Kelly quotes from Big Time Rush

WHAT?!

WHAT?!

WHAT?!

WHAT?!

Katie

WHAT?!

WHAT?! ...I mean, yeah. The Big Time Rush...is dead!

Kelly

Okay, guys! Time to find new James!

Gustavo

Let's do it!

(singing, off-key) Maaaaake it couuuuunt! Plaaaaayyyyyy it straiiiiight! Don't look dowwwwwwn...

Gustavo

NEEEEXT!

When you go big time! (break dances)

Gustavo

NEEEEXT!!

Ey, ey, listen to your heart now...

AYE, CARAMBA!

Gustavo

NEEEEXT!!!

[echoing] Oh, oh, oh-oh, ohhhhhh...

Gustavo

NEEEEXT!!!!

Oh, oh, oh-oh...

OH!

Whoa, oh...

Oh-oh...

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Gustavo

(glasses break) ...Kelly, is there anybody else left in the hallway?

Kelly

(sighs) Just some boy named Skippy Hickenlooper.

Gustavo

Okay, alright.

(singing flawlessly) If you want it all, lay it on the line/It's the only life you've got, so you gotta live it big time!

Gustavo

Welcome to Big Time Rush!

(cheering)

I'm so excited! ...I must now tell my dark overlord, Zorblock. Lord Zorblok, The time of prophecy is upon us!

Kendall

Maybe we can't replace James.

Gustavo

'Kay, Big Time Rush is now a trio.

Kendall

Don't worry. We'll figure this out. Have we ever let you down?

Gustavo

(laughs) Have they ever let me down... (Mrs. Knight and Katie shake their heads, then Kelly does) ...That's not the point. The point is, James...is NOT COMING BACK. Now, I don't care...WHAT you sing. But LOOK LIKE you're enjoying it, or I will destroy... ALL OF YOU!!!!! (brief moment of silence)

Kendall

(singing) Oh you're such a turd, oh yeah, a giant turd...

And you look like a turd, and you smell like a turd! Oh, you're such a turd...

Kelly

Well, they do seem to be enjoying it.

James

And you sme-ee-e-ee-ell... like a tu-ah-uh-urrrrrrd! (the other boys cheer and walk up to him)

Katie

I'm gonna be rich! ...I mean, hurray for friendship!

Kelly

Don't panic. Bands go on late all the time! It's a rock and roll tradition!

Gustavo

Right! We'll just stall them, and leave the curtain DOWN.

A pre-record deal, a worldwide tour, and immediate release of their album.

Gustavo

My mansion back, my studio fully restocked, and the dogs want something called, uh, "Sebastian".

Done.

Kelly

AND, I want you to go straight back to that studio, and write a hundred times, "I WILL NEVER DO THIS TO BIG TIME RUSH AGAIN"! (Griffin flees, and Kelly and Gustavo knuckle clash)

Kelly

Whoa, whoa. Nobody informed me of this.

Yes, I did. (intense music plays) I sent all the information, e-mailed all the assignments, and was told everything was being taken care of.

Kelly

Really. By who? (scene cuts to the studio where she is looking at Gustavo) ARE YOU NUTS?!?!

Gustavo

I didn't tell the boys about school because I needed them to focus on the tour. And I didn't tell you because you would just yell at me. Like you did just there!

Gustavo

900 years ago, the pilgrims came to this great land of ours in search of freedom. The freedom...TO ROCK!

Logan

The pilgrims came seeking religious freedom.

Gustavo

THESE ARE DIFFERENT PILGRIMS! And today, we celebrate the bravery of those headbanging pioneers for one month! ROCKTOBER. Now...are you gonna sit there and GIVE UP? Or are you gonna grab a number two pencil, STRAP ON YOUR THINKING CAP, and SAVE Rocktober?!

Logan

(stands up as superhero music plays) I'll need report covers, a glue stick, a protractor, green glitter number three, and 19 high energy sports drinks.

YES!

Kelly

That girl you hired breaks sweet Carlos's heart, I'll break EVERY ONE of your music awards.

Gustavo

Wouldn't DARE! (Kelly uses a baseball bat and swings at one of Gustavo's awards)

Gustavo

(panicked) Okay. The dogs...are clearly gonna get arrested. And not perform. So um, WHAT DO WE DO?!?

Kelly

We just have to ace the rest of Griffin's evaluation.

