[Cartoon opens up on The Goodfeathers. Camera pans left to Flaxseed's Totallity of Candy. "Dance of The Sugar Plum Fairies" from "The Nutcracker Suite by Pytor Tchaikovsky plays in the background. Fade to inside. A weasel in fine clohtes and a toupee, is sucking on a green sucker, looking at himself in the mirror. Sister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July walks up to the counter]
SMSister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July
[in an Irish accent] Eh, beggin' yer pardon, sir.
FFFerman Flaxseed
[taking the green sucker out of his mouth] Yes?! Yes?! What?! What?! What?!
SMSister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July
I'm Sister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July, and-well, I was wonderin', Mr. Flaxseed, our orphanage hasn't much money, and, well-would you consider donating some of your fine candies to our sweet boys and girls for our Easter celebration?
FFFerman Flaxseed
[looks at the camera] You mean - for free?
SMSister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July
Yes, exactly.
FFFerman Flaxseed
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- [camera trucks-in on his mouth. As he laughs, his tonsils, each with a purple toupee, laugh with him. Camera trucks-out of his mouth] AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-ha! NO! [kicks Sister Margaret-Anne-June-July out. She blows raspberries, then walks away] Deadbeats! Where DO they come from?
Ferman Flaxseed is pouring a bag of marshmallows into a barrel. Yakko, disguised as a mail man, comes in with a telegram for him]
Telegram for Ferman Flaxseed! [hands him the envelope] How about a tip?
FFFerman Flaxseed
Don't eat lead!
[as he and Dot appear out of envelope] Didja miss us?
Give us a kiss, kid! [kisses him on the nose. They run as he gives chase]
Look! Malted milk balls! [pours the malted milkballs out of the jar and into his mouth. He becomes a machine gun as Ferman Flaxseed advances towards them. He spits them out with Dot winding his tail, shooting at Ferman Flaxseed. Ferman Flaxseed deflects the malted milkballs, which go into Yakko's mouth, using the silver platter as a shield. Wakko runs out of malted milkballs] I'm out!
FFFerman Flaxseed
[angrily grabs Wakko and Dot and holds them up] Naugh-ty, naugh-ty children!
SMSister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July
[offscreen] Stop right there! [as her shadow overlooms Ferman Flaxseed] You put those children down, you beast!
[Sister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July stands at the doorway with a ruler, very angrily; Yakko smiles]
FFFerman Flaxseed
But, you-don't understand! They were-
WDWakko and Dot
[pretending to cry] WAH!
SMSister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July
Come on, girls! That's the one I toldja about! Get him!
[She and the nuns march in angrily, with yard sticks in their hands. Camera trucks-in on Ferman Flaxseed's terrified face]
FFFerman Flaxseed
Wait! You're nuns! You're not allowed to resort to physical violence!
SMSister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July
He's right. Let us pray. [she and the nuns pray mumblingly. Outside Flaxseed's Totallity of Candy, a Notre Lame bus pulls up. Cheerleaders and The Notre Lame Marching Band come out of the bus as The Notre Lame Football Team comes to beat up Ferman Flaxseed] Our prayers have been answered! [blows the whistle]
[The Notre Lame Football Team marches down an aisle of Cheerleaders and beat up Ferman Flaxseed]
WWarnerss
[cheerleading] Clobber Flaxseed, clobber Flaxseed! Sis-boom-bah! Fighting Irish, Fighting Irish! Rah! Rah! Rah!
Go, Flaxseed! [violence stops] Just kidding!
[Violence continues. The Warners eat popcorn as they watch the violence. The Notre Lame Football Team stops beating up Ferman Flaxseed, and leaves. So do Sister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July and the nuns. Ferman Flaxseed is beaten up and weak from the fight]
You should go hit the shower!
[They throw him into the quick drying chocolate. He gets covered in chocolate]
Make sure to wash behind your ears!
[They dunk him in quick drying chocolate. He becomes a chocolate bunny]
[Last lines]
SMSister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July
I know all of us here at the orphanage want to thank the Warner Brothers...
SMSister Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July
...for donatin' this lovely chocolate Easter Bunny to the children!
[Kids cheer as they rush toward the chocolate bunny]
Wait'll they get to the creamy filling!
[The Warners wave their eyebrows]
[Scene changes from Summer to Autumn]
[offscreen] Hup, two, three, four, no can's getting in my door. [cut to inside. She is marching back and forth, dressed as Rambo, in front of bazooka guns, army tanks, and barbed wire] Hup, two, three, four, no can's getting in my door. [the doorbell rings; she opens the door]
SMSister-Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July
[in an Irish accent] Hello. We're taking collections for the homeless.
[growls] Prepare to eat it, slappy!
SMSister-Margaret-Mary-Anne-June-July
[in an Irish accent, screaming, in unison with other nun] Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness!
Ha! Gotcha! [the grenade explodes. All that is left of her is her teeth]
[to the audience] She reminds me of a very young Wilma Flintstone.
Animaniacs · 261 quotes
