Lance Sweets quotes from Bones

Sweets

So the way we play this is I'm the understanding psychologist and you be the flinty FBI agent?

Booth

[dismisses him] Just be what we are.

Sweets

You knew you had to tell someone who would listen. And you were right. You can't just "will" something like this away. You have to deal with it or it'll stay with you forever.

What do you know? Were you raped?

Sweets

[takes a deep breath] No, no. [pauses] Um...when I was a boy I was in a bad foster home. I was beaten. The foster dad, he did it for sport. I thought it was me. You know, I thought, if I just behaved better. So that's what I tried to do. Until someone helped me see it wasn't my fault. It wasn't. And no matter how hard or painful it is, it was better to face what happened.

Sweets

You've been reading my psychology books again.

Brennan

You leave them in the bathroom. They're good reading in the tub.

Sweets

But still, to face a pack of wild animals alone...

Booth

I'm sure you could just bore them to death with your shrinky talk.

Sweets

Sorry.

Booth

Nah, it's ok. You're all good with the move? You need any help?

Sweets

No, but thanks.

Booth

[looks at Sweets] All right. You sure checked the building out for asbestos and plumbing leaks and cracks and the foundation...

Sweets

Yeah. All good.

Booth

'Cause I don't wanna hear any crazy excuses from you that you've gotta move back in.

Sweets

[smiles] Not gonna happen. I'm set.

Booth

[unconvinced] You're ok living in a building full of shrinks.

Sweets

Hey, you know, we have a lot in common, plus we have the skills to work out our disagreements in a healthy and constructive manner. [pats Booth on the back, grins] I'm gonna miss you too, Agent Booth.

Booth

[unamused] Right. Yeah. Well, I see all the time here at work. Plus I get my tub back and I won't have to look at the stupid pomegranate juice in my refrigerator.

Sweets

You still haven't tried it yet.

Booth

No, I haven't. That's called shrink juice.

Sweets

[shrugs] It's just pomegranate juice.

Booth

Why don't you gather all your new neighbors together and you can have a shrink juice party? [walks into his office]

Sweets

That's good.

Booth

[shuts office door] Enjoy that!

Sweets

You seem to feel that anger is good solution to your problems, which I totally understand.

Yeah?

Sweets

[nods, speaks rapidly] Yeah, sure. The release of adrenalin and noradrenalin in your system causes you to feel optimistic that your impulses are causing you to make, huh, reasonable risk assessments. It's a common correspondence bias.

[irritated] Are you screwing with me?

Sweets

[earnestly] No. I'm simply pointing out that your lack of self control can cause you to make extremely poor decisions––

You said you're on my side!!

Booth

[raises hand to calm suspect down] No, he said he understood why you'd go psycho!

Sweets

[glances at Booth] Ok, I wouldn't use that word but––

Booth

[impatiently to Sweets] I know. That's why I'm here.

Angela

If Hodgins did this to me...

Sweets

You'd want to kill him.

Angela

No. I would kill him. [Sweets cringes]

Sweets

Thank you. Dr. Montenegro, where did you get your degree again?

Angela

The same place you got that degree in sarcasm.

Hodgins

Angie, it's just a rehearsal. You can't keep crying.

Angela

I can and I will.

Sweets

Can't forget the best man.

He'll be dressed on the day.

Booth

[to the vicar] My son is flying in later, so hey.

Brennan

That's my dad.

[answers the call] Yes?....I do last rites but I don't do murder. [passes phone to Booth] It's for you...

Hodgins

$25 on the wedding being canceled by lunchtime tomorrow.

Sweets

Yeah, 50 bucks says it's canceled before the sun goes down.

Worst friends ever.

Sweets

[reading a letter from evidence off his tablet] "I see your hands and my body trembles with memory. Your touch is like coarse silk against my bare skin, pulling me ever closer..."

Booth

[looks around, embarrassed] You can't read that at my wedding! There's gonna be kids there.

Sweets

No no no. It's from Angela.

Booth

Oh. Well, that figures.

Sweets

It's text from the letter found on the victim.

Sweets

Trial's over.

Booth

That's good.

Sweets

Yeah. Apparently one of the jurors argued with the defense attorney during a summation?

Booth

[grins sheepishly] I'm sure it wasn't Bones.

Sweets

I think I found the victim's drug connection.

Booth

What? How?

Sweets

I trolled her online school chat rooms.

Booth

You spied on kids.

Sweets

I could call it "surveillance" if it makes you feel better.

Sweets

Aw man....yacht clubs, sailing, prep schools. You're dealing very well with the loss of your fortune.

Hodgins

Truthfully, I thought it would be harder. But, I don't know. When I'm at work, I'm not thinking about money, you know? When I'm with Angela and Michael Vincent, it never crosses my mind. I mean, even with you, the coffee's good, the company....

Sweets

I'm impressed.

Hodgins

As long as a person has enough, they don't need more. And I've got more than enough.

Brennan

Booth is right. It is like the queen sacrifice Marshall used against Levitsky in 1912.

Booth

What???

Sweets

He wouldn't see that coming. [looks at Brennan] How'd you know about that?

Brennan

I play too, not like you, of course. I've been trying to teach Booth but he keeps referring to the knights as "horsies". [Booth covers his face with his palm in frustration]

Booth

That's great, can we just move this along. Ok, chess is a one-on-one game, but in a real war, you need a platoon and that's what we are right now, ok? So let's move out!