Puppet Angel quotes from Angel

Cordelia

Angel, torture her.

Angel

What?

Eve

What?

Cordelia

You heard me. Building's clearing out, means we don't have a lot of time. Have at it.

Angel

I can't just torture her.

He's right, Cordy. If we sink to their level...

Angel

Harmony!

Harmony

Is this okay? I mean, I am evil, technically. I don't mind torturing her for the team.

Angel

Yeah. Okay.

Harmony

Come on, you hussy! [backhands Eve across the face] Spill it!

Wesley

Had to be someone else. Someone with the ability to slip past Wolfram & Hart security systems.

Lorne

Like our magically tattooed faux Doyle.

Angel

Spike, I don't wanna go in blind. Anything else you know about this guy?

Spike

Not much. Average size. Dressed like an urban cowboy. Got his hand chopped off once.

His hand?

Wesley

He's back.

Angel

Lindsey.

Who?

Angel

Lock the building down, make sure he can't get out. Don't trust security systems. He won't show up because of those tattoos of his.

Wesley

There could be a way to fix that. I'll need some help.

Lorne

My dance card's free.

[to Angel] Who is Lindsey?

Cordelia

A lawyer. Wolfram & Hart's former golden boy, till he ran off to go find himself.

Angel

Yeah, he should've stayed lost. Harmony, guard Eve. She moves, eat her.

Harmony

[grins widely] Really? Thanks.

Lindsey

[looking at the tank] Bye-bye, Angel.

Angel

Hello, Lindsey.

Lindsey

[grins] And the hero arrives right on schedule. And with a date.

Cordelia

Yeah. Dinner and a show... and you're both.

Lindsey

Is this the part where I get all weak in the knees? Promise I'll never do it again?

Angel

Little late for that, Doyle.

Lindsey

There's always time for redemption. Isn't that your whole thing?

Angel

You had your chance. I guess some people, they just never change.

Lindsey

I did.

Cordelia

So, you feel good?

Angel

Yeah, I do. I just... I kinda feel bad about it.

Cordelia

My God, you are a piece of work.

Angel

I just [laughs]...I just don't feel I deserve... I mean all I did was beat up a tiny Texan. [Angel sits down] Not like I helped anyone.

Cordelia

Sure you did.

Angel

Who?

Cordelia

Boy, I really do fall for dumb ones. You know how you're always trying to save, oh, every single person in the world? Did it ever occur to you: you are one of them?

Angel

No, it never did.

Cordelia

Well, you made the list, gorgeous. And you needed some help.

Angel

And you were the one that...helped me.

Cordelia

Did my part. [Cordelia sits next to Angel]

Angel

[chuckles] Lindsey wasted a lot of energy trying to make me doubt myself. I know it's not even close to over. I do feel like... I can do this. Wolfram and Hart, whatever's coming, I feel like we can beat it.

Cordelia

I know.

Angel

You do?

Cordelia

I always did. I... I just needed you to know it too.

Angel

So, all that stuff about the deals with the devil...

Cordelia

Is God's honest truth. But you're bigger than that. You'll win this in the end. [she gets up] I, uh, I just wish I could be there to see it. [sighs]

Angel

[he gets up] What do you mean? You're not...?

Cordelia

I can't stay. This isn't me anymore. You can say goodbye to the gang for me, explain everything, once you understand.

Angel

That's gonna be never. I... I need you here.

Cordelia

Don't make this hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road, and this is my off ramp. The Powers That Be owed me one and I didn't waste it. I got my guy back on track.

Angel

Cordy, there's just...

Cordelia

[she puts her hand on Angel's cheek] We take what we can get, champ, and we do our best with it. [tearing up] I'll be seeing you. [she turns and starts to walk away] Oh, what the hell... One for the road?

Angel

You know, um, [whispers] I don't... I don't need to get that.

Cordelia

That... you have to get.

Cordelia

Oh, and you're welcome.

Angel

Hello? Yes, I know, she's... But that's impossible, she's standing right... [Angel turns around to see Cordelia gone; he puts the phone back to his ear] I'm sorry. [chokes up] Yeah. Did, um, so when did she die? Did, she, um... She never did wake up? I see. [he hangs up the phone and speaks softly] Thank you.

Angel

You're a Nazi?

Spike

[Wearing a Nazi jacket] What? Oh. No, I just ate one.

Spike

Sneaky bastards, the SS. Don't ever go to a free virgin blood party. Turns out, it's probably a trap.

Angel

You were captured at a free virgin blood party?

Spike

I know. Who would've thought.

Angel

We are not going to kill anyone, understood?

Spike

[Making a rude hand gesture at Angel] Heil Hitler.

Aren't ya gonna ask me how I got in here?

Angel

No. You'd be amazed at how many people break into this building on a regular basis.

Did they at least torture you? Please tell me they did.

Angel

Never gave them a chance. Jumped ship... off the coast of Maine. Went underground till the war was over.

Like any other coward.

Angel

Wars are won and lost by men.

You mean...like me? No, wait, that doesn't apply anymore, does it?

Angel

I never wanted to do this to you.

Oh, put your hanky away. I know how important the technology they pulled from the sub was to helping us stop the Germans. Sounded like a fair shake. One person damned to make the world safe for future generations. [looks over at Angel's gang] Except these guys.

Angel

Killing them's not going to change the past.

But it'll hurt you. Maybe that's enough.

Angel

Never is.

Then maybe I found my mission again after all these years.

Angel

Being an evil son of a bitch not keeping you busy?

We all need a reason to live, even if we're already dead. Mom, apple pie, the stars and stripes... That was good enough for me till I met you. Then I had this whole creature-of-the-night thing going for me--the joy of destruction and death--and I embraced it. I did all the terrible things a monster does--murdered women and children, tortured fathers and husbands just to hear 'em scream--and through it all... I felt nothing. 60 years of blood drying in my throat like ashes. So what do you think? Is it me, chief? Or does everyone you sired feel this way?

Angel

You're the only one I ever did this to...after I got a soul.

Do I have one, too?

Angel

I don't think it works that way, son.

Didn't think so.

Spike

Really ought to do something about security. They'll let anybody in here, won't thèy7 Fred gave me the Cliff Notes. So, sailor boy finally came back for a yo-ho-ho, did he?

Angel

Finally came back.

Spike

Took him long enough. Know revenge is best served cold and all, but his must've been frozen solid.

Angel

I don't think that's what he was after.

Spike

No? Then what was he looking for?

Angel

A reason.

Oh, my God! Angel, you're... cute!

Puppet Angel

Fred, don't...

But the little hands! And the hair! [strokes his hair]

Puppet Angel

Hey! You're fired.

Lorne

Maybe it's some kind of puppet... cancer?

Puppet Angel

[teeth gritted] I do not have puppet cancer!

Spike

[barges into Angel's office] Hello, big guy! Need another car. Afraid this last one ended up in the drink... [stops in mid-thought when he sees puppet Angel sitting at the desk]

Puppet Angel

[anxiously] Spike...

Spike

[staring] Look at you.

Puppet Angel

[gesturing with his hands] Just turn around and walk away.

Spike

[still staring] You're a--

Puppet Angel

Spike!

Spike

You're a bloody puppet! [starts laughing uncontrollably]

Puppet Angel

What are you people looking at? Well?!

Spike

They're looking at the wee little puppet man.

Puppet Angel

[after beating Spike, to the bemused staff] Yes, I'm a puppet. Doesn't mean you don't have work to do. [walking back to his office] Harmony, get my call list.

Harmony

Um...

Puppet Angel

Spike needs a car.

Spike

[to Harmony] You heard the puppet.