's getting married to Hodgins, not me.

Max

Oh...uh, the bug guy... oh that's great! [Booth starts to handcuff him]

Booth

[to Max] Will you shut up, please! [catches Brennan looking at him, awkwardly to her] Uh, long enough for me to Mirandize him.

Max

[sarcastically] You got the right to remain silent....got it! [to Brennan] We'll talk more later.

Booth

[apologetically] Look, I'm sorry, Bones, but he killed the Deputy Director of the FBI. I'm just doing my job.

Max

Oh, he's a full-grown scientist?

Clark

I shave, sir. I have a driver's license. I've won a couple fist fights. I've saved a life. I've lain with women. I've been hustled at pool. I've defied my father's wishes. I have broken hearts and I have been heartbroken. So, by all the markers of this society, I am a grown man.

Max

Oh. You've "lain with women"?

Russ

Is he gonna talk like that at Dad's trial?

Max

Are you sleeping with my daughter?

Booth

No.

Max

Why? Are you gay?

Booth

[half-laughing] No.

Max

Is she not attractive enough?

Booth

[somewhat angry] Bones is beautiful.

Max

Is it because of me? Because I killed one man and we both know he deserved it?

Booth

All right, just cut it out, Max, all right? I'll talk to her. Probably ain't gonna get anywhere with her, but I'll talk to her.

Max

You're a good man, and I want that for her. Now, I gotta go blow up some soda for some kids.

Max

I've decided I'm leaving the Jeffersonian.

Sweets

Why?

Brennan

Because I fired him.

Sweets

You can do that?

Max

Oh, yeah. Believe me, she can do it.

Brennan

Well, it's all about proximity to forensic evidence.

Max

Don't take any offense, but that's a lot of crap. It's about a proximity to me. Right?

Sweets

Well, in my opinion, it isn't your father's presence that's causing you anxiety. It's the memory of his absence.

Brennan

I can understand quantum mechanics, but I can't understand you.

Max

I was doing it for you.

Brennan

No, I don't want you to kill people for me. Just buy me a sweater like a regular dad.

We are doomed! We only needed two pins and you left them both standing!

Booth

I've still got another ball.

Max

Yeah, right. A seven-ten split.

Brennan

It's highly improbable, statistically approaching the impossible.

Sometimes when you speak it's like you watch PBS on purpose.

Booth

You know, I just thought...look, you know, before I get married you'll be able to give me some advice here.

I'm not a priest anymore, Booth.

Booth

I know, ok, I know that, but the "real ones", they don't know me like you.

Aldo

We could've done this at the bar.

Booth

Come on, Aldo. Will you just cut me some slack here?

Aldo

Ok. I'm jealous. [Booth looks at him] What you and Temperance have, it's the reason we draw breath. You screw this up, Booth, and it'll be worse than any hell God can dream up for you.

Max

I agree.

Max

[to Aldo] I'm Max. I'm Tempe's father. [shakes hands with Aldo] This guy, he thinks I'm still a crook.

Aldo

Aldo. He still thinks I'm a priest.

Max

[to Booth] I tell you what, I've never seen anything more right. I'd be proud to call you my son. I only wish that Tempe's mother was here to watch her walk down the aisle.

Booth

[nods] Me too.

Hank

I'd like to make a toast before we go.

No no no, Pops. You do that at the rehearsal dinner, OK?

Hank

Just a little one, Shrimp. A private one. I've been waiting for this day ever since I met Tempe.

Max

I'm doing that to him.

Then I'm going to sing a song. A little one. Actually, two.

Parker

I'm pretty hungry.

Brennan

We should hurry. We don't want to be late to the dinner...

Yeah.

[jokingly looks at Max and Hank] You know what? We're getting in trouble for loving them.

Hank

Better not to listen. [turns to Booth] You're a lucky man, Shrimp. You found a woman who's willing to stand up to you and call you on your crap.

My what??

Hank

You can be stubborn and if she's willing to stick around and try to civilize you, then you better listen and make adjustments, 'cause that's love.

Seeley, what you have here is the final piece of the puzzle. It's what's going to make you whole. Tempe is the woman I always wished I could be and the one that every mother prays that her son will find.

Max

[dramatically] Now I'm gonna cry. How can I do a speech if I'm gonna cry.