Temperance Brennan quotes from Bones

Sweets

May I call you Bones in future moments of shared camaraderie?

Brennan

Don't call me Bones.

Sweets

Sure about that, Bones?

Brennan

Please, don't.

Brennan

What's wrong?

Booth

Nothing. Come on in. How about some coffee? Caribbean bean!

Brennan

You hurt your back again?

Booth

Nope. No, no, no. It's that obvious, huh?

Brennan

Your gait suggests you restrained your anterior longitudinal ligament.

Booth

Yeah, well, I blame the couch, all right? I fell asleep last night watching the game. Look, I figured you fixed my back last time. Really, I just thought that maybe you could fix it again. So use your little magic knuckles and hit it up, and we're ready to go.

Brennan

Booth, if this has become a recurring problem, you should see a specialist.

Booth

Right. I get it. All disclaimers apply. Here we go. Hit the back. Chop, chop. We've got a case!

Sweets

Mad props.

Brennan

Thanks.

How are you, Agent Booth?

Booth

The only reason that I am not coming in right now is because Bones told me not to, but she's your responsibility. Nothing can happen to her, okay? If anything happens to her and all that silky black hair, all that soft skin --

I will not let her out of my sight. You have my word. Now we should really get back to the case, Agent Booth.

Booth

Am I stopping you? [hangs up]

Right. I'm going to round up as many black knights as I can at Imagicon. In the mean time, please don't go out in the field without me.

Brennan

I don't need a sitter. Booth gets needlessly protective sometimes. I have no idea why.

You really don't, do you?

Brennan

No.

Vincent

[referring to the corpse that is being examined] Forgive me, doctors, but...is his skin moving?

Ooh...God, that's strange.

Brennan

Insect activity?

Hodgins

Never seen insects like that...'cept in Alien.

Vincent

I'm secreting adrenaline.

Brennan

Please Booth? I'm ready.

Booth

One lesson with Sweets doesn't turn you into the master interrogator.

Brennan

[to Sweets] Is master interrogator a real thing?

Sweets

Technically, no.

Booth

You gotta know exactly what you want to find out when you go in there.

Brennan

Really, if you can do it, I can.

Booth

Seriously. You think you can do anything I can do. [looks at Sweets, who says nothing]

Brennan

[confidently] Not the big, strong, sheerly physical things but otherwise, yes!

Booth

Fine. Be my guest. Be the big ch.eese. Fill the shoes.

Sweets

Take an earpiece in case you, you know, need help.

Brennan

Ok, but don't distract me unnecessarily.

Booth

This is all your fault you know that right?

Sweets

What? You're the one who said yes.

Brennan

I have been to 74 interrogations with Booth, 42 in the room and 32 observing.

Angela

Uh huh.

Brennan

I should be able to do it.

Angela

What? Interrogate?

Brennan

Yes. I even engaged in a very interesting session with Sweets to improve my ability to manipulate people.

Angela

[chuckles] Ohhh. That wouldn't work.

Brennan

Why not?

Angela

Because what Booth has, you can't learn from Baby Boy Shrink. Booth's brilliant at pretending to be stupider than he actually is most of the time.

Brennan

Brilliant at stupidity?

Angela

Uh-hmm. Especially around you.

Brennan

Why would Booth do that?

Angela

Well, he knows that you like to be the smart one and so he lets you have that.

Brennan

You know, I am smarter than Booth.

Angela

[smiles] Ok. So maybe you should just let him have the people skills part of the job to himself then.

Angela

Hey sweetie. I think you'll find that the murder weapon was a pair of tailor shears.

Brennan

Why?

Angela

Why don't you run this information by Booth and see how quickly he comes to the same conclusion?

Booth

Bones you all right?

Brennan

You haven't said anything about my interrogation.

Booth

[pauses] Ok, you know what? You did great. Better than I thought.

Brennan

I was terrible. Everybody's right. I lack empathy.

Booth

You got empathy. You're awkward. That's different.

Brennan

My stuff is bones. Yours is people.

Booth

Right. So...you're admitting that I'm better at something than you are.

Brennan

No–– [pauses] [smiles] Yes. A lot better.

Booth

[smiles] Thanks Bones.

Brennan

Pregnancy is unlikely without intercourse.

Booth

Yeah, 'thanks for the tip, Bones.

Booth

You have got to be kidding me. Didn't this school ever hear of sex education?

Brennan

Well if so there's gaps in the curriculum.

Booth

That's for sure.

Angela

Have you ever noticed that a sunset looks more beautiful when you share it with someone that you care about?

Brennan

No, I haven't, but I'll pay better attention next time.

Some of us take coffee breaks, some of us take smoke breaks, Mr. Vasiri takes a spiritual break.

Brennan

Who smokes?

(defensively) Nobody. Not very often, anyway. Just very rarely, in times of great stress.

Booth

C'mon, Bones, you ought to take time to smell the primates!

Brennan

Why? They're malodorous and they throw their excrement.

Booth

I'm thinking the victim wandered away from his car, he was drunk, and he ended up in this area. The same thing happened to a guy last year in the giraffe section.

Brennan

Giraffes are herbivores. They don't eat people.

Booth

That part is different, but the guy broke his arm. Did you know that giraffes can weigh up to two tons?

Brennan

Yes. Everyone knows that.

Booth

And they sleep less than two hours a day.

Brennan

That I did not know.

Booth

Yes! Pinky stumps The Brain!

Brennan

We're scientists. We can't quantify or rely on our emotions. They're arbitrary and indeterminate.

We know people through our feelings, Dr. Brennan. You trust Booth because of how you feel.

Brennan

No, I trust Booth because of past actions.

And faith in the future. I'm sorry, but feelings are important. Even to you.