It'll be a bit of a squeeze.
Ah, but there's not much traffic on this type of road, man. Howay, let's give him a ride, eh? [Dennis stops the car. Neville winds his window down.] Howay!
[Waking up] Why have we stopped?
Good Samaritans, aren't we? Hitch-hiker. [He runs across the bridge to the car.]
Hey, it's a bloke! There's no room for a bloke! A Swedish girl, maybe we could fit her in, but... but not a bloke!
Colin[Looks inside the car] ...Bitte?
...Where you go? [Points to the road ahead] You go east?
Colin
Are you English?
Colin
Yeah.
Colin
Cheers. [Gets in the back next to Moxey. They drive off.]
You, er, on holiday, are you?
Colin
[Hesitantly] ...Yeah.
Took you a while to get a lift, did it?
Colin
...Yeah.
Colin
...This way. [Nods forward and chuckles]
It's a bit of a back road this, isn'it, if yer hitchin'?
Colin
...Well you... you can't hitch-hike on the Autobahns, can ya?
Ah, na. No. Suppose not. But hey, we're just headed to the back end of nowhere here, mind.
Colin
Anywhere's fine by me.
You've no place in mind, then?
Colin
...No, I was... I was headed south, er... I know this girl in Munich.
It's not the way to Munich, this.
Colin
Well, I'm in no hurry, er... Thought I'd see a bit of the countryside first.
Colin
I'm a student. I'm, er... I'm just seeing a bit of the countryside.
Travel's an education in itself, isn'it?
Colin
So they say, yes. So they say.
I'm Bomber, this is Moxey. [Points to the front seats] Dennis and Neville.
I'm Neville. [Points to Dennis] He's Dennis.
Colin
...I'm Colin. Listen... what do you lads do then?
Best not to ask. Wanted by INTERPOL in eight countries, we are! [The lads laugh.]
That's real fresh air that, Neville.
I need that after last night's beer.
I hope you're keeping a tab on everything, Dennis.
Yeah. You know? Share all expenses, in't we? Even stevens, like. Hotel bills, hire of the rods, grub, you know. Stuff like that.
[Stops in front of Barry] Barry, d'you ever leave off, eh?
Look, Dennis, somebody's got to think of these things in the absence of an elected leader, you know, haven't they?
Colin
Mornin'.
Mornin'! [Colin gets up. He's freezing.]
Colin
I... I couldn't get a lift, so I kipped down.
Well, why didn't you stay with us? You could've stayed in the village.
Colin
...No, well I've been camping, y'see.
Well, a bedroll don't take up much room, do it?
You've been sleepin' rough, haven't you?
Colin
Just last night, that's all.
Colin
I'll be okay, honest. I'm all right. [Starts to walk off.]
[To Colin] Listen. We're stayin' at a place in the village.
Colin
Yeah, I know where.
Right. There's my room key. Get yoursel' back there, have a hot bath, get yerself summat to eat, then have a good kip.
Colin
Are you sure?
Go on, before you catch pneumonia.
Colin
[Takes the key] Cheers. Thanks very much. [Walks off towards town.]
C'mon, lads, we've got some fishin' to do!
Colin
It ain't much of a story, as it happens. There's this German girl, she lives in Heinsburg, near Munich. We got engaged at Christmas. I was gonna stay in Germany. If I couldn't get a job, go back to the UK. Then last week, she breaks it off, just like that.
Colin
It happens though, don't it?
And there's, erm, no possibility of a reconciliation, I suppose?
Colin
It's finished.
Well, you should've told us this yesterday, an' then you wouldn't have had to kip in a field.
Colin
[Hesitates] ...Yeah ...Well, thanks for the meal, and everything. Much obliged. [Starts to get up, but is stopped by Bomber]
Where are you headed, then?
Colin
...South. I'm going south. Erm... Geneva. I thought I might get a job there as a waiter or something like that.
Hey, he can come back with us.
Colin
No. ...No, I couldn't do your blokes' sort of work.
Aye, aye. You can shovel, be a labourer.
Colin
...Could I?
Ah, of course you could. Couldn't he, Den?
Well, don't ask me. It's up to the lad.
Colin
All right, Nev?
Yeah. Are you ready for more?
Colin
Yeah.
Yeah, it's all totally different over here. See, in Germany, us brickies have to do our own labouring.
Colin
Do you?
Oh, aye. There's just one over boss, Grunwald, and his sidekick, Ulrich. They're the only two you've got to watch out for, right?
Colin
How do you get on with the Germans?
Oh, okay. They're just canny lads, mostly, like the rest of us. [Adds some water to the concrete mix] Only smarter!
Colin
How do you mean, "smarter"?
Well... yer kna, better turned out. See, the Brits are really scruffy, we wear jeans and sneakers, that kind of thing. Oh, and they never wear their hard hats. Nah, the Erics, they're, er... they're more military. Here, grab a hold of them, will yer?
Colin
Here, Nev, what do you call the Germans "Erics" for?
Well, if we want to talk about one of them in front of them, like, we call 'em Eric, and that way the Germans think we're talkin' about some bloke called Eric. Good, innit?
Colin
Yeah.
Yeah, and then there's a lot of Turks over here an' all, and a couple of Dutch. The Turks mainly like in the hut next to us. [Notices Herr Ulrich on site with two policemen investigating the vandals. Thinking they're coming for him, he runs away] Some Greeks, but not many of them, like. [Turns round notices Colin running away] Colin? What's the matter? [Herr Ulrich and the policemen walk past Neville to examine the graffiti.]
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet · 320 quotes
