Still not sure why Blondie Ghost tagged along.
SpikeNot much choice really, is there? Can't drink, smoke, diddle my willy. Doesn't leave much to do other than watch you blokes stumble around playing Agatha Christie.
Yeah, remind me again how you ended up in the front seat.
Spike
Called shotgun, mate.
Oh. [pulls up a shotgun] I thought we were doing a weapons check.
Nothing wrong with that. [pulls up an axe] We may need these bad boys if we're going up against some Mexican Day of the Dead heart-sucking monster.
Angel, the church we're looking for is about half a mile... [Angel suddenly spins the car around in a 180]
Spike
Always was a bit of a drama queen.
[The lights in the Wolfram & Hart elevator suddenly go out.]
Spike
I know what this is. YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME TO HELL, PAVAYNE!
[Emergency lights come on and an alarm sounds.]
Spike
Oh. Well, that's just something I say... when, uh... it gets dark.
Spike
Don't know if you know this, but, uh, I killed my mum. Actually, I'd already killed her, and then she tried to shag me, so I had to, uh...
[Spike makes a staking motion with his hand but Wesley interrupts.]
Thank you! I'm... very comforted. Right.
[Spike and Angel are fighting to reach the Cup of Perpetual Torment.]
Spike
Come on, hero. Tell me more. Teach me what it means. And I'll tell you why you can't stand the bloody sight of me.
Tell it to your therapist.
Spike
'Cause every time you look at me, you see all the dirty little things I've done, all the lives I've taken... because of you! Drusilla sired me, but you... you made me a monster.
I didn't make you, Spike. I just opened up the door, and let the real you out.
Spike
You never knew the real me. Too busy trying to see your own reflection, praying there was someone as disgusting as you in the world, so you could stand to live with yourself. Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you!
No, you're less. That's why Buffy never really loved you, because you weren't me.
Spike
Guess that means she was thinking about you all those times I was putting it to her.
Spike
Look at you. Fighting for truth, justice, and soccer moms. But you still can't lay flesh on a cross without smelling like bacon, can you?
Like you're any different.
Spike
That's just it. I am, and you know it. You had a soul forced on you as a curse, make you suffer for all the horrible things you've done. But me, I fought for my soul, went throught the demon trials. Almost did me in a dozen times over but I kept fighting. 'Cause I knew it was the right thing to do. It's my destiny.
Really? Heard it was just to get inside a girl's pants.
[Spike is poised to drink from the Cup.]
Spike
Probably should've dusted you. But honestly... I don't wanna hear her bitch about it.
Spike, wait. Wait. That's not a prize you're holding. It's not a trophy. It's a burden. It's a cross. One you're gonna have to bear till it burns you to ashes. Believe me. I know. So ask yourself: Is this really the destiny that was meant for you? Do you even really want it? Or is it that you just want to take something away from me?
Spike
[pauses] Bit of both. [drinks]
[lunges to try to stop him, but too late.] Spike?
Spike
[drops the cup, stares at Angel, bewildered.] I-it's... Mountain Dew.
Yeah, not mattering. I know that feeling well.
Spike
Oh, come on, Harm. You matter to someone.
Spike
Yeah. Girl tried to frame you, didn't she? Must've mattered to her. Everybody's talking about it.
You're right. That girl hated me. She wanted me dead. I matter.
Spike
[to Lindsey] Ahh. Uh, yeah, thanks... but not really my type, Mary. So be a good lad and push off. What are you gawking at?
A guy like you, whiling away his time in some cheesy downtown strip dive. Look like somebody who's feeling kinda lost.
Spike
Is that right? Funny, thought I knew exactly where I was. Place called the Peppermint Stick. Prima ballerina up there's Sunshine. Though I'm fairly certain that's not her real name.
WIWoman in alley
Thank you! Thank you! That thing was going to kill me!
Spike
Well, what did you expect? Out alone in this neighborhood - I've got half a mind to kill you myself, you half-wit.
Spike
I mean honestly, what kind of retard wears heels like that in a dark alley? Take two steps and break your bloody ankle.
WIWoman in alley
[annoyed] I was just trying to get home.
Spike
Well, get a cab, you moron, and on the way, if a stranger offers you candy, don't get in the van!
[Angel is dreaming that the team are celebrating for Spike.]
Spike
Well, this is... Thank you, everyone. I don't know what to say. I'm just a working-class bloke fulfilling his destiny. It was nothing, really.
Nothing? Spike, you single-handedly ended Armageddon and turned the world into a beautiful, happily-ever-after-candy-mountain place where all our dreams come true.
[The world is shown as looking like a fairytale.]
Spike
Beautiful, isn't it?
The living end. And now it's time for your reward.
Spike
But I didn't do this for a reward.
Well, that's why you're getting one.
[The Blue Fairy enters the room.]
After all, anyone who saves the universe from eternal bloodshed, horror, and misery deserves to get what they've always wanted.
Deserves to become a real boy.
FFairy
And so you shall. [waves her wand over Spike]
Spike
My heart. It's... it's beating again! Listen.
[puts her ear to his chest] You're human, Spike. You're alive!
[The staff shout "Hip Hip Hooray" for Spike as Angel walks away sadly, pushing a mail cart.]
Angel · 793 quotes
