Ally McBeal Season 5 quotes

Claire Otoms

I've always found, the funny thing about love is it's the one game you lose by refusing to play.

You're a woman, for god's sake. Be a man!

Ally McBeal

Jenny, the wrong ones can't hurt you. But the right ones, they're the killers.

Ling Woo

Oh God they got a new singer here? I can't keep up.

Nelle Porter

You don't know who that is?

Ling Woo

Why, should I?

Nelle Porter

That's Elton John!

Ling Woo

What is he doing here?

Nelle Porter

He's getting ready to tour or something. He's trying out material.

Ling Woo

Well can we get him to turn it down?

Tell me something, what do you think of me and Jenny?

Richard Fish

It's hard to tell... really it could be because I don't care.

You know that's another thing I don't like about younger women, they tend to run scared.

John Cage

I can't believe it! You're lip-synching your response!

Richard Fish

I had a lot to say. I wanted to make sure I...

John Cage

And you can't give it to me LIVE?

Richard Fish

Nobody does their best work LIVE.

Elaine Vassal

[After hearing that Ally broke up with Glenn] Oh, Ally, I just want you to know that I am here for you.

Ally McBeal

Yes, and what am I gonna do about that?

Nobody has rights. People have privileges and those privileges are lost when they violate the law.

Richard Fish

You know, Ally, no matter how low I set the bar of common sense, you amaze me in your ability to slither under it.

Fish

Women shouldn't enjoy sex. Period. If God wanted that, he'd have given them penises.

Had we met, I'm sure it would have been a great honor.

I will see what furniture I want! When I want!

I so much as see you with an ottoman we're done, as simple as that!

Elaine Vassal

Sorry I'm late.

Oh, Elaine, you can go first - since some of us seem to be resistant. Now, specifically what do you look for in a man?

John Cage

A pulse and a penis. Not necessarily in that order.

Ally McBeal

Prejudice comes in smooth reads, by the way, because bigots cannot spell.