"Where does a 500 pound gorilla sleep?" "What's worse than a millipede with flat feet?" "How do you stuff five elephants into a compact car?"
Anywhere it wants, a giraffe with a sore throat, and two in the front seat, two in the back, and one in the trunk.
Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. Any schoolboy knows those. But brain teasers are the Riddler's M.O. Not corny old jokes like these.
Perhaps the questions are the clues, not the answers. For example, they all seem to involve animals.
Also numbers. A 500 pound gorilla. A millipede, meaning a thousand legs. And five elephants. Now let's convert them to Roman numerals. [he does, revealing the letters DMV] Look.
BA Batman and Alfred
Department of Motor Vehicles.
But I recall you mentioning he'd already obliterated his records there, so why return?
Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no tales.
[Four quarters and a single penny emerge from the return change chute]
It all makes sense when you add it up.
[In the Batmobile]
Four quarters and a penny, sir?
Penny... Penny... Cent... Red cent... Copper. It's made of copper.
And "copper" is another word for a policeman.
And "no tails" would be heads. Police head... Quarters!
Police Headquarters. Bravo, sir. It does make "cents" when you add it up.
He can't be online. I searched through every file.
You searched the software. Had you bothered to examine the hardware, you would have discovered a cordless modem line.
[Batman and the Riddler clash in the virtual world, each splitting into many duplicates of himself]
Nice try, Batman, but in my world, you play by my rules.
You may control this world, Nygma, but I still control myself.
The name is "Riddler". Edward Nygma doesn't exist anymore. You may recall that he was once fired by an ungrateful employer. That was a private matter and was meant to remain one.
Attempted homicide is never a "private matter", Nygma!
No, but it would have been if you hadn't interfered and turned Edward Nygma into a fugitive! So I deleted Nygma! Just as I'm about to delete you, Batman!
We can keep this up as long as you can! Any number you can think of, we can double!
[Batman remerges back into one]
Tell me, Riddler - how can you split your focus in thirty-two directions, and sustain the consciousness needed to keep your world together? You can't!
[The virtual world starts to collapse]
[After Batman and Robin rescue Gordon from the game]
[still inside] I can escape that easily too! But then, if the planet were equitable, I'd still have my old job! [the screen flickers] No! No, not yet! NO! [screams]
Looked like he suffered some kind of attack, like a sensory overload or something...
But we'll never know for sure, cause we'll never find him.
Oh, no? Come on. I think he left us a clue... "If the planet were equitable, I'd still have my old job".
Of course. If the "World's Fair," I'd still have my "Ex-position". Oh, give me a break.
[Batman, Robin and Gordon find the Riddler, shuddering and irresponsive]
Looks like he didn't escape his virtual reality in time.
You mean he's been trapped inside his own program?
Could be. And how to get him out may be a riddle no one can solve.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Batman: The Animated Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
