Joan Burton quotes from Army Wives

Joan

[about to tell her staff that she is pregnant] Some of you have probably noticed a few changes in me lately, and I thank you for not bringing them to my attention.

Joan

[holding Sara Elizabeth] How can you love someone so much after only a few days?

Joan

As Garrison Commander, I've got a lot of people watching my every move. As a woman, particularly as a woman of color, I've got to be better than good at this job. I have got to be outstanding. One hint of favoritism, one sign of weakness, my credibility is gone.

Joan

This is Mother Nature's war and she doesn't fight fair.

Roland

Sorry I'm late. I got dinner.

Joan

I already had dinner. It's in the trash can!

Roland

I see.

Joan

[gags] Oh baby, whatever that is, it's –– it's not welcome here!

Roland

Ok, ok, I got it. [takes food outside] You ok now?

Joan

[drinks water] My body's being invaded. I'm no longer a person, I'm a host!

Joan

[trying her best to hide her nausea] Deployment papers ready for your signature sir.

Michael

Which unit is leaving next?

Joan

3rd Brigade Combat Team.

Michael

All right. Thank you, Joan.

Joan

Yes, sir. [turns to leave]

Michael

Oh, wait. [Joan stops in her tracks] I'd like you to pull their files for me.

Joan

All of them, sir? There's almost 500. [Michael looks up at her] I'll have them on your desk by this afternoon–– [dashes to the trash can and vomits in it]

Michael

[stoically] I'm guessing that's either bad sushi or you decided to keep the baby.

Joan

[regains composure] The baby.

Joan

Roland, I like logic, discipline, control. It makes me feel safe. That's why I love the Army. But now, I don't know. Sometimes I don't feel logical or in control

Roland

It's normal. And it's also temporary.

Joan

So it is my hormones.

Roland

Yes it is.

Joan

And you can tell the difference when it's me and when it's...

Roland

The 'mones? Yeah, I can tell the difference.

Joan

[sighs in relief] Good. 'Cause I can't, I really can't. This morning, I threw up on General Holden.

Roland

Ouch. [both laugh]

Joan

I just had a thought.

Roland

What?

Joan

Since my hormones are up and about anyway...

Roland

[grins] Might as well put them to good use.

Joan

Exactly. [they start kissing]

Joan

Whoa! Will there be a quiz?

Roland

Every day until college!

Joan

Evan, hey I wanted to thank you for reminding me of the pregnancy limits yesterday.

Glad I could help

Joan

Yeah, I had a discussion with General Holden and we agreed that I need to restrict myself to eight hours a day until my maternity leave.

Well, every regulation has its purpose.

Joan

Yeah. Hey Evan, check it out. [shows her pregnancy ACU pants]

Nice.

Joan

Feels good to be loose.

Is there anything else I can help you with?

Joan

I just wanted you to know that I told the General that I'm happy that you're here. And there's no one more competent to pick up the slack.

You said that to him?

Joan

[nods] I did. And while I'm home resting I'm gonna feel a lot more at ease knowing that you're here filling in for me. [calls out] Corporal, just put them on the Lieutenant Colonel's desk.

[opens a file] What's this?

Joan

It's the bids for all outside vendors who supply goods to the post. They need to be checked for any irregularities and then altered if noted. [pats Connor on the back and turns to leave] Oh. And, uh, General Holden wants them on his desk at 0800 tomorrow.

But this could take all night!

Joan

Yeah, wish I could help. [walks out] Later, Evan!

His dream was to be a doctor and how he's teaching high school. Feels like he lost his way a little.

Joan

Sometimes people run so hard towards something they past by what they really want. I know. I've done it myself. [looks at Sara Elizabeth sleeping in the cot]

[smiles] Thank God he didn't run past you.

Joan

[smiles] Well, he tried. But I tripped him. [both laugh]

Joan

No. No way. They're not getting near our daughter.

I wanted to call 911 on everyone of them. [gets up and leaves room]

Roland

Oh damn it. [looks at Sara Elizabeth] I didn't say that. I didn't say that... [picks up phone to call Joan]

Joan

[hands Trevor a cooler] My house. Fast.

Trevor

Yes ma'am.

Joan

If anyone asks, you're going on a picnic.

Roland

[opens door, relieved to see Trevor] Thought you'd never get here.

Trevor

Sorry, had to wait for that hand-off.

Roland

Yeah pumping can take a lot longer than you might think.

Trevor

Try not to think about it.

Ma'am, I'm sorry they called you over. My Captain is out with a two-day pass and I think his CO might have misunderstood or misstated the seriousness of this--

Joan

All security matters are serious, Sergeant. You responded accordingly.

Ma'am I understand but it may not be classifiable as a security matter per se. Could be an action counter to protocol, or possibly an issue of quarters contraband, or a violation of post policy. Again, ma'am, I am sorry you were contacted.

Joan

Well, I'm here now, so hup to.

Yes ma'am.

[Joan and Sutherland salute him] As you were. Colonel Burton, is that a dog in my office?

Joan

Affirmative, sir.

Why is there a dog in my office?

Joan

Still working out the details, sir. [looks at PV2 Sutherland] Apparently-- [Lucky barks]

Permission to pursue, sir.

Permission granted.

Joan

Apparently this animal has been living in barracks. Rumor has it that he was smuggled from down range.

[surprised] From Iraq?

Stop that dog!

Joan

[PV2 Sutherland is chasing Lucky in the background] Yes, sir. By way of the 315th Airlift Wing. By way of quarantine in Germany. By way of Kuwait, sir. But that's just a rumor.

A little below your pay grade isn't it, Joan. Dog catching?

Joan

Comedy of errors, sir.

Roger that. Go get 'em cowboy.

Joan

LeBlanc!!! Stop that canine!!

Trevor

[whistles to Lucky] Come here! [Lucky runs to him]

Joan

[looks to PV2 Sutherland] Why didn't you think of that?

I'm more of a cat person, ma'am.

Roland

[sees Joan] Hey! Mommy's home.

Joan

Only for a few minutes.

Roland

But you do have time for lunch right?

Joan

[playing with Sara Elizabeth] Hmm?

Roland

Lunch.

Joan

If it's quick. [takes out a file and reads]

Roland

[takes food out of oven] It's not only quick, my dear. It's ready. [brings plate to Joan] First course, ginger shrimp Thai dumplings. You mince the shrimp–– [Joan takes a dumpling and puts it in her mouth without saying a word] ...and let it marinate for three hours in ginger sauce. Add a little fresh cilantro and sc–– [Joan takes another without looking up] ...scallions.

Roland

[awkwardly] Glad you like 'em. [looks at Joan writing in her file] A grocery list?

Joan

[continues writing] Jostling my battle strategy.

Roland

It's a good thing these war games start tomorrow. I like my wife back for at least a little while before she deploys.

Joan

[sighs] I'm gonna mop the floor with Evan Connor. [turns and leaves]