Temperance Brennan quotes from Bones

Look, I would be an idiot to kill Hanson. Ok? The guy paid me buckets to write CRAP.

Booth

[offended] Hey!

Brennan

Crap? You're writing my film!

Sorry to burst your bubble but the only reason he green-lighted your film was to get into Cherie Redfern's pants. So...

Brennan

The icepal is stupid.

Booth

[to Liam, nods in agreement] Yeah, it is dumb.

Brennan

So...

Booth

It is kinda dumb.

Brennan

...stupid.

Booth

Looks like Mandy Oh really wanted that job.

Brennan

[makes a face] Uh-oh! [laughs]

Booth

[grins] Yeah, that's funny. Mandy Oh. Right.

Booth

[in baby talk to Christine] Organic content decomposing changes the appearance of plant life, right? Doesn't it?

Brennan

[surprised] Yes!

Booth

[to Brennan] Well, you know, I missed you so I was reading some of your books. They're thick. They're really ... they're heavy.

Booth

You've got to be kidding me! Eight hundred bucks for a stroller?

Brennan

I have done extensive research, Booth. This is the best stroller on the market. Plus, the design is beautiful and it's cerise.

Booth

It has a name?

Brennan

It's a color. Cerise is a color.

Booth

Look, I only paid five hundred bucks for my first car.

Brennan

I can afford it.

Booth

No! We've been through this. All our expenses are split, right down the line.

Brennan

You're too sensitive. It's just money.

Booth

Rich people always say that. That's what they say. Mm-hmm.

Brennan

Didn't you say you would be getting a raise soon?

Booth

And until then Christine will be fine in a cheaper stroller that's in a color people have heard of like -- [looks over to see Brennan looking at him] -- don't do that. Not that look, please. Don't give me the sad eyes.

Brennan

Please?

Booth

No, come on. No! I'm not looking! I'm driving!

Brennan

Come on.

Booth

[to himself] Just keep driving. [looks over] You were never able to do this look before the baby. What did the baby do to you?

Someone was bound to kill Richard.

Brennan

Why? Was your husband an attorney for organized crime or terrorists?

Much worse. Richard was a white shoe divorce lawyer.

Brennan

I believe the shoes were ox blood. [Booth looks irritated]

Booth

[to Brennan] What she means is that her husband is a lawyer for rich people. No shoes.

Brennan

Oohhhhh.

[to Booth and Brennan] Uh, this is a hard hat area so I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Booth

[flashes his badge] FBI. I need a hard hat.

Brennan

And directions to Margot Sandoval's office and I need a hard hat too.

[with dread] This is gonna slow me down.

Booth

That's a shame.

Yeah. A little mercy, all right? I'm doing renovations for a bunch of lawyers who threaten to sue me everyday. [removes hard hat] I'm going bald with the stress.

Booth

Well, you know why I have good hair? Because I don't let lawyers stress me out.

Brennan

That's true.

Ok, ok fine. Who do you need to see again?

Booth

Richard Bartlett.

You're gonna lose a few hairs after you meet Bartlett. Trust me.

Brennan

Is everything all right?

Booth

Ah, I just don't like being in a divorce lawyer's office, that's all.

Brennan

Why?

Booth

Well, 'cause it reminds me that things, you know, fall apart.

Brennan

[awkwardly joking] Then it's a good thing we're not married, right? [Booth glares at her]

Booth

"[upset]" You are not a very reassuring person, Bones.

Booth

Marriage is about working through the tough times.

Brennan

More often, marriage is about divorce, which is why Bartlett could afford three homes and a plane.

Booth

If I get this promotion I wouldn't be in the field as much. But hey, that could be a good thing.

Brennan

But you'd be behind a desk. You'd hate that.

Booth

But I would get a raise and I will love that.

Brennan

A desk job? It's like caging an animal. You're meant to run free, Booth.

Brennan

I'm sorry you're not getting the promotion.

Booth

Thank you.

Brennan

You're welcome.

