Logan quotes from Big Time Rush

Logan

WayneWayne is a total fraud.

James

He wants to kick Kendall out of the band. (Kendall raises his arms)

Gustavo

Really? I bet on Logan.

Logan

(laughs) Well you would have LOST.

So you got rid of Kendall (pressed the speaker) My money was on Logan.

Logan

(irritated) WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT?

Kendall

And we're not gonna fight over girls anymore, right?

Right!

Kendall

We're gonna be CIVILIZED, and only go after girls we meet ALONE and not together. Agreed?

Agreed! [Rachel shows up in front of them]

Hey, I just arrived at the Palmwoods. Can you tell me where the gym is?

Katie

(sighs) It's past the pool and to the right.

Great. Thanks. [as she walks off, the boys stare at her walking off]

Kendall

She's mine! [they all fight trying to reach her]

Kendall

Hey, hey hey. We are NOT toast! What's the one thing we've learned since we got in L.A.?

James

That black is the new black.

Logan

If you drink cold milk on a hot day, you DIIIIIIIE.

Carlos

That every time you leave your house, your toys come alive.

Kendall

James, you don't come?

James

No, I'd rather get a job that doesnt involve work.

Logan

(turns to Kendall) Go!

James

My lucky comb. (buzz)

Carlos

Yes! (buzz) No. (buzz) Maybe... (buzz)

Logan

Anti-disestablishmen-terianism. (buzz)

Kendall

Apatosaurus?! (buzz)

James

Golden shoes. (buzz)

Logan

Cheese sticks. (buzz)

James

(shouts) I'M GETTING A LITTLE FRUSTRATED HERE! (buzz)

Logan

(crying, with Carlos holding him) I was seven, I didn't know what I was doing! (buzz) (after two more buzzes) Would you stop it?!

Carlos

(after four more buzzes) Violence! (buzz)

Carlos! Violence is NEVER the answer! The correct answer is seven. (Carlos gets irritated and punches his legs)

Okay, according to those answers, we predict Deke will think you're slightly more advanced than cavemen who like corn dogs.

Carlos

Hey! We like hot dogs too!

Carlos

Life's funny, you know? One day, you're hockey players...then you're a pop band.

Logan

Then...blognappers.

James

Why does he think we're phonies, hm? HE SHOULD LIKE US!

Kendall

Why WOULD he like us?! 'Cause I gotta be honest: I don't like us right now! Worse than that, since when did we start caring about what people think about us? It's what we think about ourselves that matters.

Kendall

I cannot believe we can't get rid of Gustavo.

Logan

Yeah, well, I can't believe we can't get rid of a ghost.

You believe in ghosts?

Logan

I believe in the doo-doos in my pants. (Kendall and James make disgusted faces)

[running by yelling] GHOOOST!!!

James

We haven't failed this bad since we lost to Duluth East in hockey eight-one.

Carlos

Right, that was the game Kendall and I got ejected from for unsportsmanlike mooning.

Kendall

Wait a minute, that's it!

James

We should moon Gustavo and the ghost?

Kendall

No, we beat Duluth East in the finals later because we were all back on the ice--together.

As a team.

Carlos

Right! We're gonna team moon them!

Kendall

Close we're gonna team up

We have to get rid of that ghost.

Carlos

Don't worry, we'll catch it (pulls out green fishing net) tonight.

Logan

With a fishing net?

Carlos

An ecto net.

Logan

Fishing net.

Carlos

Ecto net!

Logan

It's a fishing net.

Carlos

Ec-to net!

Logan

Fishing net.

Carlos

ECTO NET!

Carlos

[to his camera] Okay. Logan, Bitters and I are gonna sleep out here in the lobby to try to catch the ghost.

Logan

There are no ghosts.

Logan

Dude!

Hear that? It was the ghost.

Carlos

[turns back around to the camera] Bitters just ripped one.

Camille

(after she throws her shoe at James) Logan, you may not believe this, but... I've never been asked out before.

Logan

No, I believe it.

Camille

This is my first dance, and I'd like to be asked in a way that I can remember. Not by cue cards!

Logan

Cue cards, what are you talking about? (she points to James holding the sign) Are you gonna hit me with a shoe?

Camille

No. And I'm not looking for a prince to ride up on a horse, but how about something with a little flair?

Logan

Flair. (James is dizzy from being hit, and holds up his "Will you go to the dance with me?" sign while walking)

(happily) Sure, James.

James

Except...I spent so much time helping Logan...I never got a chance to ask anybody to the dance.

Uh, no...you asked me.

Uh no, he asked me.

No, he hit me with a flying dance disk!

NO, HE ASKED ME!

James

Oh...maybe I did ask a few girls out. (they all glare at him angrily) Ladies! I'm a, i'm a go get some punch, you want- (they get riled and chase him out of the room while yelling) UAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

...He'll be fine!

Kendall

It's 95 degrees out, WHY is Bitters the only one in the pool? [Bitters waves to them]

Hey guys! Check out the sign.

Carlos

[reading the sign near the pool] Adult swim? No kids allowed?!?!

Logan

That's just plain rude!

Kendall

No, no no no no. You guys are reading it wrong! [he pulls out a marker] It says, "Adult swim? No, kids allowed!" [he uses the marker to change it to that. Everyone else jumps into the pool]

Carlos

(after he tells the Jennifers that they're in the music video, he looks at the other three boys and tries to hypnotize them with his watch) You are not mad at me. You are not mad at me...

Logan

Yes we are! (Jo is passing by with a suitcase and looks upset)

Kendall

No! Oh, no no no no no no no. (he runs up to her)

Kendall, I need your help.

Kendall

You can be in our video!

Really?

Kendall

Yep.

I was just going to see if you could fix this squeaky wheel, but...thanks. [she kisses him on the cheek, but the others look at him displeased]

Kendall

Okay, so I panicked!