Spike's a hero and you're CEO of Hell, Incorporated. What frickin' bizzaro world did I wake up in?
“You're Welcome” · Season 5
In this episode: Cordelia Chase (8), Puppet Angel (7), Spike (3), Fred (2), Harmony Kendall (2), Eve (2), Wesley Wyndam-Pryce (1), Lorne (1)
[After Angel stops Spike from biting Cordelia]
She's evil, you gormless tit!
Excuse me? Who bit whom?
Did you call me a tit?
I thought he had a soul.
I thought she didn't.
I do.
So do I.
Well, clearly mine's better!
[grabs Eve by the ear] Let's go, Lilah Jr.
We've got a problem, Eve.
Damn right, you do. When I tell the partners you assaulted me--
[pacing] A couple weeks ago, a man approached Spike. Told him that the Powers That Be have some missions for him. Spike, brain trust that he is, went along with it.
[insulted] Hey!
[standing in front of Eve now] He's the one who told Spike to save me from the parasite. The parasite you put on me in the first place.
Not this again.
[Eve starts to stand but Cordy steps in front of her.]
Get out of that chair and I will feed you those Manolo Blahniks. [looks at Eve's shoes] Which are stunning, by the way. [smirks]
Seems to me like you and this guy are working together.
[sits] Look, I don't know what you're talking about, but you--you can't keep me here. I have to leave.
But the thing that really, really pisses me off is that this guy seems to be going by the name of Doyle.
Doesn't ring a bell.
It does to me. [yelling in Eve's face] Rings a big fricking gong, and I wanna know who has the nerve to be using that name.
I'm gonna give you one chance to tell me where he is.
Angel, torture her.
What?
What?
You heard me. Building's clearing out, means we don't have a lot of time. Have at it.
I can't just torture her.
FFred
He's right, Cordy. If we sink to their level...
[Harmony races past them and starts attacking Eve]
Harmony!
Is this okay? I mean, I am evil, technically. I don't mind torturing her for the team.
Yeah. Okay.
[Harmony punches Eve in the face]
Come on, you hussy! [backhands Eve across the face] Spill it!
Had to be someone else. Someone with the ability to slip past Wolfram & Hart security systems.
Like our magically tattooed faux Doyle.
Spike, I don't wanna go in blind. Anything else you know about this guy?
Not much. Average size. Dressed like an urban cowboy. Got his hand chopped off once.
His hand?
[Angel, Cordy, Wes, and Gunn realize who is impersonating Doyle.]
He's back.
Lindsey.
FFred
Who?
Lock the building down, make sure he can't get out. Don't trust security systems. He won't show up because of those tattoos of his.
There could be a way to fix that. I'll need some help.
My dance card's free.
FFred
[to Angel] Who is Lindsey?
A lawyer. Wolfram & Hart's former golden boy, till he ran off to go find himself.
Yeah, he should've stayed lost. Harmony, guard Eve. She moves, eat her.
[grins widely] Really? Thanks.
[looking at the tank] Bye-bye, Angel.
[looks up to see Angel and Cordelia blocking the exit]
Hello, Lindsey.
[grins] And the hero arrives right on schedule. And with a date.
Yeah. Dinner and a show... and you're both.
[Angel walks slowly toward Lindsey with his arms crossed.]
Is this the part where I get all weak in the knees? Promise I'll never do it again?
Little late for that, Doyle.
There's always time for redemption. Isn't that your whole thing?
You had your chance. I guess some people, they just never change.
[Angel starts to backhand Lindsey, but Lindsey catches his hand mid-thrust and punches Angel in the ribs before throwing him hard across the room. Angel rollls across the floor into the opposite wall.]
I did.
[Angel is fighting Lindsey, currently hand-to-hand]
All those tattoos.
[Ducks under a punch from Lindsey]
All those new tricks you've learned.
[Dodges another punch]
They just don't matter.
[Blocks Lindsey's next punch]
Doesn't matter what you try...
[Another punch is blocked]
Or where I am...
[Another blow is blocked]
Or how bad-ass you think you've become, because you know what?
[Grabs Lindsey by the throat and holds him up close to his face]
I'm Angel.
[Throws Lindsey away dismissively]
I beat the bad guys.
[Angel puts on his jacket. Cordelia walks into his office. Angel sighs.]
So, you feel good?
[Angel turns toward Cordelia]
Yeah, I do. I just... I kinda feel bad about it.
My God, you are a piece of work.
I just [laughs]...I just don't feel I deserve... I mean all I did was beat up a tiny Texan. [Angel sits down] Not like I helped anyone.
Sure you did.
Who?
Boy, I really do fall for dumb ones. You know how you're always trying to save, oh, every single person in the world? Did it ever occur to you: you are one of them?
No, it never did.
Well, you made the list, gorgeous. And you needed some help.
And you were the one that...helped me.
Did my part. [Cordelia sits next to Angel]
[chuckles] Lindsey wasted a lot of energy trying to make me doubt myself. I know it's not even close to over. I do feel like... I can do this. Wolfram and Hart, whatever's coming, I feel like we can beat it.
I know.
You do?
I always did. I... I just needed you to know it too.
So, all that stuff about the deals with the devil...
Is God's honest truth. But you're bigger than that. You'll win this in the end. [she gets up] I, uh, I just wish I could be there to see it. [sighs]
[he gets up] What do you mean? You're not...?
I can't stay. This isn't me anymore. You can say goodbye to the gang for me, explain everything, once you understand.
That's gonna be never. I... I need you here.
Don't make this hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road, and this is my off ramp. The Powers That Be owed me one and I didn't waste it. I got my guy back on track.
Cordy, there's just...
[she puts her hand on Angel's cheek] We take what we can get, champ, and we do our best with it. [tearing up] I'll be seeing you. [she turns and starts to walk away] Oh, what the hell... One for the road?
[she rushes to Angel and the two embrace and kiss]
[the phone rings]
You know, um, [whispers] I don't... I don't need to get that.
That... you have to get.
[Angel walks towards the phone]
Oh, and you're welcome.
[Angel picks up the phone]
Hello? Yes, I know, she's... But that's impossible, she's standing right... [Angel turns around to see Cordelia gone; he puts the phone back to his ear] I'm sorry. [chokes up] Yeah. Did, um, so when did she die? Did, she, um... She never did wake up? I see. [he hangs up the phone and speaks softly] Thank you.
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