Lorne quotes from Angel

Lorne

Jeez, keep your pants on! [opens to reveal Angel, who just had sex with Darla] Well, I see we're a little late with that advice.

Lorne

Well, you're just a regular Hans Christian Tarantino, aren't you?

Lorne

(singing) Go to sleep, lullaby, you've been fed and you're sleepy. You'll be with uncle Lorne, who in no way resents not being asked to go to the ballet. And is certainly, not thinking, of selling you to the first vampire cult that makes him a decent offer...

Lorne

Fluffy. Fluffy the dog. The dog you don't have. The universally recognized code for "I'm being held prisoner. Send help!"

Lorne

I hate to be a the little demon that cried "Apocalypse Nowish"...

Lorne

Wha...? Put me on the short bus, and send me off to clueless school. A mystical pregnancy right under my beak and not even a tingle. Huh.

Lorne

Tonight the Role of Judas Iscariot will be played by Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan.

Lorne

[referring to Angel and Eve] oh you two. The sexual tension. with a knife I could cut it, get a room.

Lorne

So I am covered in cherries. The police are just pounding on the door, and Judi Dench starts screaming, "Oh, that's way too much to pay for a pair of pants!"

Lorne

I repeat, bluebird got wise. Secret Demon's cover is blown. Over. Hel-hello?! Is this on? Hey, Leery, now, when did you catch on to me? In the elevator? That was a tough one.

Lorne

My question first, and tell the truth because you know I'll know: Why "Mandy?"

Angel

I know the words. And, I think it's kinda pretty.

Angel

I still can't believe you're here. I mean...I killed you.

Darla

I'm over that. You haven't told anyone else about these dates of ours, have you?

Angel

No. I want you all for myself.

Darla

I know how you feel.

Angel

It's so strange.

Darla

But good.

Angel

But good.

Lorne

Somebody get these two love-vamps a room!

Darla

[singing] You're only misleading the sunshine I'm needing. Ain't that a shame? It's so hard to keep up with troubles that creep up from out of nowhere when love...

Angel

Aren't you supposed to be reading her?

Lorne

I'm a channel surfer. Look, you're a big hunk of hero sandwich. You wanna save the girl. I can see why. But you're missing the crucial point here. Things fall apart. Not everything can be put back together, no matter how much you want it.

Angel

She's not gonna die.

Lorne

Why do you care so much? She had more than most of us, already 400 plus years.

Angel

As a vampire. Before that she was... She... She never had a chance.

Lorne

Someone get my heart. That girl's ripped it right out.

Angel

What is 'it' and how do I stop it?

Lorne

I don't know and you don't.

Angel

Can it be killed?

Lorne

Most anything that can manifest in order to move in this dimension can be killed. Kinda the down side of being here. That and the so-called 'musicals' of Andrew Lloyd Webber. (With a sigh) The band of Blacknil. Don't ask me what it means. I don't know. I shouldn't even be giving you that much.

Angel

What is that? Rock? Country? Ballad? Pick a style, pal.

Wesley

Shh.

Lorne

Angel cakes! Don't make me ask you to leave.