[the day of the party]
DDJ
Alright let's give it up for the birthday boy, Markula! How old are you?
I am the one turning 4040.
DDJ
[Quietly] Four thousand forty? [Loudly] That is old!!
S5Couples Skate
I told you no phones! You're just making me look stupid!
DDJ
And now it's time to let the lights down for Couples' Skate!
PPaul
(grabs Carl) Oh, boy! Couples' skate!! (squeezes Carl in half out of excitement)
S5Dummy Love
Once, there was a beautiful little girl...
What happened to her?
Her mom threw acid on her face because she was jealous of her beauty!
No...
Skulldilocs! Skulldilocs! Thats what the schoolchildren cried... And she was so upset... she threw acid on the schoolkids faces!
Oh my goodness!
Cause somebody from the bible told her to do it!... now press the button...
I don't wanna press the button!
If you don't press it she's gonna come for you in the night!
With a bucket of acid for my face?!?
Spoiler alert: yes...
No!
Press the button with all your might! Now give me your hand!
NO! I won't do it! (Shake smashes the button against Meatwad, pressing it and causing the book to make screaming sounds)
...the children screamed, again and again and again... Press it again (Smashes it againest Meatwad again. making the book scream again.) Press it again twice fast. (Smashes it against Meatwad twice making the book scream twice.)...and Skulldilocs was never found...Good-night! (Leaves a crying Meatwad in his room and is shown locking the door with multiple chains and bars) See ya in hell! (Meatwad squeezes throgh the bottom of the door.) Fine.
CCarl
WHO IS GIVING OUT FREE DUMMIES IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD?!! If it's that Mormon kid, I swear to God!
Leave it to me.
[onstage]
And clearly ladies and gentleman my little wooden friend is torched. And yet, where did he go? Voila! (Dummy appears in lion's mouth) Thank You! Thank you very much! And the gorilla says "You mean the one that fucked' ya up the ass?" and the lion says...
DDDie Dummy
Why? Did it already make the papers?
That's exactly what he said, you son of a bitch! Thank you! We got a million of 'em.
[At the bar]
This is huge for me! You know I'm the star, right?
Oh, yeah, man, we're real proud of you Shake-
You know what, Frylock? I've found my niche and I've just grooved right into it. (Dummy steals a wing) Hey! Watch the wing sauce on the tux. Jose Feliciano wants us to open for him. That's big!
I wish them dummies was real flesh and blood boys.
No!
Yeah-uh. I do.
S5The Marines
[TV Commercial]
TTV
Warrior gum. The last gum you'll ever need.
MMan
Damn!
Listen, when we dock, I'm gettin' a tattoo of an anaconda that's coming outta my groin region! It's gonna say Bad Ass...in ancient Script. Like Egyptian, maybe.
Also [puts his hat on] I joined the Marines.
You did what?
I joined the Marines.
[Frylock awakens to find his head in a trap]
Where am I?
PPuppet
Welcome to Canada, Frylock. The key to the trap on your head is implanted in your skull, just behind your right eye. On the table in front of you is a grapefruit and grapefruit spoon. Do the math.
Wait, wait! What's the grapefruit for?!
PPuppet
[pause] I don't know actually, I forgot. You think you can maybe...grab your jaw and sort of rip your head open. I want to see inside there! Rip your head open!!
[Shake and Meatwad find Frylock in Canada]
Frylock! We found you! I miss your beautiful face!
How was Canada?
Canada? Uh, Canada sucks.
Well, so does the Marines.
[Shake is covered in blood]
Well, pack your things, maggot. We goin' to the Middle East.
Hell no! Let's see the Marines try to take me like this!
[Master Shake pulls out a shotgun and puts it in his mouth]
Shake, NO!
[Shake blows his own head off. Cut to an aircraft carrier at sea.]
[His head having been poorly reassembled] Unbelievable! They took me like this!
Meatwad: You smokin' and jokin' with these potaters or are you peeling them, maggot?
S5Bible Fruit
Uh, Hello! What are you doing over there without me?
I'm updating my MySpace page.
Well, I'm about to update your My FACE page with my ASS unless you get in there and read us a story!
I don't want to hear a story, I wanna watch a story.
No, no, the TV is tired of you looking at it!
How do you know? You don't know the TV.
I do! I'm very good friends with the TV. That's how we get all the good shows.
What are you doing, Frylock?
I told you once already.
Look. I'm about to whip it out. And I'm gonna urinate all over this room and you will WISH that I did not ingest all that asparagus.
All right, go ahead. Whip it out.
He wants to come out and punish you.
Go on. Show him.
Oh, I will. In private. Because there's not enough room in here.
Why don't you ask that TV if he'd mind showing me some Futurama? I like me some Futurama.
Well, now we're too damn cheap to receive it, so go the hell over to Carl Central and watch it to your heart's content.
Carl gets Futurama?
He didn't even want it until we started watching it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.