Batman: The Animated Series · Season 2
You know, there's something the brains back at the joint didn't think about.
Yeah, what's that?
Crocodile's got the strongest jaws of any animal around. [bites his handcuffs in half]
[spits the coffee out of his mouth and pins Croc with the shotgun] Get back!
[Batman arrives with his shadow. Goliath wakes up and Batman covers Goliath's mouth by calming him down]
Calm down, I won't hurt you. I'm just looking for someone: half man, half crocodile. [Goliath looks over worriedly] He's in there, isn't he?
[Pushes Batman to the cage] No! Stay away! [Holds him against it] He's one of us. Croc, run!
[Kicks Goliath into the stomach] I don't wanna hurt you.
Don't worry, you won't. [Hits Batman with the big punch and Batman and Goliath starts fighting]
[Comes out of the house] You. [Gives Batman a spear]
Richard, help!
Quickly, quickly! [Opens the cage] In there.
Ha! Who's the freak now, Bats?
Who is he?
A nutcase in a mask, he's the one who put me in the tank.
Don't listen to him. His name's Killer Croc, he's dangerous.
[Bangs hard on Batman] QUIET! Don't think you're gonna fool my friends, do ya? They know my story, I'm one of them.
Yes. And his chains speaks more eloquently than any words of yours.
Listen to me, he's an escaped convict a cold-blooded killer.
[Shoves Batman to the cage wall] I said shut up!
What he said, it's not true, is it? You're being square with us, aren't you, Croc?
'Course I am. I ain't the one attacked big boy in his sleep, am I?
What are we gonna do?
Get rid of him. [Walks to the farm house wall]
What do you mean?
[Grabs a pitch fork to kill Batman] If he gets loose, he'll bring em' all down on us. No one safe, the bat's gotta go.
It's your last hunt, Bats, and now you're the prey. [Threatens Batman to kill him with a pitch fork] Hahahahahaha...
[Holds Croc on his leg] Croc, no! Don't do this.
You can't! It's not right.
I can and I will! [Continues to threat Batman]
[Grabs a pitch fork from him] No killing! [Breaks a pitch fork in half]
(to Goliath) Why, you dirty...? [Jumps on him] Stay out of this! [Points at Batman] This is between me and the bat.
[Goes near the cage] But, you can't kill him. He's still a human being.
(to May & June) Who are you calling human?
[Inverts his outfit] Oh, Croc.
[Picks up the broken pitch fork stick] Alas! I fear that the chameleon has shown his true colors. I think you should to leave, my friend, we had enough of these shenanigans.
(looks at Batman and to Billy) [Attempts to use the 3 bat-smokes out of bat utility belt] Well, kid, looks like we're gonna have to postpone a little swim.
WATCH OUT!
[Killer Croc stuns them with a bat smoke] Hey! [They coughs and lies down to the ground]
(to Batman) The bigger they are, eh, Bats? [Batman looks at him]
Why, Croc? Why'd you turn on us like that? We could have helped you, we could have done something.
You said you can be yourself out here, remember? Well, I guess that's what I was doing - being myself.
Let's get something straight from the get-go. I think you're a freak and a menace, and those are your good points. But the commish says you serve a purpose, so I go along.
I appreciate your honesty. What's the problem?
Somebody's got it in for me. Tried to give me a fender massage last night. It ain't the first time. Last week too.
Any suspects?
So many, they could have their own zip code. I've put a lot of guys away, and they hate me for it. Looks like one of them hates me enough to do something about it.
Why me? Why not just go to the department?
I step on a lot of toes. I don't want Internal Affairs looking at me too close. They might find some things I don't want found.
Are you on the take?
Watch it, freak! I never took a dime from nobody! I just bend the rules a little sometimes, you understand. We're not all that different.
We're on the same side, but we're not the same. I'll help you find out who's after you, but you've got to collar them clean.
We are speaking of the same person, are we not? Harvey Bullock? The detective who looks like an unmade bed?
The same.
He came to you for help? It must be serious.
Bullock? You okay? You don't look so good. I mean, you never look good, but today you look worse.
After fifteen years working in this cesspool, I'd like to see how good you look!
[In the Batmobile]
Nice starship you got here. What's this for? [points towards a button]
Passenger ejector seat.
By the way, I still think you're a freak, but... thanks.
Basic fifty-fifty option. You get him off, you both go free. He goes down, you take the fall with him.
Amusing idea, what? Kidnapping you to be Batman's attorney?
Personally, I suggested a quick slug between the eyes... but I lost the coin toss.
Court is now in session! The Good People of Arkham Asylum vs. the Self-Righteous Vigilante Called Batman! Our prosecutor is ready, likewise our fair and impartial jury.
Hang him!
Shoot him!
Hit him with a rock!
And now, all rise for the most honorable, most benevolent, most merciful Judge Joker!
GUILTY!
I was promised a chance to defend my client!
Oh, very well. Like it'll make a difference.
I suppose that you, like your friends, claim that Batman drove you to be a criminal?
He did.
And yet, as I recall in your case, you brainwashed and kidnapped a woman who rejected you.
Batman forced me to do it! He was going to take her away from me! I had no choice!
You could have respected her wishes and left her alone.
I'D HAVE KILLED HER FIRST! [gasps and covers his mouth, then turns to the Joker] I'd like that last statement stricken from the record, please.
Record? Is someone supposed to be writing this down?
And so it's Batman's fault you lead a life of crime?
He should have let me bump off Harvey Dent. We'd all have been better off - wouldn't we, Harv?
[muttering while flipping his coin] Why, you rotten little...
But Miss Isley, isn't the real motivation for your crimes your obsession with plants? That you prefer them to people?
I love plants, honey, but a rose is a rose.
Then it doesn't bother you when someone, let's say the judge here, [plucks the flower from the Joker's robe] ruthlessly plucks a defenceless flower from the warm green earth?
No!
Even knowing he's given it his death sentence? That its petals must die? [starts pulling its petals out]
Stop it...!
One by one, withering, falling. One by one till it's all gone, honey.
[She crushes the flower so that it crumbles apart. Ivy attacks her, and the Scarecrow and Mad Hatter rush in to restrain her]
Miss Ivy, please!
You look beautiful when you're angry.
[Ivy smacks the Ventriloquist in the face, and Scarface laughs]
I used to believe Batman was responsible for you people. But now I see nearly everyone here would have ended up exactly the same, Batman or not. Oh, the gimmicks might be different, but you'd all be out there in some form or another bringing misery to Gotham. The truth is, you created him.
Well done, counsellor. You've proven that Batman didn't create us - that we, in fact, messed up our own rotten lives! And as we are so rotten, vile and depraved... we're going to waste you anyway!
[The inmates cheer and close in on Batman and Janet]
A-bi-a-bi-a-bi, that's all, folks! [bangs down a rubber chicken] Let's mambo!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Batman: The Animated Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
