Shake a leg, Bob. Upskirt Kurt moves faster than this. He's not called "Kurt The Long, Slow Courtship Guy!"
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
UKUpskirt Kurt
Why'd you headbutt me?!
I was going to punch you, but I'm holding wine.
Oh my god!
So I'm guessing you guys are not the top frat on campus.
PPud
Nope. Our motto is, "If you rushed us, you'd be pledged by now."
TTurd
Worked on me.
HJHefty Jeff
We haze with hugs. Lot of good huggers in this group.
PPud
Girls never come here.
It's a man cave. And Tina's going spelunking.
[Bob tries to confront who put the Thanksgiving turkey in the toilet]
So, really— no one wants to confess? Louise?
It wasn't me!
Louise...
It wasn't!
So no one—including Louise—wants to admit they did this? I'm giving you one more chance to confess, then I'm grounding everyone, including your mom and Gayle!
Bobby!
GGayle
No, it's okay. I didn't have any plans.
Bob, come on. It was Louise. Or maybe Gene.
[gasps] How dare you! I put food in the toilet the way God intended! It had to be Louise.
Unbelievable. So everyone thinks I did it? Then I must be guilty. That's how it works, right!?
Yep. Perfect system.
I just want everyone to know that I've calmed down from this morning, and in the spirit of the holiday, whoever did this, I am granting you a full pardon!
(No one responds)
Ugh, I really thought that would work! Seriously, who put the turkey in the toilet!?
[Gayle explains why she doesn't want to re-join Linda's band]
GGayle
You never let me sing any of my songs.
That's because your songs were all so... [whispers] ...sexual.
Pardon?
Plus, you had that speech impediment.
GGayle
I know. I wrote a song about it called "G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-genitals."
I gotta go to my cousin's wedding this weekend and I'm dreading it.
Oh. Is this the cousin you got to second base with?
No, that was my second cousin and it was third base.
Kids are horrible. Why do we keep making them?
PMr. Platt
If it's bigger than a bake sale, they call Michael Mauerman, and then they get me because I have his number now, and I shut it down!
It's over, Bob. Caf-Co won. You're done.
Meat is done. Not people!
Woah, I just got a little chill when he said that.
This will always be remembered—until people forget.
It's Christmas Eve and our tree is dead! What are we gonna do, Bobby?
I don't know, but we had to get it out of the house. It caught on fire twice. I guess we're just not going to have a tree this year.
N-n-n-not have a tree!? On Christmas!?
Where are the presents gonna go without no tree?
We want a divorce!
[The Belchers park their car in the woods to avoid a menacing truck.]
Okay, everyone just be quiet.
Can I say just one thing?
Gene...
I think I have the best legs in the family. And the smoothest bottom.
Mom...
Yes, Tina?
I was the one who didn't flush. Sorry.
That's okay, Tina. It was impressive. It looked just like your father's.
Thanks. That's what I was going for.
Mom?
Oh my God...
Where do babies come from?
You all came from my vagina.
Ha! I knew it! Pay up, Tina!
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