Steve Holt's not my son.
Steve Holt? The moron jock?
That's my son, you pothead!
S3 E3Forget-Me-Now
Michael did try again with Rita, but this time determined to keep no secrets.
I want to tell you everything if... if you're willing to listen.
I'm a very good listener.
Great. Start with the misdemeanors and then, we're gonna' push right on through to the lighter treasons. So, 1983...
S3 E4Notapusy
Hey, can you do me a favor? A young neighborhood tough by the name of Steve Holt will be dropping by, and...
Your son?
According to him.
And a DNA test.
I heard the jury's still out on science.
[During a work-out montage with Michael]
Don't ask "can I?," ask "I can!"
You can control your bladder when you're dead!
No blood, no oil!
There's no "I" in "win"!
S3 E5Mr. F
Besides, I already got George Michael the big present for his birthday...
A suit! Dad, is it Jack Welch?
I want you to look under the pants.
Quicken! Premiere! Dad, I hope you kept the receipt.
You want to return that?
What? No, I want to deduct it.
Hey, maybe that's it. Maybe we should do to the Japanese what they do in their movies. Build a miniature city, put it outside the window, tell them it's far away. It'll look real if you squint. God knows they're squinters. [looks at Larry the surrogate] What do you think, Dad? A whole, tiny town.
GSGeorge Sr./Larry
Another brilliant idea, Einstein.
Really? You'd like to build it with me?
GSGeorge Sr./Larry
Larry really never knows how to sell the sarcasm. It's a stupid idea.
BLBob Loblaw
If you take money from these people under false pretenses, you’ll be committing fraud. The government’s already watching your father pretty closely. They’re going through his mail. They want to put your father in prison for good.
Yeah, Bob’s right. We’ve got to start thinking practically. Life is not some cheesy Japanese movie where the hero pulls on a pair of jet pants and...
LLarry
...flies off the balcony like Astro Boy.
And that’s when George Sr. did a Web search for the words “jet pants.”
Even better.
S3 E6The Ocean Walker
She's sweet. She's smart. She's beautiful. She's special.
[Flashback]
She was special.
Are houses terribly hard to make?
Actually, the hardest part is finding the land.
But she wasn't smart...
Instead of making houses, maybe you should make land.
...for Rita had only mentally progressed...
On the ocean.
...to the level of a first grader.
There's no land on the ocean.
Michael might have noticed her disability if it had not been masked by her English accent.
[pause] You are brilliant.
Yeah. She wasn't.
Rita corny, Michael.
So Michael used a line that was just as corny.
You know, I think that we should wait until after we're married.
[Michael has just revealed that he knows Rita is mentally challenged]
You found out.
Took me long enough.
Maybe you're not smart, either! I didn't know until they told me.
S3 E7Prison Break-In
Can't a guy call his mother pretty without it seeming strange?
Amen. And how about that little piece of tail on her? Cute!
I've opened a door here that I regret.
Oh, he's just talking about his stupid turtle.
She has a name, Mother, and it's Mother.
I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture.
S3 E8Making a Stand
And that goes into storage, right? Not into your apartment.
PPainter
Que?
[to Michael] What's Spanish for "I know you speak English"?
I've got this Christian girlfriend now and she's trying to get me to be a better man and reconnect with my son and I'm trying to get her to renounce God and [bleep] me and I just want to prove to her that I'm worth it.
S3 E9S.O.B.s
That's the point, Dad. Mr. Loblaw no longer works for us because someone wanted a boyfriend.
Well, don't blame me!
I was talking to Lindsay, actually, but he was clearly turned off to the both of you.
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