How about if I cut my hair like this?
TrevorLike what?
Shorter. Like this. [folds hair up] That's sexier right?
Trevor
[amused] It's not possible to have anymore sexiness in one woman. Can't be done.
Trevor
Seriously? [Roxy nods] I like your hair the way it is.
Trevor
Is this one of those trick questions like, "Do I look fat?"
Trevor
No, no no. Ok, Rox, I love your hair the way it is and you do not look fat. Now I'm going to the live firing range where things are a lot safer. [leaves room to go to work]
[Roxy sits on the bed and continues looking at catalog]
Trevor
[from outside] Don't cut your hair!
[Brigadier General Holden is walking out of his office with a cup of coffee when Lucky runs past him into his office while Joan and Private Sutherland catch up.]
HHolden
[Joan and Sutherland salute him] As you were. Colonel Burton, is that a dog in my office?
HHolden
Why is there a dog in my office?
Still working out the details, sir. [looks at PV2 Sutherland] Apparently-- [Lucky barks]
PSPV2 Sutherland
Permission to pursue, sir.
HHolden
Permission granted.
Apparently this animal has been living in barracks. Rumor has it that he was smuggled from down range.
HHolden
[surprised] From Iraq?
[Lucky runs into the foyer past the cleaners with PVT Sutherland behind him]
PSPV2 Sutherland
Stop that dog!
[PV2 Sutherland is chasing Lucky in the background] Yes, sir. By way of the 315th Airlift Wing. By way of quarantine in Germany. By way of Kuwait, sir. But that's just a rumor.
HHolden
A little below your pay grade isn't it, Joan. Dog catching?
HHolden
Roger that. Go get 'em cowboy.
[...]
[Trevor is walking along when Lucky runs past him on the lawn.]
LeBlanc!!! Stop that canine!!
Trevor
[whistles to Lucky] Come here! [Lucky runs to him]
[looks to PV2 Sutherland] Why didn't you think of that?
PSPV2 Sutherland
I'm more of a cat person, ma'am.
Trevor
[salutes] Corporal LeBlanc reporting as ordered, Ma'am.
[salutes back] At ease, Corporal. You take a public ass-kicking very well.
Trevor
[laughs] Thank you ma'am. And you publicly kick-ass very well, if you don't mind me saying.
Ah, sorry about that. I had to make it feel real for Major Dandridge to see.
Trevor
Understood.
Now that that's over with, I'll make sure that Colonel Connor's letter of reprimand is removed from your record.
Trevor
[smiles] Thank you ma'am.
And that, Corporal LeBlanc, should clear the way for you to start thinking about taking the steps to becoming "Sergeant LeBlanc".
Trevor
Yes ma'am!
Trevor
It was amazing. Colonel Burton said I should start studying to make Sergeant.
Trevor! I am so proud of you.
Trevor
There's a promotion board I gotta study for, a Warrior Leader Course, but it is so worth it. [notices the "edible underwear" on Roxy's dresser] What's this? [picks it up] It's a....[sniffs] It smells like fruit or something.
Trevor
[sniffs] Yeah, that's it. It's apricot. [looks at it] What is it?
Trevor
Ok, what was it?
[pauses] It's edible underpants.
Trevor
[speechless] What?
Yeah, but Lucky got to it before you came home.
Trevor
[raises eyebrows] I see.
[Roxy is vacuuming while Trevor is studying and the boys are lying around in the living room reading and studying]
Trevor
Roxy! Knock it off!
Trevor
Roxy! Do you mind?
Blame the dang dog. He's the one who dragged in all the dirt. [to Trevor] You want me to fix you a snack while you're studying for your finals?
Trevor
This isn't high school, Rox. It's the promotion board. I gotta earn enough points to make Sergeant.
[picks up a tattered sock chewed off by Lucky] Thought you already had a whole heap of points.
Trevor
Still gotta ace the board.
Trevor
A bunch of NCOs lock me in the room and grill me with questions, that's what. [looks at Roxy] I'd better know the answers.
But we need to make Dad's brain Army strong.
We need to make your brain Army strong.
[...]
[Roxy finds a teacher's note in Finn's textbook]
How long have you had this?
[irritated] You don't know?
I think Miss Hayley says I have a listening problem.
Yeah. Well, I think you have a remembering problem. Were you ever gonna give this to me?
Trevor
[to Finn] Hey, what you meant to say was "I'm sorry Mom. It will never happen again".
[smiles at Roxy] What Dad said!
LLindsay
[walks over] Hey, what are y'all celebrating?
PBPFC Brian Day
[points to Trevor] This man just made Sergeant.
LLindsay
[flirtatiously] Ooooh. Well, does the sergeant speak for himself? [reaches hand out] Hi, I'm Lindsay. What's your name?
Trevor
[shakes hand] I'm Trevor.
LLindsay
Tell me more, Sergeant Trevor, I'm very interested.
[cuts in while Trevor drinks from his bottle, smiles at Lindsay] He's very married! [jokingly to Trevor] You're in big trouble, Mister!
[Trevor laughs and follows her out]
[to Lindsay] Hey, I'm not married.
LLindsay
Oh yeah? What are you?
Private First Class Brian Day, at your service.
LLindsay
Private? [scoffs] As if!
[Sailors sitting behind PFC Day laugh]
PPetty Officer
Guess the lady knows dog meat when she smells it.
[A fight breaks out between PFC Day and the sailors. Trevor and his friends drag PFC Day out through the back door.]
[in amazement] The Hump is officially banned!
Trevor
[confronts PFC Day who is mopping the floor as punishment and angrily kicks his bucket] What's going on with you?
Trevor
Nothing? You're pulling extra duty for missing formation. You've been insubordinate. And what about last night, huh? Letting those squids get underneath your skin? Throwing the first punch?! [sarcastically] Right. Nothing's going on.
