How will we survive without Otis?!
Don't worry, Freddy. When the sad day comes, I'll take over as the leader.
[Beat.]
HOW WILL WE SURVIVE WITHOUT OTIS?! [sobs]
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I'm home, Nora. Please be normal.
I don't understand. And I've done everything I've always dreamed of. Swum with dolphins, grown a goatee, brought peace to the Baltic nations, married an ice cream cone, I directed a reality show, I was a sad clown in a French circus. Why do I still feel empty inside?
[On the railroad track near Otis, the pizza twins ride in on a handcar.]
PTPizza Twin #1
Oh, yeah, bro!
[Otis gasps and drops on all fours as the twins stop their handcar.]
PTPizza Twin #1
Dude, we forgot to go to work today.
PTPizza Twin #2
Dude, we got fired a week ago!
PTPizza Twin #1
Aaa... awesome!
PTPizza Twins
Doodly-doodly-doo-doo! [resume riding the handcar]
PTPizza Twin #2
So totally! We're pumpin'! We're pumpin'!
[gets back on his feet] How could have I been so blind? Life's not about the stupid stuff you do. It's about the stupid stuff you do with your friends. I'm comin' guys! I'm comin'!
[The pizza twins come back on their handcar, riding away from a speeding train as they scream.]
BBessie
[sighs] I'm glad you're not dead.
And we aren't leaving your side until you get better pal.
[Someone honks a car horn]
Dr. Glove is back!
[The animals scatter]
Hey, sweetie, how's my big sweetie, okay? I'm just going to do a little check poo. [snaps glove suggestively]
Moo? [begins screaming hysterically off camera]
[seeing Otis and Pip wearing moose antlers] I've heard of Donner and Blitzen, but nobody told me about Moron and Stupidhead!
[riding on a motorcycle shocked about himself and Pip being mistaken for real moose by bikers] What the cud? Didn't they see we're moose? We're moose!
[trying to get Otis' attention] Uh-- Uh, Otis. I think Moose Appreciation Week might be over.
What are you talking about?
[points out a billboard] Check out that sign.
Moose Hunting Season starts today? AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
[after crashing the motorcycle] Okay, that was not awesome. New plan. We get these antlers off, and never do anything I say again.
[Otis and Pip try to remove the antlers, but they remain firmly to their heads.]
What'd you put on these, glue?
No, I used pastrami. OF COURSE, I USED GLUE, STUPIDHEAD!!!
[walking with his friends and is disappointed at them for losing Otis and Pip after chasing them] I can't believe you guys lost them. You're both, like, lamer, lamer, loser face.
B1Boy 1
We were just following you.
[mocks one of his friends] ”Ooh, we were just following you.” That's so lame, it's incredibly lame. Lucky for you, I have stuper-awesome moose-tracking powers.
Ooh, got a little problem. I have you now, stupid moose. Your majestic antlers will look so sweet and toasty on my clubhouse wall. [a giant wooden moose appears behind Snotty Boy when he isn't looking]
[who is revealed to be inside the wooden moose] I don't think so! [Snotty Boy looks behind as the wooden moose stops him from terrorizing Otis and Pip] Step away from my moose friends before I smack you upside the head! [Abby giggles]
A giant devil moose? Don't eat me!
Don't worry. I wouldn't dream of eating you-- raw!
[The wooden moose breathes fire through its nostrils and scares away Snotty Boy and the barn animals cheer.]
[Otis is being honored for saving Snotty Boy's life.]
MMayor
And so, in honor of this noble moose, who risked his life for a child, I hereby abolish Moose Hunting Season and make it Moose Appreciation Week all year long!
[Otis and Pip are eating candy from their gift basket, while Abby, Bessy, Pig, Peck, and Duke are still inside the giant wooden moose.]
Man, this candy's good, isn't it?
Yeah, glad to hear it, Otis. Now, can you get us out of here, please? There's only one exit, and Pig's stuck in it.
This is so not shaboogie.
Shaboopie!
Uh, don't worry about it. Freddy'll have you out in no time.
[Freddy passes by with a ladder. He climbs up the wooden moose with the ladder.]
Okay, guys. This is my first moose, so close your eyes, pretend you're in a pencil cup, [holds up a chainsaw] and hope for the best! [starts cutting through the moose as the animals inside scream in horror]
[Otis and the animals are at the circus parade, standing behind the crowd of people.]
This stinks, I can't see a thing! [notices a water tower] Hey, let's climb that water tower and get a better view.
[The animals mutter with uncertainty.]
I can see fine from here.
Too high.
[Otis sneaks behind the other animals, and imitates each of them.]
[imitates Pig] Good idea, Otis. [imitates Abby] Count me in! [imitates Freddy] I WANNA EAT PECK!!! [imitates Peck] What Freddy said was weird, but I also would like to climb that tower.
[The animals agree and head to the water tower.]
Well, since everyone else wants to.
I'm down.
Let's do it.
You got it!
I'm in.
[The animals are climbing the water tower.]
[grunts] Just a little bit higher, guys.
[A loud, low creaking noise is heard as the water tower shakes.]
Pig?
Yeah.
Tell me that's your stomach.
Uh, it's not me.
Milk me.
[The water tower tips over. The animals scream as they fall off. The water tower crashes on the circus parade.]
Oh no, I smushed the circus!
[The crowd hears Otis, and turn around. They see the animals on all fours.]
Moo.
Oink, oink.
Cock-a-doodle... eh, doo.
Ferret, ferret!
MMMexican Man
[speaking Spanish, translated] I suspect that perhaps a white cow with black spots used fabric shears to extract the ponytail from my head!
Otis, I need to talk to you for a minute.
You got it, star performer, without whom, we have no show!
Otis, I can't do the triple flipperoo.
[shocked] What? But you said you could! Wow, what a liar.
No, I mean, I won't do it. Not after... that terrible night. [looks up]
What's over there? What are you looking at?
[A flashback shows Abby performing her trick at circus camp. The crowd chants as she flips in the air.]
CCrowd
One! Two! Three!
[Abby catches the other trapeze, and reaches out to catch her partner, a horse, but she misses, causing the horse to fall.]
HHorse
Abby... WHYYY...?!
[Abby watches in horror as the horse crashes to the ground. Back in the present day...]
And it was all my fault.
Wow. So did he...
Get horribly injured? No. He was okay, though he still smiles at the wrong things.
[After Abby panics at the last second of her trapeze practice with Otis.]
Okay, that was SO opposite the plan! I just almost let go, and your loud words would not have prevented the shattering of my many bones!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Back at the Barnyard pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.