Cordelia Chase quotes from Angel

Cordelia

[to Doyle] You're a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard.

Cordelia

[voicemail] Angel Investigations? We help the hopeless. If that's you, leave a message.

Cordelia

[on the phone in her new apartment] God, Aura, I can't believe I miss your calls. It's that incompetent girl at work. But things are going great. Well, my new apartment for one thing. Celebrities are practically on top of me. Oh, Steve Paymer. That's Dave Paymer's brother, lives right down the hall. Oh, you'd know him if you saw him. And my view, it's amazing. Yeah, I have a roommate, but it's cool, I never see him. [Her can of diet root beer slides away from her on the sofa table and she puts her hand over the receiver.] Hey, hey. Phantom Dennis, put that back. [Can slides back and to Aura.] All in all, it's working out great. [the TV turns on and Cordelia covers up the receiver again] Dennis, when I'm on the phone, that's quiet time. [TV turns off] Thanks. Sorry. So, where were we? Tell me who's wearing what in Sunnydale. No. Well, she never did have any taste. [laughing] She's so nasty. [laughs]

Cordelia

[to Doyle] Let me explain the lore here, okay? They suffer, they fight--that's business as usual. They get groiny with one another--the world as we know it falls apart.

Cordelia

[while Angel and Buffy are fighting a demon in Angel's office, Cordelia and Doyle think that the two are fighting each other] Oh, this is pretty normal. Angel and Buffy talk things out and then they punch things out.

Cordelia

Feel this you feeling freako! [stabs Barney in the back with a demon horn, draining his life force and killing him]

Cordelia

Feel this, feeling-creepo! [stabs Barney in the back with a demon horn, draining his life force and killing him]

Cordelia

And wow, you look half dead. Which, for someone who's completely dead, would be kind of neat.

Cordelia

You can always tell when he's happy. His scowl? A little less scowly.

Cordelia

Maybe it's time to visit your stoolie. Make with the chin music until he canaries. I've been watching a little noir festival on Bravo.

Cordelia

[emerges from her kitchen, serving drinks to Angel and Wesley in her living room] English breakfast tea... coffee... [sets a tall glass on the table for Angel] ... O-pos.

Cordelia

[About Darla] I'm sorry, but after 400 hundred years of death and destruction, seems to me, you get voted off the island. Am I right?

Cordelia

Hitting the pause button- Wolfram & Hart? As in, vampire detectors, crack security system and armed guards? Good plan, General Custer!

Cordelia

Off with their heads!...kidding!

Cordelia

I swear, she picked out the song herself.