Booth

You know, for lying to me, thank you. I mean, I know it's a white lie, but I mean look at you, being all sweet and lying to me.

Brennan

I didn't want you to get the promotion?

Booth

Why? Because I'm a man of action and not someone who's going to rot behind a desk?

Brennan

No, because who else will take me out into the field?

Booth

That's a good point, Bones.

Brennan

But truthfully, I am sorry that you're disappointed.

Booth

I'm not disappointed.

Brennan

[smiles] Because you're a man of action who would rot behind a desk?

Booth

That's right! A man of action!

Brennan

Can I start buying you things now?

Booth

No, you can't, but I'll tell you what: you can buy Christine stuff.

Brennan

I know you'd like a new grill.

Booth

Christine would love a new grill. She would love it.

Brennan

Baby girls need new grills.

Booth

Baby girls, and a new tool set! [motions to the food] And what is this?

Brennan

It's quinoa.

Booth

Quinoa?

Brennan

Quinoa.

Booth

And what is that?

Brennan

It's a grain. It's a lot of protein --

Booth

When I get the new grill we can grill steaks!

Brennan

When I am President, killing tigers will be a death penalty offense.

Booth

Whoa. The President isn't actually a dictator, Bones.

Booth

Bones!

Brennan

Yes?

Booth

Is Sweets in our bathroom?

Brennan

Yes. Should I have put a note on the door?

Booth

Well, a little warning would've been nice. What's he doing in our bathtub?

Brennan

Jets.

Booth

Our jets. In our bathtub.

Brennan

Societies in Japan and Turkey encourage public bathing. [Booth looks at her, unamused] In modern day Finland...

Booth

Finland?!! Woah, woah, this is not Finland!

Sweets

[comes out with only a towel wrapped around his waist while Booth turns and glares at him] Sorry, Booth, I should've locked the door, huh?

Brennan

[innocently] Because you've played on so many sports teams and spent a lot of time in the Army I assumed you were comfortable with male nudity.

Sweets

You know, fear of nudity is called gymnophobia.

Booth

Oh, listen, psychology and anthropology, I liked it better when you two were fighting, all right? [glances at Sweets] Are we done with our bathtub?

Sweets

Yeah

Booth

Yeah. [turns to Brennan] I like to soak in our tub. After work. [turns to go up the stairs]

Brennan

If you'd seen Booth's x-rays you'd understand. The list of bones that he hasn't broken is shorter than the ones that he has. [Booth puts his arms up in frustration, glares at Brennan]

Brennan

I dug out remains from the rubble of the towers. [pauses] For two weeks I was methodical, scientist. I did what was asked of me. I did my job. I never shed a tear. I was proud of that. [tears up] All these years I've never let myself feel... [starts crying]

Booth

[sympathetically] Bones, we all deal with things in our own way, ok?

Brennan

I could avoid it all before I met you. I had no one in my life. And now I think of those people and I think of you. Any one of them, it could've been you. [Booth embraces her as she sobs into his chest]

Brennan

It's a container of some sort...[examines pod]...filled with gelatinzed human remains.

Hodgins

[looks on with fascination] At first I thought pod people.

Booth

Of course you did.

Hodgins

Hey, there's still a lot of questions remaining about the events at Area 51, you know. Do you know that UFO spottings--

Booth

[annoyed] Let's just keep it close to earth here, bug boy. Just simplify the investigation.

Brennan

[to Booth] Reminds me of a ship in a bottle. My dad gave me one when I was little.

Booth

Right. So this, uh, kinda brings up all these "warm and cuddly" memories for you. That's nice.

Brennan

Sweets has trust issues involving finding a home. Since he grew up an orphan, the anger he's sublimated has paralyzed him from developing a healthy perspective on what having a home means. That made him bond with us and our home so he didn't have to deal with his own emotional insecurities.

Booth

Bones shoots from the outside! Three points!

Sweets

Where's that psychobabble coming from?

Booth

Well, you left one of your psychobabble books in our bathroom.