John, if you don't like who you are, if you're truly unhappy with your life, it only means you're ready to have children.
S3 E6Changes
Remnants in toilet bowls actually traumatize me.
S3 E7Saving Santa
I'm asking. Are you OK?
[Metaphorically referring to soon-to-be ex-husband, Billy] Fine! I just went on this new diet. I lost 170 pounds of dead weight. I feel great!
Are you sure?
You can have him, Ally.
I don't want him.
[Flirting with Santa Claus actor] I had a dream last night that Santa kept coming down my chimney. Over and over and over again.
S3 E9Out in the Cold
Richard Fish: You could have at least TRIED to be sympathetic.
Ling Woo: I was under oath!
Richard Fish: Garlic...
Ling Woo: If this thing comes down to whether or not that Judge likes me, Richard, then I lose. He hates me. [John leans on Richard and takes off his shoes]
Ling Woo: What is the funny little man doing now?
John "The Biscuit" Cage: I have to prepare my final statement, you ungrateful little PIMP. [Ling gasps]
Richard Fish: Your Honor, if I may...
Judge Seymour Walsh: Oh, Dear God!
Richard Fish: Almost EVERY woman is BOUGHT. It's good that these kids learn that at a young age.
Judge Seymour Walsh: Mr. Fish -
Richard Fish: Tell me women don't become interested in men because of the size of their wallets. We see beautiful young girls walking around with 80-year-old men on WELFARE all the time, don't we? People in this country are seduced by success! Fancy car, big house, beautiful woman. It's the American Way.
S3 E10Just Friends
JCJohn "The Biscuit" Cage
[To Richard Fish] You know, it's just that simple with you, isn't it? Sex sex, sex sex sex! It's waddle with Whipper versus knee pit with Ling. Boy, you put the Fish in "superficial", dammit.
She said that?
JCJohn "The Biscuit" Cage
Yes!
Well, so, she had a dream. That doesn't...
JCJohn "The Biscuit" Cage
No, it's not the dream! She was suggesting that she and I explore being a couple. And Richard, I have to admit I've always harbored feelings for Ally.
Oh, gee, there's a flash. Look, John, there ARE ethical considerations here. The only question you have to ask yourself is: Can you sleep with Ally without Nell finding out?
S3 E13Pursuit of Loneliness
You own a store?
HJHon. Justice Hammond Dearing
And three others.
S3 E16Boy Next Door
BABilly Alan Thomas
What I'm trying to say: Love is the only thing that counts. I've loved her since I was 8 years old. We've never been apart, not a single day. And I will love her for all my days. And that's all that counts. It's all that will ever count. All my heart forever. I... uh need to... rest. [Proceeds tp sit down on floor, then collapses]
BABilly Alan Thomas
[During his summation] Last month, two people who never met got married on national television. [Walks over to defense table quietly talks to Ally] Did I imagine that or did that really happen?
Ally McBeal: That really happened.
Could I... uh could I have your attention please. About 40 minutes ago, um Billy Thomas passed away. [Pause, stunned silence in the office] Uh, he went quiet - - quietly and peaceful. [Walks away]
[Giving Billy's eulogy] I've heard it said, that as you're about to pass into the next world, the final truth of this world... hits you. And the last thing Billy spoke about, right before he sat down in the courthouse, was love. How it was all that mattered. He um... He seemed so lost in these last few months, but looking at him in the courthouse right before he died, he... He suddenly seemed so... found. He um, said to me, recently, he said, 'It's stronger than death.' And I wasn't sure what he meant. And now I am. When we were little, we would talk about this day... Well actually, we would sing about it. He would sing this song: 'And when I die... and when I'm gone... there'll be one child born... in a world, to carry on.' And that child... that child has big shoes to fill. [Looks up at Billy directly, then continues] Billy Thomas, With all of my heart... Forever. [She then returns to addressing the rest of the mourners, then smiles] Oh, and uh... As for Heaven? [Then slams her fist into the palm of her hand, and the opening of "A New Man in Town" explodes into the church as the choir rises to sing and the mourners begin to dance and clap, celebrating the life of Billy Thomas]
S3 E21Ally McBeal: The Musical, Almost
Nelle, whatever you believe my opinion of you is, I can't see it wounding you to such depths that...My disapproval of you, it only went to your...
Being a "rich bitch ice queen elitist cold snob." In case you're in search of the words.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ally McBeal pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.