Reports of a huge bat creature the size of a man. Remind you of anybody?
Present company excluded?
S1 E45Terror In The Sky
You couldn't leave it alone, could you, March? You've recreated the mutagen.
MMarch
[aiming a tranquilizer rifle at him] Recreated it? I've refined it! At night, on my own, so the others wouldn't know. I still believe only a creature like a Man-Bat can survive the next evolutionary cataclysm - and it will! My new serum could be even more powerful than Kirk's!
[after disarming March] "Could be"? What do you mean?
MMarch
I needed to test it, but before I had the chance--
You mean you haven't taken it?
MMarch
Of course not! The experimental batch was destroyed. I'll have to--
Destroyed? How?
MMarch
I'd been working through the night. I was just completing the final combination. [remembers incident at his lab as he drops the beaker of mutagen upon Francine's surprise entry] Francine burst in. I was startled. You have to understand I was very tired, I accidentally dropped the beaker. The whole night's work, ruined! Francine never guessed what I was doing, she even helped me clean up the mess. All that... glass! [recalls Francine licking her finger after it is pricked by a small shard of glass] Oh... oh, my lord... Francine! The mutagen - it's in her bloodstream now! [breaks down at his folly as Batman loads a tranquilizer into a pistol of his and then gives March the formula paperwork]
Is that what it's going to take? Your daughter's life, before you end this insanity?
[Later that night, March burns the files]
S1 E46Almost Got 'Im
I want a nice clean game, gentlemen.
That'll be a first. So, I hear 'you-know-who' nailed the Mad Hatter last week.
No kidding. He sure gets around for one guy.
Yeah, well that's where you're wrong. I don't think it IS one guy.
Huh?
The way I figure it, Gordon's got a bunch of 'em stashed someplace like a SWAT team. He wants you to think it's one guy, but-
Meh. You're always seeing double.
It's obvious our mutual adversary suffered some crime-related trauma when he was younger. Perhaps an over-anxious mugger blew off a piece of his face.
Sure! He could be all gross and disgusting under that mask! [as Two-Face crushes a milk carton] Uh, no offense, Harv.
Just deal.
Well, ya know what I think?
Not the robot theory again...
Well, he COULD be.
Poison Ivy...
It's been a long time Harvey. You're still looking...halfway decent.
Half of me wants to strangle ya.
And what's the other part want?
To hit you with a truck!
[to the others] We used to date.
PJPenguin/Joker
Ah.
S1 E47Birds Of A Feather
Say, who's there? Two-Face? Croc? Joker, old shoe?
None of the above, Penguin.
Oh no, not you...
Get used to it. Wherever you go, I'll be right behind you.
Precisely where you belong. But you needn't bother. Haven't you heard? I've reformed. Paid my debt to society, and all that.
We'll see. I just came to tell you to keep your beak clean.
[After Batman defeats a gang of thugs threatening the Penguin and Veronica]
I knew you couldn't stay clean for more than one day.
Let him go! He didn't do anything. It was those brutes!
He wasn't with them?
That's right, you vulgar vigilante! In my day, I associated with a much higher class of riff-raff!
I'm so sorry, Ozzie.
As long as you weren't bruised, my peach. [kisses her hand]
"Peach"?
Why don't you be a good masked man and ride off into the night? This time, I'll clean up after you.
Please, Oswald! If it's money you want, I can get you more!
SHUT UP! All I wanted from you, dearie, was a little friendship. That would have cost you nothing. But now you'll pay!
Oswald? I really was growing fond of you. It's too bad this had to happen.
I suppose it's true what they say: society is to blame. High society.
S1 E48What Is Reality?
"Where does a 500 pound gorilla sleep?" "What's worse than a millipede with flat feet?" "How do you stuff five elephants into a compact car?"
Anywhere it wants, a giraffe with a sore throat, and two in the front seat, two in the back, and one in the trunk.
Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. Any schoolboy knows those. But brain teasers are the Riddler's M.O. Not corny old jokes like these.
Perhaps the questions are the clues, not the answers. For example, they all seem to involve animals.
Also numbers. A 500 pound gorilla. A millipede, meaning a thousand legs. And five elephants. Now let's convert them to Roman numerals. [he does, revealing the letters DMV] Look.
DMV.
BABatman and Alfred
Department of Motor Vehicles.
But I recall you mentioning he'd already obliterated his records there, so why return?
For the hard copy.
Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no tales.
Another riddle, Nygma?
[Four quarters and a single penny emerge from the return change chute]
It all makes sense when you add it up.
[In the Batmobile]
Four quarters and a penny, sir?
Penny... Penny... Cent... Red cent... Copper. It's made of copper.
And "copper" is another word for a policeman.
And "no tails" would be heads. Police head... Quarters!
Police Headquarters. Bravo, sir. It does make "cents" when you add it up.
He can't be online. I searched through every file.
You searched the software. Had you bothered to examine the hardware, you would have discovered a cordless modem line.
[Batman and the Riddler clash in the virtual world, each splitting into many duplicates of himself]
Nice try, Batman, but in my world, you play by my rules.
You may control this world, Nygma, but I still control myself.
The name is "Riddler". Edward Nygma doesn't exist anymore. You may recall that he was once fired by an ungrateful employer. That was a private matter and was meant to remain one.
Attempted homicide is never a "private matter", Nygma!
No, but it would have been if you hadn't interfered and turned Edward Nygma into a fugitive! So I deleted Nygma! Just as I'm about to delete you, Batman!
We can keep this up as long as you can! Any number you can think of, we can double!
[Batman remerges back into one]
Tell me, Riddler - how can you split your focus in thirty-two directions, and sustain the consciousness needed to keep your world together? You can't!
No... NO!
[The virtual world starts to collapse]
[After Batman and Robin rescue Gordon from the game]
[still inside] I can escape that easily too! But then, if the planet were equitable, I'd still have my old job! [the screen flickers] No! No, not yet! NO! [screams]
Looked like he suffered some kind of attack, like a sensory overload or something...
But we'll never know for sure, cause we'll never find him.
Oh, no? Come on. I think he left us a clue... "If the planet were equitable, I'd still have my old job".
Of course. If the "World's Fair," I'd still have my "Ex-position". Oh, give me a break.
[Batman, Robin and Gordon find the Riddler, shuddering and irresponsive]
Looks like he didn't escape his virtual reality in time.
You mean he's been trapped inside his own program?
Could be. And how to get him out may be a riddle no one can solve.
S1 E49I Am The Night
A weary body can be dealt with. But a weary spirit? That's something else. Sometimes, old friend, I wonder if I'm really doing any good out there.
How can you doubt it? The lives you've saved, the criminals you've brought to justice--
I've put out a few fires, yes. Won a few battles. But the war goes on, Alfred. On and on...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Batman: The Animated Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.