Joan Burton quotes from Army Wives

Trevor

[salutes] Corporal LeBlanc reporting as ordered, Ma'am.

Joan

[salutes back] At ease, Corporal. You take a public ass-kicking very well.

Trevor

[laughs] Thank you ma'am. And you publicly kick-ass very well, if you don't mind me saying.

Joan

Ah, sorry about that. I had to make it feel real for Major Dandridge to see.

Trevor

Understood.

Joan

Now that that's over with, I'll make sure that Colonel Connor's letter of reprimand is removed from your record.

Trevor

[smiles] Thank you ma'am.

Joan

And that, Corporal LeBlanc, should clear the way for you to start thinking about taking the steps to becoming "Sergeant LeBlanc".

Trevor

Yes ma'am!

Joan

Did you get the meat thermometer?

Roland

No.

Joan

Roland.

Roland

But, I did win the door prize.

Joan

Really? What was the door prize?

Roland

I'm wearing it. [takes robe off and grins]

Joan

[looks in amazement] Roland! [giggles]

Joan

[reads from her fortune] "You will gain admiration from your pears."

Roland

You mean "peers".

Joan

[shows Roland the fortune] It says pears, like the fruit.

Roland

[chuckles] I'm sure the apples and oranges would admire you too.

Joan

[squeals] Roland! Did you hear that?!

Roland

Hear what?

Joan

She said Mama!

Roland

It doesn't count unless she repeats it.

Joan

[to Sara Elizabeth] Mama, mama. Come on, baby girl, say Mama!

Roland

[amused] Ok...

Joan

Yesterday when I came home, Sara Elizabeth didn't respond to me and I couldn't get her to settle down last night. Roland had to do it.

Pamela

Wow.

Joan

Yeah. I know that'll change but I was asking myself, why do I put my family through that? Why do I put myself through that?

Pamela

Why do you?

Joan

What does Chase tell you?

Pamela

Not much. But he doesn't want to leave Delta.

Joan

I take it that's a problem.

Pamela

Yeah.

Joan

Well, if he's like other operators I know, it's not that he won't leave Delta. He can't. You see, for soldiers like us, the Army isn't just a job. It's our life. God knows, I love my family, but when duty calls, I answer. It's who I am. I can't explain it any better than that.

Joan

Hi! We're the Burtons and we want to introduce ourselves to you. I'm Joan, this is my husband Roland and our daughter Sara Elizabeth.

Roland

And we want your baby!

Joan

[slaps him on the knee] Roland!

Roxy

I think it's really great, what you guys are doing.

Joan

Well, I just hope you all will love him as much as we do.

Roxy

[smiles] Oh, I know we will.

Joan

Roxy, may I ask you a question?

Roxy

Sure.

Joan

You already had the boys before you married Trevor. How long was it before they started calling him "Dad"?

Roxy

Gosh, uh... [thinking] I think Finn started almost right away. Of course, you know Finn, he's just that way. It took TJ a while longer. Kids are different. I don't really think it's something you can force.

Joan

Right. I was just wondering.

Roxy

For what it's worth I think David's a really lucky kid to have you and Roland as parents.

Joan

Charlie Mayfield thinks that she can get away with anything because she's colorful

Roland

Which pushes your buttons. Obviously.

Joan

It is not personal. I have a garrison to run. If people don't follow regs, discipline erodes.

Roland

[pauses] Right.

Joan

Don't say it like that.

Roland

I'm just s– [looks at Joan] I'm just saying that a woman's gotta do her job. You should've seen our son. He loved it there.

Joan

I'm not saying he can't go back. I'm just saying sh––

Roland

She's a pain in your butt.

Joan

[looks at Roland] Exactly.

Roland

[looks at Joan's butt] And such a nice butt too.

Joan

[stops and looks at Roland] Stop... [laughs]

Joan

Hoping those eggs are hard-boiled.

Trevor

Oh they are. Believe me, Roxy doesn't want anything messing up her new home.

Joan

It's lovely.

Trevor

Thanks. She's been taking her time putting stuff up on the walls, says she wants a "new look". You know what that means.

Roland

She told me she was eyeing on some new furniture.

Trevor

I know. Scares me.

TJ

Heads up!

Ow!

TJ

My bad!

Joan

Woah, woah, one at a time!

Roland

[observing] Animals.

Denise

Kids.

Roland

Same thing.

Trevor

[yawn] Morning.

Denise

Hey Trevor.

Roland

[amused] It's afternoon.

Trevor

Right. Sorry we're late.

Denise

[laughs, to Roland] Give this man a cheese burger.

Roland

I think caffeine's a better call!

Trevor

How about a nap?

Denise

[smiles] Sorry.

Roland

Hey, you knew the job was dangerous when you took it.

Trevor

Yeah but nobody told me how dangerous.

Denise

Welcome to the club, dad.

Trevor

You guys need me? I gotta head up to PX. We're out of diapers and....a few million other things.

Roland

You're relieved of duty, Lieutenant.

Trevor

[relieved] Thanks.

Denise

I will bring the boys home when this is over.

Trevor

[looks at Denise] Really?

Roland

Go! Go!

Roland

[watches Trevor leave] Been there.

Denise

Hey, I'm still there.