Back at the Barnyard Season 1 quotes

[about to fall from the trapeze with Pig] I'm sorry, Pig. I never should have asked you to do this.

I think we'll be okay as long as we hit the net.

Um... Yeah, listen...

There is no net, is there?

Not really, no.

View quote →

[The Farmer sees a crowd of people outside the barn, chanting "Weevils!", as in Otis' band.]

Farmer

Weevils? The only bugs I truly fear! To the weevil shelter!

View quote →

Where have you guys been? We're on live in 20 minutes.

Sorry, Peck. Freddy tossed the limo driver out of the car.

I told him not to look me in the eye. And would you please refer to me by my new name, this? [shows an abstract symbol on a piece of paper]

[spits out bottled water] What is this?! I specifically requested spring water from a Peruvian glacier. This is from some other dumb glacier!

[enters] Greetings, all. I'd like you to meet my entourage.

GGoat

'Sup?

Hey! How come he gets an entourage?!

Pig, that's not an entourage, that's just an old goat.

Yeah, well, that's one more goat than you got, sweetheart.

I could've gotten a goat. [the three start arguing] I can get a goat! I can get a goat any time...

So go get one. I don't see you getting a goat.

I repeat, how come...

[enters in a flashy suit, top hat, and sunglasses, speaking in a British accent] Ahem! Hello, mates. Are you all ready for tonight's telly broadcast? Huh? What-what? Big Ben. Fish and chips.

Otis, what are you talking like a pirate for?

And what's with the new clothes? You're gonna upstage everyone!

Sorry, blokes. I can't hear ya. As it turns out, I'm a huge rock star, right on!

[Everyone starts arguing as Pip records.]

Don't look me in the eyes.

Great stuff. Great stuff!

[Everyone keeps arguing.]

STOP IT!!! Just look at what success has done to us! [sobs] I thought we were all friends. I thought each of us contributed to our sound. Are you too self-centered to see that stardom... [voice breaking] ...is tearing us apart?

I'm sorry, what do you play again?

[normal voice] It's a thing that makes a noise. Why, it's clangy, is it?

Give us the first letter.

Is it a tuba?

Is it made out of a car?

I can rewind the tape.

Is it bigger than a breadbox?

Oh, it's a breadbox!

[fed up] That's it, I'm outta here! And I'm taking my triangle... with me!

Oh, I got it! It's a triangle!

Triangle. Oh...

That was it!

Wait! Peck, come on, don't run out on us now! [the door slams]

Those breadbox players are real whackjobs, aren't they?

Expensive, too.

View quote →

You haven't seen your parents in 12 years? How come?

Huh? No reason! I don't have some deep, dark secret I've been keeping from you for years, if that's what you're thinking! [everyone else stares at him in confusion] Stop looking at me! [runs off screaming]

View quote →

AAll

Happy birthday, Freddy!

You guys, you shouldn't have!

Don't be silly, Freddy. You're family. Oh, and speaking of family, we invited your parents and they're gonna be here any minute!

[horrified] AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Wow, he really is surprised!

Otis, my parents can NOT come here! You have to uninvite them!

Uninvite--? Freddy, they totally miss you. They can't wait to see you.

[sobs] No, you don't understand! They're not like you and me!

Oh, now, everybody thinks their parents are a little weird, Freddy. Mine put ketchup on their hay.

Yeah, and mine think leprechauns are stealing their gold.

You see? Pig's parents are stupid and crazy.

Oh, you know it.

View quote →

[seeing Freddy hug his parents] Awww, how come we never group hug?

'Cause nobody wants to touch you.

You're shallow.

View quote →

[Freddy has shooed all the hens out of the henhouse to keep his parents from eating them.]

[unaware of Freddy's intentions] Freddy, what are you doing?! You know I don't like letting the hens out where predators could eat them!

You're right! That would be terrible! [to his parents] Terribly delicious. [to Otis] Oh, why won't those predators leave our poor chick-chicks alone... [to his parents] ...with us, so we can eat them. [to Otis] 'Cause you know how I love to eat chic-- [pauses, then runs away screaming]

View quote →

[After Freddy has interrupted his parents' slideshow by smashing the projector.]

Alright, Freddy, you got 10 seconds to explain why you're acting like such a blockhead!