D! (Gustavo and Kelly turn to him) You just failed my secret test! (his assistant shows an iSlab with a "D" mark)

Gustavo

WHAT IS THE SECRET TEST?!?

If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret.

Kelly

The guys are late, and they're not picking up their cell phones!

Gustavo

Oh, that's 'cause I gave them the day off for pranking.

Kelly

WHAT? We've got a ton of work to do!

Gustavo

Kelly...pranks are a rite of passage for the young male.

Kelly

Really! I can't wait to not hear any more of this story!

Gustavo

FINE. Now, PLEASE be USEFUL, and go get me some sugar...for my coffee! (he taps the lid of his cup. She gives an "ugh" look) A thank you. (Kelly walks over to the cupboard, puts her papers down and opens the door only to have lots of sugar packets falling on her. Gustavo watches in amusement as she falls to the floor) The sugar packet pile-on! A Gustavo Rocque classic. (she stands up and spits out the packets) You got PRANKED! (he points at her and she glares at him)

Gustavo

(laughs at Kelly mocking him) THAT IS THE WORST SONG...I HAVE EVER HEARD...IN MY LIFE! AH, HA HA HA- (Kelly punches him) Oof!

Kelly

And you can't punch back, because I'm a girl!

Gustavo

(stands up) No you're not...you're Gustavo.

Kelly

Right...AHHHH! Justin Bieber! (points forward)

Gustavo

Hm?!? (he, Griffin and the secretary look behind eachother. Kelly runs, and Gustavo turns to see Kelly gone. He holds his fist up) ...Bieber!

Gustavo

Let's end it now, while it's even.

Kelly

Agreed. (they shake hands)

Here at our CMCBT GlobalNet Samuoid, we have a strict..."no pranking" policy. (Gustavo tries to talk, but his mouth is taped shut) I can't understand you, Gustavo, because your mouth is taped shut. (Gustavo mumbles again) Which is why I'm going to stay here, and help you stop your pranking ways.

Because you have no respect for each others' jobs, I'm recommending the "role reversal" method. The classy corporate exercise that teaches mutual respect.

Kelly

So all I have to do all day is write songs with the word "girl" in it and scream a lot?

Gustavo

Oh yeah, well I don't even know what she does!

Kelly

I do THIS! (slaps Gustavo in the head and the two have a slap fight)

Mandatory! The role reversal is now...mandatory.

Gustavo

Fine. (takes a binder and talks like Kelly) "Oh, Gustavo! Griffin wants his demos now! And blah, bluh, blah bluh bluh-

Kelly

(takes Gustavo's sunglasses and puts them on, then imitates him) KELLY! Go get the DOGS! I've got WORK to do! UHAHHHHHHHHH! (the two make babbling noises at each other)

See? Isn't this better?

Kelly

Actually, you wrote Yard Squirrel Christmas in five minutes and it's still your biggest selling single. (screen close-ups to show a platinum record) Ever.

It's a yard squirrel Christmas, and all we need is this!

Gustavo

YARRRRRRRRRRRD SQUIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRELS!!!!!!!!

Gustavo

It was just a STUPID novelty song, with SPED-UP voices, and I HATED it!

Carlos

Hey! I loved that song.

EVERYBODY loved that song.

Gustavo

I write the best pop songs IN THE WORLD and I will NOT be remembered for some STUPID SQUIRREL SONG!

Kelly

Okay, I just pushed our flights back four hours.

(all talking on phones)

Gustavo

And how are we doing on our celebrity search?

Kendall

(hangs up) I just got off the phone with Lady Gaga's people.

Gustavo

Ooh! What did she say?

Kendall

"Who's Big Time Rush?"

Gustavo

What about Jordin Sparks?

Logan

Out of town for the holidays. Just like every other celebrity we could sing with.

Gustavo

(grunts angrily)

Carlos

On the bright side, astronaut Buzz Aldrin is very interested. (Everyone looks at him.) Second man to walk on the moon!

James

There's got to be some celebrity that's still in town! (slams his fist on the remote and TV changes channels)

(on the TV) So join me, Miranda Cosgrove, from my Have Yourself a Miranda Little Christmas Special live from Los Angeles. (Everyone starts looking at the TV) With duets with your all of your favorite stars like international superstar Fabio, Lightning the T.V. Wonder Dog and-

James

(pauses the t.v. and the boys go to the TV)

Big Time Rush!

Gustavo

How?

Carlos

It'll be another Christmas miracle.