Cordy quotes from Angel

Angel, man. You've gotta snap out of this!

Right now. It's time for you to get all vampy. Grrrr. Kate needs you.

Angel

Uh uh, I don't want to. You both withdraw when I go vamp. I feel you judge me.

We won't judge you! Will we? [Doyle concurs] ... Give it a try.

Angel

[shakes head] Closeness is too important to me now.

Wesley

Demons with one eye, demons with twelve eyes, some with double vision. No blind demons. Perhaps Angel's discovered a new species.

What, Helen Kellerus Homicidalus?

Bryce

She's impure? She-she's not a virgin? [Starts towards Wesley] You...

Gunn

Woah! That's what "impure" meant?

She slept with him?

Bryce

You were supposed to be Angel. This wouldn't have happened. That's why I hired him. He's a eunuch.

Cordelia

You slept with her?

Angel

A eunuch?

Wesley

Things happen. Two young people, danger...

Virginia

What are you talking about?

Bryce

She was a virgin before you got here.

Virginia

I was not a virgin!

Bryce

What?

Wesley

Oh, thank goodness.

Gunn

I could have told you she was no virgin.

Angel

Not a eunuch.

Cordelia

One day as Angel! One day, and he's getting some.

Bryce

What? How could you. I kept you away from all men!

Angel

The curse isn't even all that clear.

Virginia

Daddy, you remember that chauffeur from when I was 16? And the one at 18? I haven't been a virgin for a very long time. I even dated Rick.

Bryce

Ginny, don't do this! Don't make me angry!

Virginia

Right. Because then you might do something bad. You were going to kill me! [She punches Bryce, knocking him to the ground.] You are not my father anymore.

Angel

Not a eunuch.

Cordelia

Lemme break it down for you, Fred.

Oh, Angel, I know that I am a Slayer, and you're a vampire and it would be impossible for us to be together, but--

But... my gypsy curse sometimes prevents me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...

Yes, Angel?

I love you so much, I almost forgot to brood.

And just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.

Or possibly more?

Gasp! No! We mustn't!

Kiss me!

Bite me!

Angel

[entering] How 'bout you both bite me?

You're back!

Gunn

How'd it go?

Angel

I think those two pretty much summed it up.

Hey, what are friends for?

Darla

If you ask me, they're for knocking you up and leaving you high and dry.

Darla

Hello, lover. Long time no see.

Angel

This is impossible.

Darla

Tell me about it, daddy!

You slept with her?

Angel

Vampires can't have children. Wesley?

Ah, no, he's right. It's not possible.

That's not what I asked.

Darla

You know we can't. I know we can't. But we did.

I wonder if this might not be that bad thing we were expecting.

Darla

What did you do to me?

Angel

Cordy that's Darla. Maybe you don't want to...

Did you or did you not look me in the eye and say that you would *never* do a thing like this with her?

Darla

Oh, he lied? What a surprise.

Hi. I'm Fred. Is water okay, or did you want some blood?

Angel

Cordy. I'm sorry I lied. It was just...it was a very dark time.

Oh! You used her to make you feel better during your dark time. Well, that makes it all heroic.

Angel

It wasn't like that. It just happened. It wasn't like I went evil or anything, I just...

You just went male. [She brushes the hair out of Darla's face.] Have you been to a doctor?

Darla

No. But I have been to every shaman and seer in the Western Hemisphere.

And what did they say?

Darla

They don't know what it is. They don't know what it means. Nothing like this has ever happened.

Angel

Maybe it's an hysterical pregnancy.

Darla

You wanna feel it kick?

Does it kick a lot?

Darla

Like crazy.

Wow.

I know, huh?

I'm sorry this has come to pass.

Angel

I'm a little confused.

About what? What was unclear?

Well, upstairs you said you thought Gunn was in danger.

He is!

And you think that because...?

He broke up with me!

Oh.

But not really.

Oh. No?

No!

That is good. I am relieved.

No this is worse. Much worse. I wish he had broken up with me.

Fred, are you sure he didn't? I mean, those things you said he said to you...

I know I said he said those things to me, but he would never say those things to me.

Those things he said?

Exactly! That's why I know he's in trouble.

Angel

Let me get this straight. You and Gunn are dating.

Not any more, I guess!

Fred, honey.

Don't you see? He hurt me. And the only reason he'd do something like that is to protect me from something. And whatever it is, it's gotta be bad, because this hurts like hell.

Angel

Then I guess we better help him. We are not losing another member of this family.

Wesley

Had to be someone else. Someone with the ability to slip past Wolfram & Hart security systems.

Lorne

Like our magically tattooed faux Doyle.

Angel

Spike, I don't wanna go in blind. Anything else you know about this guy?

Spike

Not much. Average size. Dressed like an urban cowboy. Got his hand chopped off once.

His hand?

Wesley

He's back.

Angel

Lindsey.

Who?

Angel

Lock the building down, make sure he can't get out. Don't trust security systems. He won't show up because of those tattoos of his.

Wesley

There could be a way to fix that. I'll need some help.

Lorne

My dance card's free.

[to Angel] Who is Lindsey?

Cordelia

A lawyer. Wolfram & Hart's former golden boy, till he ran off to go find himself.

Angel

Yeah, he should've stayed lost. Harmony, guard Eve. She moves, eat her.

Harmony

[grins widely] Really? Thanks.