[sighs] I should have known I couldn't keep it a secret any longer. [picks up one of the slides] This is a traditional holiday dinner.

[looks at the slide] Yeah, so? It's just you and your folks sitting down to a delicious meal of--AAH, ROASTED ANIMAL!!! [shudders]

Now do you get it?! My parents are freakish, deviant meat-eaters!

Can't believe it. They seemed so nice.

Yeah, when they're not gorging on anything with gizzards and a beak! That's why I never told them about Peck.

View quote →

[to the sheep] Guys, guys, have any of you seen Peck?

S1Sheep 1

He just left.

S2Sheep 2

Just now with your parents.

What?!

Oh, no! They're gonna put him in the oven and baste him every 10 minutes until golden brown! [calmly] Then, a pinch of brown sugar to taste. For crispier skin, try rotating halfway through cooking time, and for--

Uh, you wanna stop that?

[back to panicking] I mean, we gotta save him!

View quote →

Your parents are great, Fred! They were just giving me the most wonderful steam bath.

Actually, Peck, they were about to cook you and eat you.

Well, sure. They were about to--[yells in shock] WITH THE COOKING AND THE EATING!!!

FMr. Ferret

Son, why are you calling tonight's dinner "Peck"?

Guys, I have something to tell you.

Freddy...

It's okay, Otis. I'm done lying. Mom, Dad, Peck isn't dinner. He's my best friend. And I'm not a voracious chicken-eater! I'm a vegetarian! [his parents gasp] And if you can't deal with that, then I say good day, sir! And Mrs. Sir.

FMr. Ferret

[angrily] Frederick, get over here right NOW... [warmly] ...and give your old man a hug.

[hugs his father] You mean, you're not ashamed of me?

FMrs. Ferret

Oh, honey, of course we are.

FMr. Ferret

Ashamed and disgraced.

FMrs. Ferret

And don't forget humiliated.

FMr. Ferret

We'll probably have to change our names.

FMrs. Ferret

And I'm sure our neighbors will pelt us with trash.

FMr. Ferret

I know I would.

FMrs. Ferret

But as long as you're happy, dear, I guess we could learn to live with it.

FMr. Ferret

I suppose we owe your friend an apology. Sorry we almost ate you, Peck.

Ah, I can't stay mad at you guys.

Group hug! [hugs his parents and Peck]

Okay, whoa, whoa, just whoa! Hold up. [to Freddy] Your parents eat farm animals, [to Freddy's parents] your kid is a vegetarian, [to Peck] your best friend's parents just tried to EAT you, AND YOU'RE ALL COOL WITH THAT?!

Uh-huh.

Yep.

FMrs. Ferret

Sure are!

FMr. Ferret

Pretty much.

Sweet, just checkin'.

View quote →

Hi, uncle. You readin' the paper?

[to himself] Don't move. They can't see you if you don't move.

[steals Mr. Beady's newspaper] Huh? How's this page? [rips up Mr. Beady's newspaper] Is this a good article? How about this one? Heh? [sees a ship in a bottle next to the TV] Ohhhh! [picks up the bottle] Are you building a ship?

[frantic] No! That took me three days--

Tidal wave! [drops the bottle, and it shatters]

[groans]

You're boring! They should call you Mr. Boring! I'm gonna go play with the animals next door, Mr. Boring!

Okay, I got your drinks--[Snotty Boy has left; to Mr. Beady] What did you say to him?!

Aww...

View quote →

[after Snotty Boy has woken up with amnesia] Oh, he's seen us! He'll tell others! We'll all be sold on the internet!

View quote →

[Pig - disguised as Snotty Boy - has seen an amnesiac Snotty Boy at the door.]

Did I hear someone at the door?

[blocking the door] No, no! What door? We don't have any doors.

[moves Pig aside] Oh, don't you be such a little silly-willy-billy-dilly-billy. [opens the door]

Good afternoon, ma'am. The nice theater troupe man said I'm your nephew.

Sweetums, why are you outside, when you are standing right next to me? [sees Pig] AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Auntie Nora, he's clearly an imposter. He's probably one of those talking animals from next door in disguise.

Yes. That's the only explanation. He's not even wearing proper clothes. [to Snotty Boy] Get out of here, you camel or whatever you are. Scoot, or I'll call the police! GET OUT!!! [shuts out Snotty Boy]