So what? I'm not some hotshot soldier like you.
Trevor
Are you deliberately trying to sabotage your career? Because if you are, you're doing a hell of a job!
What do you know about it, huh?! You don't know nothing about me!
Trevor
So tell me.
Forget it. Guys like you had it easy your whole life. You don't understand. You don't understand how–– [goes back to mopping the floor] Forget it.
[Trevor smirks as he turns to leave]
Did I say something funny?!
Trevor
Don't understand, huh? My mom died when I was three. The next day in between beers my father dropped me off with social workers. And I was in and out of foster homes till I was seven.
I'd kick my old man's ass for that.
Trevor
Yeah, I didn't have the chance. He's in prison doing life for murder.
Thought you were deploying with the 23rd Sustainment.
Trevor
Uh..I was, but––
He's decided to command a desk instead. [to Jeremy] How are you doing?
Sergeant Moran, what happened to you?
Trevor
He tripped up over his own ego. It's kinda hard to avoid.
Had a little helicopter mishap. We all walked away.
It's always good. [to Trevor] So, uh, you're working at a desk?
Trevor
I'm a recruiter. Got my stripes, decided to stay stateside for a while. Encourage more studs like you to sign up.
Don't think about hitting on that road, Sherwood. You wanna be where the action is, not pushing paper like this slacker. [looks at Trevor]
Trevor
Watch it or I'll tip over your crutches. [jokingly threatens to push his crutches]
Trevor
[cellphone rings] I gotta take this. We'll compare scars later again.
[Trevor is trying to teach Pamela and Roxy how to play golf.]
[takes a swing] Damn it! Either my boobs have gotten bigger or my arms have gotten shorter.
[Trevor and Roxy look on in bemusement]
Trevor
Just keep your knees bent and your head down.
[...]
Trevor
All right. Let's see how you address the ball.
Ok. [clears throat] Hi, ball.
Trevor
[laughs] I meant, let's see your stance.
I know what you meant. Geez, lighten up. You played high school golf, not the PGA Tour.
Trevor
Babe, the game comes with its own language.
[Pamela is heard cussing loudly off camera.]
[Trevor is sitting on the bed writing in his planner]
[glumly] I got a bit of good news. We don't have to worry about bar fights. We don't have enough customers.
Trevor
[smiles] You're hysterical. [looks up at Roxy] Hey, what's wrong?
[shakes head] Nothing. I'm happy.
Trevor
Rox, this is you happy?
And I wanna make you happy.
Trevor
Come here. [pulls Roxy onto his lap] Baby, you always make me happy.
We don't have enough money.
Trevor
Yeah we do. Ok, no we don't. But so what? We got each other, right? You, me and the boys.
Trevor
And the dog.
Trevor
[laughs] And Finn's bugs.
[Trevor looks at her in shock]
Trevor
[still in shock] Baby? [Roxy nods] We're having a baby?
[looks at Trevor] Are you happy?
Trevor
[pauses] [jumps up in delight] Yes!!! Yes!!! This is me happy!
[tearfully] Because you said it's not the right time.
Trevor
This is the greatest thing you've ever said to me since "I do".
Well, you haven't seen me with fat ankles.
Trevor
Babe, I love fat ankles and I love you. [picks Roxy up and hugs her]
Your wife gave me quite an earful about me and Pam. She tell you?
Trevor
[chuckles] No, but I'm not surprised. They're best friends. So...
I just don't know what she wants anymore. I mean, we used to be together on this stuff, you know? What do you think?
Trevor
About what?
Am I wrong to go to Fort Carson? Opportunities come, you take them, right? I mean, I was hand-picked for this.
Trevor
Look, I get it. Coming back from that injury couldn't have been easy.
No, it wasn't. [pauses] What about you man? I mean, Silver Star recipient. You could be leading a squad, fast-track on the way to a butter bar but you didn't go that way.
Trevor
It's not the same situation.
Maybe not. But what's that like? Being here instead of over there.
Trevor
It's good being around the family.
That wasn't the question.
Trevor
Honestly, after I got wounded, all I could think about was getting back to my unit. That's what drove me, everyday, to the gym, to the track. I had to get back to my guys.
Trevor
Don't get me wrong. I would make the same decision again. But you just can't get these years back. [both look at TJ and Finn]
Ever since I joined up, all I ever wanted to be was the best of the best. And I got there. And I love it.
Trevor
[nods] Have you told your wife that?
Yeah, I just don't think she's listening much anymore.
[Roxy is glancing through a baby catalog]
Boy howdy. They got strollers in here for $500. For that kind of money it should push itself.
Trevor
I bet they're cheaper at the PX.
Well, it doesn't matter if they are. We gotta beg, borrow and steal everything we can before we spend a dime on anything real. Besides you can't go poking around the PX 'cause I haven't told anybody about the baby yet.
Trevor
[looks at Roxy in astonishment] Rox, you're killin' me. Why haven't you told your friends yet?
When was I supposed to tell them? After Jeremy tried to shoot himself? Oh, or when Pamela left Chase? Or maybe I should've done it––
Trevor
Ok, ok, I get it. Just don't let other people's stuff stress you out. It's not good for the baby.
I'm not stressed about other people's stuff. I'm stressed about my own stuff, like the ban on The Hump Bar, the Mustang's on its last leg, we gotta get all this new baby gear.
Trevor
Babe, I got a plan.
Oh really. What's that? A bake sale?
Trevor
That's funny. No, I'm getting a second job.
Trevor
A lot of guys moonlight.
[...]
[looks at Lucky] Why don't you get a job, huh? Your kibble isn't free y'know. Hey, you look at me when I'm talking to you.
Army Wives · 293 quotes
