I have a friend who refuses to get a pet because he says in the end they die and it's just too hard... maybe it's the same with relationship.
S4 E2Girl's Night Out
CMCindy McCauliff
How DARE you.
I didn't TELL him!
CMCindy McCauliff
You were ABOUT to!
No, no, no. I was just ...
CMCindy McCauliff
You had NO right.
Mark is a FRIEND of mine!
CMCindy McCauliff
I've HAD boyfriends before. Things have been JUST fine.
They have? Wait, how?
CMCindy McCauliff
I tell them I'm Catholic.
I'm confused. Catholic girls have penises? 'Cause I thought ...
CMCindy McCauliff
I tell them I'm against pre-marital sex!
No, I'm still confused. What other kind of sex IS there?
S4 E3Two's a Crowd
It's not easy finding a person to love in this world. whoever you end up with, she won't be perfect.
S4 E7Love on Holiday
You can sit anywhere you like. Is there a required time limit thing?
GBDr. Greg Barrett
For What?
Our date.
GBDr. Greg Barrett
Is this it? A trip to your office?
I'm busy. I can talk for five minutes to make it official.
GBDr. Greg Barrett
Are you serious?
You really expect me to date a man who bids on women at auctions?
GBDr. Greg Barrett
If I'm willing to date a woman who allows herself to be bought.
That was for charity.
GBDr. Greg Barrett
Yes. And you seem like a real giver.
[Holds up a clock] Hey! What do you know? Time's up.
GBDr. Greg Barrett
Guess it flies when you're having fun.
Let's see if you can fly, Superman. I'll open a window.
S4 E9Reasons to Believe
JCJohn "The Biscuit" Cage
It's very hard to make any sense of this without - well, at least with any degree of persuasion.
Well, does it have to make sense? I mean, the best things don't. Do they?
JCJohn "The Biscuit" Cage
Such as?
Love... Beauty is another - it's in the eye of the beholder. Even humor doesn't make sense, when you think about it - sense of humor? Who can explain what people find funny? I mean, to me, it's the insistence on making sense that doesn't make sense.
S4 E10The Ex-Files
NPNell Porter
Ling, uh, do you still like this guy?
No! No, I- I'm with Richard now. I- I... I might... I mean, he's not Richard.
NPNell Porter
Oh, come on. Richard has the depth of an ashtray. He's got nothing to offer but money and sperm, and you know it.
You having fun with this case?
It's okay. I prefer being a plaintiff, but a defendant's nice too. I get a martyr glow.
So Jackson Duper, you don't tell a woman your real name?
Hey, for all I knew...
You knew me well enough to go to bed with me.
Look...
Why the alias? You wanted?
No.
Certainly not by me.
Excellent. Do I get to talk
Fine. Quick, think up something.
Look...
We're back to look.
Hey...
We're back to hey.
Ling...
How do you know my real name? Oh that's right, I gave it to you. What an odd thing to do.
[Ally is outraged when Ling convinces a dying boy that he could sue God]
Do you know how his father died?
No. Do you?
Yes, I overheard the nurses talking. He was crushed by a tree that was struck by lightning. THAT was an act of God, so we go after the Church, HOUSE of God. I need to pee.
In a pinch, I sometimes allude to not wearing any underwear.
I won't be in that pinch.
Ally, what makes your problems so much bigger than everybody else's?
They're mine.
RSRabbi Stern
Are you always such a bitchy little thing?
Bitchy?
RSRabbi Stern
Coming in here, insulting the Talmud, insulting me!
What kind of rabbi calls somebody bitchy?
RSRabbi Stern
I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
'Cause I'm bitchy? God has no love for the bitchy?
RSRabbi Stern
Get out.
JCJohn "The Biscuit" Cage
Have no fear, Nelle, that girl is a bagel!
Bagel?
JCJohn "The Biscuit" Cage
[pauses] I meant to say 'toast.'
I am good in bed, Renee.
[Renee laughs]
What?
RRRenée Radick
Ally, I'm your roommate. We have thin walls, and you...
[Renee imitates small whining noises]
I don't sound like that.
RRRenée Radick
I make more noise breaking in a new shoe.
So how has it come to this? We're smart women, we're fairly attractive...
RRRenée Radick
I'm even hot.
GGreg
You kicked him?
I didn't know he was real; I thought he was pretend.
GGreg
You only kick pretend people?
[Pause] Yes.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ally McBeal pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.