Lance Sweets quotes from Bones

Booth

Look, if you can't bury a body deep enough you cover it in lye so the animals don't dig it up. It's classic Al Capone.

Sweets

You think it was a mob hit?

Booth

Oh... [rubs face tiredly] What, a girl in her twenties?

Sweets

It's sexist! Nowadays a girl in her twenties could be as much a mobster as a guy.

Booth

[deadpan] Wonderful in how far we've come.

Booth

Take the files. Go shrink them. Shrink it down.

Sweets

I don't "shrink" files. I read them.

Booth

Just shrink it down.

Booth

When you're a little girl you should be treated like a princess, not some criminal on the run.

Sweets

Max was a criminal on the run. So Dr. Brennan's probably sublimated those feelings as a way to cope.

Booth

And now she's probably trying to justify it all by saying that a kid's birthday party isn't important. But it is!

Sweets

I would imagine so. I've...never...been thrown a party either. So... [looks away awkwardly]

Booth

You too?

Sweets

No.

Booth

[shakes head in disbelief] Wow. My dad was a drunk and he threw me a birthday party every year. The only time I ever saw him really sober.

Sweets

[sympathetically] It's probably why birthdays are so meaningful to you.

Booth

Look, what's the big deal? I know you helped put the mental part of the test together.

Sweets

Right, but that doesn't mean I can give you the answers, Booth.

Booth

I'm not looking for the answers, ok? I'm just....trying to see what kind of questions are gonna be on the test.

Sweets

The test is the day after tomorrow. Don't you feel ready?

Booth

[grins] Come on, I was born ready.

Sweets

[smirks] You're missing a good old-fashioned murder, aren't ya?

Booth

[amused] Oh come on, aren't you? We're all sitting around here hoping that someone recorded a confession in some frozen lady's head.

Sweets

I've been through almost a thousand pages Kessler compiled on the murder case, as well as McNamara's business dealings. Kessler suffers from post-traumatic embitterment disorder, dysthymia as well as a cold morbidity....

Ok, ok, the guy's a sick bastard, I get it.

So how do you even know this is a murder? The deceased could've been sitting on the edge, fallen in after drinking too much

Sweets

Well, there're drag marks that go all the way from the trail, all the way over to the well here. If you look at the grate, it shows signs of stress as if someone stomped it in. It was a body dump, Dr. Saroyan.

Ok. I'm impressed.

Hodgins

Wow, did he just "Brennan" you?

I believe he did.

Brennan

What does it mean to "Brennan" someone? Is that a compliment? Dr. Sweets seems to be very thorough.

Sweets

[smirks] Thank you.

Caroline Julian

Move fast, cher. This is a Cinderella warrant. When Sanderson's attorneys find out about it, it'll turn into a pumpkin.

Sweets

Great, finally get to use my siren.